Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?

709 replies

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 13:02

‘Children at state schools are almost three times more likely to have their lessons disrupted by poor behaviour than their privately educated peers, a widespread survey of parents has found.’

https://archive.md/HMGtJ accessible link to article .

18% 16-18yr olds go to private school, probably for this reason a lot of the time.

Do we expect the government to do something about it, particularly given they have closed the private school doors to many? What could they be doing to improve the worst state schools??

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
DampSock · 12/09/2025 09:54

@Thepeopleversuswork

The reason I don’t agree with that reformUK policy - is it will lead to a situation where the most affluent children thrive, and the underprivileged are excluded.

My SEN child was rejected from state initially. Where would he have gone? After a battle, he is in state - happy and thriving.

Under that reform policy, it is too easy to exclude children - and encourages labels of difficult, unteachable - and then children start believe that about themselves. And a child in that negative cycle - what do they then go on to do? Commit crime? And how does that impact society?

DampSock · 12/09/2025 09:59

@Thepeopleversuswork

And what concerns me is that we are normalising that reformUK thought process about children’s education. That is the real danger. It was certainly not the thought process 20 years ago - when exclusion rates were lower, teachers had to provide good differentiated planning, and schools were more accountable for behaviour.

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 10:02

DampSock · 12/09/2025 09:59

@Thepeopleversuswork

And what concerns me is that we are normalising that reformUK thought process about children’s education. That is the real danger. It was certainly not the thought process 20 years ago - when exclusion rates were lower, teachers had to provide good differentiated planning, and schools were more accountable for behaviour.

I'm more worried about Labour's thought process on education ie inclusion above everything, reducing access to EHCPs and limiting parents right to appeal. 1 size fits all does not work.

Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 10:12

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 10:02

I'm more worried about Labour's thought process on education ie inclusion above everything, reducing access to EHCPs and limiting parents right to appeal. 1 size fits all does not work.

Totally agree

OP posts:
DampSock · 12/09/2025 10:13

@twistyizzy

I wholeheartedly agree with inclusion. It’s on the new OFSTED reporting card system. My child was nearly excluded before DC had even set foot in school, and to see DC now - it would have been completely detrimental to his well being, DC is learning really well.
I know of another exclusion and the family are desperate and don’t have a school place. The child is settled in every environment I’ve seen him in - except school.

Something definitely does need to change in terms of EHCP’s - it is far too complex, open to misinterpretation and under resourced.

I wholeheartedly agree that one size fits all does NOT work and schools should be adapting to reflect the changing needs in our society.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/09/2025 10:16

@DampSock

The reason I don’t agree with that reformUK policy - is it will lead to a situation where the most affluent children thrive, and the underprivileged are excluded.

To reiterate: I am not a fan of Reform.

But the reality at the moment is that the most affluent children thrive, while the less affluent fall into one of two categories: they either struggle due to learning difficulties and chaotic lives and are completely unsupported in “inclusion” or their education is constantly disturbed and interrupted by the need to manage the first category of children.

Its these children above all who are being failed by the blanket policies of inclusion applied in state schools.

I think your claim that the underprivileged are excluded isn’t quite right. There is very little exclusion by all accounts and children have to show a consistent and long running pattern of behaviour to be excluded.

Meanwhile a whole generation of children, of varying levels of affluence and privilege but who stop short of very extreme behaviour, is being denied a quality education by the dogged insistence on keeping children who should be excluded in the system.

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 10:16

Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 09:51

‘I think OP is looking for confirmation that a mediocre private education is better than an education in any state school, because she has been led to believe that all mainstream schools are awful places. And her private education hasn't led to a career where she can comfortably afford the VAT rises.’

A puzzling attempt at a summary of what I’m ’looking for’. You’re projecting and judging me by your standards, and you couldn’t be more wrong. Bizarre really but there we are.

I’ll deconstruct your points step by step, it’s easier:

Looking for confirmation that a mediocre private education is better than an education in any state school’ - what? This sentence has no grounds whatsoever in anything I’ve said. Obv a good school is a good school, grammar, comp, academy, or independent. Not one of those is automatically better than any other. But it would be stupid to think that eg. A selective grammar school would have the same results as a non selective school (state or private).

‘because she has been led to believe that all mainstream schools are awful places’ - again This sentence has no grounds whatsoever in anything I’ve said. Some schools are awful, some schools are not awful. This isn’t always dependent on the ‘type’ of school but the data in my OP attachment tells us that kids behaviour at some types of school, is worse than others. There, fixed it for you.

And her private education hasn't led to a career where she can comfortably afford the VAT rises.’ 🤣🤣🙈 You have no idea of my education or income. So although my initial thoughts were not to bother responding to this, actually I will because your attitude is an exemplary demonstration of people’s failure to comprehend information effectively, and subsequently jump head first into conclusions that fit their own cognitive bias.

I did not have a private education. I went to a very shit comprehensive school. That finished at age 16. Then I went to a shit local college. Despite these factors and probably because I have great parents, I still went to university (actually 2), and have done quite well.

I have 2 children in private school (I’d have sent them to a good state school had we had one nearby). Although I’m strongly against the VAT on education, the financial impact on me has been minimal / barely noticeable (sorry to disappoint you).

The awful school I went to has strongly influenced my thoughts on education. Most people in my year didn’t go to uni. The fact things seem (are?) worse today than then, is shocking.

Are we clear now?

In my experience those that are unaffected by the VAT increases are the least vocal about it but I am happy to be proven wrong.

Your data selection seems somewhat biased and that is how I arrived at my opinion.

As previously mentioned, if you live in a deprived area, the best thing for you community is for DC to stay in school rather than limiting options for people that haven't had the best start in life. Or move.

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 10:17

DampSock · 12/09/2025 10:13

@twistyizzy

I wholeheartedly agree with inclusion. It’s on the new OFSTED reporting card system. My child was nearly excluded before DC had even set foot in school, and to see DC now - it would have been completely detrimental to his well being, DC is learning really well.
I know of another exclusion and the family are desperate and don’t have a school place. The child is settled in every environment I’ve seen him in - except school.

Something definitely does need to change in terms of EHCP’s - it is far too complex, open to misinterpretation and under resourced.

I wholeheartedly agree that one size fits all does NOT work and schools should be adapting to reflect the changing needs in our society.

I wholeheartedly disagree with inclusion because it is never funded properly to enable it to work. It may be on new Ofsted but Labour aren't increasing funding to ensure it is done well.

In order to achieve proper inclusion in mainstream schools you would need to at least double funding per pupil, that isn't going to happen. So what will happen is that a broom cupboard will be opened as a "hub", staffed for 1-2 hours per week by a TA and that will be that.

Chiseltip · 12/09/2025 10:22

DampSock · 12/09/2025 06:42

@Chiseltip

So with exclusion rates at an all time high, we should keep adding more children to that record high rate - or change the way we do things?

Yes. Keep disruptive children out of school, so that those who want to learn can do so. That IS exactly what I am suggesting.

Ablondiebutagoody · 12/09/2025 10:24

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 10:17

I wholeheartedly disagree with inclusion because it is never funded properly to enable it to work. It may be on new Ofsted but Labour aren't increasing funding to ensure it is done well.

In order to achieve proper inclusion in mainstream schools you would need to at least double funding per pupil, that isn't going to happen. So what will happen is that a broom cupboard will be opened as a "hub", staffed for 1-2 hours per week by a TA and that will be that.

If only there was a hub! I reckon most of the disruptive kids will stay in class kicking off and smashing stuff up just like they do now.

Arraminta · 12/09/2025 10:24

This is why we were so determined our DDs went to a grammar school. There was virtually zero classroom disruption and what little there was was immediately stamped out. So it was already academically inclined girls also studying in a peaceful, pro active environment. Needless to say, exam results were superb.

Previously I'd worked in city comprehensives and my day comprised mainly of crowd control.

DampSock · 12/09/2025 10:28

@twistyizzy

Ok, we’ll have to agree to disagree because I strongly believe that inclusion is a core principle of any society.

“Inclusion, as best defined, means that the members of an environment feel that they are valued, respected, and included regardless of their background or identity. They have the same opportunities as others, and they are not overlooked or excluded.”

As my DC was nearly excluded, I feel extremely strongly about this and it will provoke a very strong reaction from me if we are moving towards a society that encourages exclusion.

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 10:30

DampSock · 12/09/2025 10:28

@twistyizzy

Ok, we’ll have to agree to disagree because I strongly believe that inclusion is a core principle of any society.

“Inclusion, as best defined, means that the members of an environment feel that they are valued, respected, and included regardless of their background or identity. They have the same opportunities as others, and they are not overlooked or excluded.”

As my DC was nearly excluded, I feel extremely strongly about this and it will provoke a very strong reaction from me if we are moving towards a society that encourages exclusion.

And you completely missed my reasoning for my stance ie funding.
Inclusion as a concept is great, inclusion in reality is a mess because it isn't correctly funded to be able to do it properly. In that scenario everyone suffers and no child gets rhe education they deserve.

Ablondiebutagoody · 12/09/2025 10:32

DampSock · 12/09/2025 10:28

@twistyizzy

Ok, we’ll have to agree to disagree because I strongly believe that inclusion is a core principle of any society.

“Inclusion, as best defined, means that the members of an environment feel that they are valued, respected, and included regardless of their background or identity. They have the same opportunities as others, and they are not overlooked or excluded.”

As my DC was nearly excluded, I feel extremely strongly about this and it will provoke a very strong reaction from me if we are moving towards a society that encourages exclusion.

I would suggest that the well behaved kids are not being respected and valued if we make them share a class with the very disruptive kids. Why should their work get destroyed? Why should they have to walk on eggshells for fear of triggering some kind of attack?

Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 10:32

Chiseltip · 12/09/2025 10:22

Yes. Keep disruptive children out of school, so that those who want to learn can do so. That IS exactly what I am suggesting.

Agreed. Why should a majority of children have the few disruptive children ruining Their education day in day out , making the teachers job almost impossible. Idiotic to think including disruptive children regardless, is a good idea. Idiotic or selfish, maybe both.

OP posts:
Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 10:33

Ablondiebutagoody · 12/09/2025 10:32

I would suggest that the well behaved kids are not being respected and valued if we make them share a class with the very disruptive kids. Why should their work get destroyed? Why should they have to walk on eggshells for fear of triggering some kind of attack?

Quite

OP posts:
Dramatic · 12/09/2025 10:50

Haven't rtft but I watched Educating Yorkshire the other day, a 12yo boy had a massive tantrum, kicking things, shouting and screaming at staff, banging doors etc all because he was asked to spit his chewing gum out. He then turned on the tears and had members of staff pandering to him. No thought given to the rest of the class who had their learning disrupted and had to deal with him kicking chairs around and shouting/screaming.

EasternStandard · 12/09/2025 10:54

Dramatic · 12/09/2025 10:50

Haven't rtft but I watched Educating Yorkshire the other day, a 12yo boy had a massive tantrum, kicking things, shouting and screaming at staff, banging doors etc all because he was asked to spit his chewing gum out. He then turned on the tears and had members of staff pandering to him. No thought given to the rest of the class who had their learning disrupted and had to deal with him kicking chairs around and shouting/screaming.

I haven’t watched but I often wonder why people consent to various shows.

But yes this is awful for other students too.

EasternStandard · 12/09/2025 10:55

Arraminta · 12/09/2025 10:24

This is why we were so determined our DDs went to a grammar school. There was virtually zero classroom disruption and what little there was was immediately stamped out. So it was already academically inclined girls also studying in a peaceful, pro active environment. Needless to say, exam results were superb.

Previously I'd worked in city comprehensives and my day comprised mainly of crowd control.

Grammars do sound good, any selection tends to change things. We were lucky with a comp but house prices were high although still mixed as in London.

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:02

Schools need to prioritise the kids that actually want to learn. The messers should not even be a consideration, kick them out and let them wander the streets all day, fasttrack them to prison. It won't take long for the message to get through.

Pogoda · 12/09/2025 11:05

ridl14 · 11/09/2025 13:19

I actually wish we had a system where you had to "pass" the year to move up like in Spain and Poland. I've heard students are a lot more motivated to work and they don't have punitive detention systems because the ultimate incentive is if you don't study, you could be held back a year. Also means those needing more time to get to grips with some concepts have it.

Yes, we have that system in place in my country. Marks/grades from all the subjects since you are 8 or 9 years old. You get bad marks for not completing your homework, bad behaviour, poor performance in tests, etc. You can be held back a year, if you do poorly, so most of students/parents try their best for the kids to behave. BUT parents do have authority at home and are respected. The general message to the kids at school/home is that they have duties first and only then rights. Most of kids/teenagers work really hard, cause there is no generous benefit system, so you can't simply sit at your parental home playing games, claiming some benefit or MH issues and do nothing else. The UK system is so very different that I don't think people here would happily accept this. So many times I read here that the elders don't deserve respect just because they are elders. So here you go, these are the consequences.

thebabayaga2025 · 12/09/2025 11:07

ridl14 · 11/09/2025 13:19

I actually wish we had a system where you had to "pass" the year to move up like in Spain and Poland. I've heard students are a lot more motivated to work and they don't have punitive detention systems because the ultimate incentive is if you don't study, you could be held back a year. Also means those needing more time to get to grips with some concepts have it.

This is a great idea, actually.

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 11:09

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:02

Schools need to prioritise the kids that actually want to learn. The messers should not even be a consideration, kick them out and let them wander the streets all day, fasttrack them to prison. It won't take long for the message to get through.

Or maybe let them get a job or do volunteer work.
For example charity shops are desperate for volunteers. Many can't take donations because they don't have anyone to sort them.
Some teens would actually prefer to be doing something like that instead of being in school.

FrangipaniBlue · 12/09/2025 11:10

blame the government for woefully underfunding and decimating SEN education and expecting mainstream schools to be able to cope.

blame the parents of the feral (non-SEN) kids for not giving them boundaries and discipline.

none of it is the fault of the schools or teachers.

FrangipaniBlue · 12/09/2025 11:12

Pogoda · 12/09/2025 11:05

Yes, we have that system in place in my country. Marks/grades from all the subjects since you are 8 or 9 years old. You get bad marks for not completing your homework, bad behaviour, poor performance in tests, etc. You can be held back a year, if you do poorly, so most of students/parents try their best for the kids to behave. BUT parents do have authority at home and are respected. The general message to the kids at school/home is that they have duties first and only then rights. Most of kids/teenagers work really hard, cause there is no generous benefit system, so you can't simply sit at your parental home playing games, claiming some benefit or MH issues and do nothing else. The UK system is so very different that I don't think people here would happily accept this. So many times I read here that the elders don't deserve respect just because they are elders. So here you go, these are the consequences.

Edited

Pretty much nailed it!

Swipe left for the next trending thread