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Feel so bitter about a group of friends and want to know how to move on

157 replies

Minkdeville · 11/09/2025 14:39

I have moved on in the sense of stopping contacting them, but I'm angry at myself for being such a mug for so many years.
Yes, they are entitled to want to move on from me too, which they did a long time ago and I was too blind to see it.

I'm someone who likes to change my hairstyle often, no particular reason, I just like changing things up. I've lived abroad in a couple of countries and moved a little bit in the UK, which I'm glad I've been able to do.

I've changed jobs a little too. It's just the sort of person I am, however it's very different from who they are.
They are mostly people who've been in the same company since we graduated 15 years ago, same hairstyle, same town etc.
There's nothing wrong with that either and I also sometimes wish I had their stability. The problem is they seem to see me as some sort of freak or outcast for it and made little jibes whenever I saw them.
It was very subtle, wasn't outward nasty comments but very passive aggressive and sort of 'oh, moved again have you?' With a judgmental look.

At school I was a straight A student and got teased a little for being a 'geek'. Their grades weren't as good, none of which matters now, I went to a 'prestigious' uni and they didn't, again none of which matters.

They've done well in their careers and are all in senior management now, as well as having married men on high salaries. Most have kids and live in large homes.
I feel, especially from one of them there's an air of superiority. She seems to boast about how much their car was and what fancy features it has, and made some sort of comment about my 'lack of stability'.

I have forked out a fortune over the years on their weddings, hen dos and baby showers. None of them in over 12 years have ever been to see me, once. I live an hour away, it's hardly the end of the world. I have travelled to them for 12 years.
I get rubbish excuses like 'Oh I don't like cities' (yet goes to them when it suits her)

I am finally done with this group of horrible women. So angry at myself for being a mug for so many years. One had a baby 2 months ago, sent my congratulations and said it'd be lovely to meet her baby boy, read it and never heard a word back.
How do I stop being such a mug and finally move on?

I haven't passed my driving test which is a sore point, yet im finally hoping to this year. One of them made a jibe 'Oh, you'd know all about public transport wouldn't you.'
Why are people like this? Finally I have a couple of friends who are actual friends.

OP posts:
StinkyCheeseMoose · 12/09/2025 12:59

PleaseGetBetter · 12/09/2025 12:56

Yup, more or less what I said but op has had my post deleted, good to see her one calling us all unpleasant has been deleted as well.

I didn't see your post before it was deleted (too busy writing mine). OP doesn't like hearing the truth.

Let's see how long mine lasts...

MotherofPufflings · 12/09/2025 13:05

PleaseGetBetter · 12/09/2025 12:56

Yup, more or less what I said but op has had my post deleted, good to see her one calling us all unpleasant has been deleted as well.

I reported you, because you're clearly just interested in being nasty and kicking the OP rather than actually offering constructive advice.

PleaseGetBetter · 12/09/2025 13:17

MotherofPufflings · 12/09/2025 13:05

I reported you, because you're clearly just interested in being nasty and kicking the OP rather than actually offering constructive advice.

👏😘

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 14:27

MotherofPufflings · 12/09/2025 13:05

I reported you, because you're clearly just interested in being nasty and kicking the OP rather than actually offering constructive advice.

The constructive advice is for the Op to focus on making her current life happier and more fulfilling, as she sounds very unhappy and unfulfilled.

and I suspect her unhappiness and dissatisfaction ruin is making her see shadows where there perhaps aren’t any or at least not to any real extent

Chilliprawnpls · 12/09/2025 14:30

Maybe they mention the hair because they don’t want to mention your job situation because they know how unhappy you are Op? And they’re floundering a bit?

Northernandproud89 · 14/09/2025 03:21

'oh, moved again have you?'

Reply with "Oh, still in the same place then?"

And I bet their husbands all fancy you 😏

Chilliprawnpls · 14/09/2025 06:09

Northernandproud89 · 14/09/2025 03:21

'oh, moved again have you?'

Reply with "Oh, still in the same place then?"

And I bet their husbands all fancy you 😏

Edited

And they’ll reply “oh yes, because we absolutely love it here. No plans to move”

and why do you think their husbands would fancy her? Just because she’s single?

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