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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?

709 replies

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 13:02

‘Children at state schools are almost three times more likely to have their lessons disrupted by poor behaviour than their privately educated peers, a widespread survey of parents has found.’

https://archive.md/HMGtJ accessible link to article .

18% 16-18yr olds go to private school, probably for this reason a lot of the time.

Do we expect the government to do something about it, particularly given they have closed the private school doors to many? What could they be doing to improve the worst state schools??

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?
OP posts:
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sundaychairtree · 06/10/2025 11:11

The main problem is twofold. Firstly, the scrolling generation have no comcentration span and no concept of delayed gratification. Secondly, weak parenting with no boundaries and no support for school rules and discipline.

Buddingbudde · 06/10/2025 11:16

Interesting article I read recently somewhere about a headteacher who turned around a failing school by insistent the parents of a disruptive child come into the school and sit at the back of a child’s classes all day to monitor how they act. No child wanted this to happen as parents are so embarrassing so all of a sudden started behaving. Meaningful consequences have to be found for poor behaviour.

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2025 13:28

Leah9 · 06/10/2025 10:40

Do you think we should bring back children skipping a year as well if it's suitable for them? I know a few older people who did that when they were at school and it seems to have been a positive experience for them.

Yes, if appropriate, just depends on what they'll miss as the teachers can't be expected to catch up entire topics that have been missed due to skipping. But, then again, if we didn't have this obsession with moving up years, secondary teaching could be transformed into modules rather than years (like Uni) so pupils could move through school quicker/slower according to taking modules (of mixed ages) rather than full years.

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2025 13:29

sundaychairtree · 06/10/2025 11:11

The main problem is twofold. Firstly, the scrolling generation have no comcentration span and no concept of delayed gratification. Secondly, weak parenting with no boundaries and no support for school rules and discipline.

There were disruptive kids 50 years ago, 25 years, ago, etc., long before "scrolling".

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2025 13:31

Buddingbudde · 06/10/2025 11:16

Interesting article I read recently somewhere about a headteacher who turned around a failing school by insistent the parents of a disruptive child come into the school and sit at the back of a child’s classes all day to monitor how they act. No child wanted this to happen as parents are so embarrassing so all of a sudden started behaving. Meaningful consequences have to be found for poor behaviour.

I agree that we need to think outside the box more re sanctions/punishments. A lot of kids regard detentions as just part of the normal school day so they're really not bothered about getting them. There was a thread on here over the weekend about a daughter who was getting regular detentions for rolling her skirt up - the "punishment" clearly wasn't having any effect/impact at all. Schools/teachers need to be more imaginative.

Parker231 · 06/10/2025 13:47

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2025 13:31

I agree that we need to think outside the box more re sanctions/punishments. A lot of kids regard detentions as just part of the normal school day so they're really not bothered about getting them. There was a thread on here over the weekend about a daughter who was getting regular detentions for rolling her skirt up - the "punishment" clearly wasn't having any effect/impact at all. Schools/teachers need to be more imaginative.

I don’t think teachers and schools need to be more imaginative. Students need to be made aware of the rules and what happens if they are broken. Parents need to support schools and ensure their DC’s are aware of their expectations regarding behaviour.
Students who break rules aren’t clever or special.

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2025 14:01

Parker231 · 06/10/2025 13:47

I don’t think teachers and schools need to be more imaginative. Students need to be made aware of the rules and what happens if they are broken. Parents need to support schools and ensure their DC’s are aware of their expectations regarding behaviour.
Students who break rules aren’t clever or special.

The point is that existing punishments clearly aren't working. So something has to change.

Parker231 · 06/10/2025 14:11

Badbadbunny · 06/10/2025 14:01

The point is that existing punishments clearly aren't working. So something has to change.

They aren’t working as too many parents don’t expect their DC’s to follow school rules without questioning.
DC’s knew that if they broke a school rule, their school would call us into the school (difficult when you work full time) and we would 100% support the school with whatever punishment was handed out. Parents, students and the school signed up to a behaviour agreement at the start of each school year so everyone was aware of the expectations and consequences.
Behaviour was generally good and lesson time wasnt disrupted .

Badbadbunny · 07/10/2025 10:10

Parker231 · 06/10/2025 14:11

They aren’t working as too many parents don’t expect their DC’s to follow school rules without questioning.
DC’s knew that if they broke a school rule, their school would call us into the school (difficult when you work full time) and we would 100% support the school with whatever punishment was handed out. Parents, students and the school signed up to a behaviour agreement at the start of each school year so everyone was aware of the expectations and consequences.
Behaviour was generally good and lesson time wasnt disrupted .

Whilst I agree, what is the answer? Schools/society will never change the feckless parents who don't support the school's actions, so, like for the past 50 years, kids will continue to get detentions and they'll continue to not care they've got detentions. Something needs to change. 50 years! It's insanity to continue doing the same thing and expect different results. We need a sanction/punishment system that works without the expectation of parents stepping up, as that will simply never happen. We have to deal with the real world, not what your "perfect" world looks like!

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