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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?

709 replies

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 13:02

‘Children at state schools are almost three times more likely to have their lessons disrupted by poor behaviour than their privately educated peers, a widespread survey of parents has found.’

https://archive.md/HMGtJ accessible link to article .

18% 16-18yr olds go to private school, probably for this reason a lot of the time.

Do we expect the government to do something about it, particularly given they have closed the private school doors to many? What could they be doing to improve the worst state schools??

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?
OP posts:
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Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:15

ridl14 · 11/09/2025 13:19

I actually wish we had a system where you had to "pass" the year to move up like in Spain and Poland. I've heard students are a lot more motivated to work and they don't have punitive detention systems because the ultimate incentive is if you don't study, you could be held back a year. Also means those needing more time to get to grips with some concepts have it.

I've said the same many times on MN that instead of kids moving through school according to age, it should be according to ability, with kids who havn't progressed for whatever reason, being "held back" to keep being taught the basics.

It's wasting everyone's time to keep pushing kids through the years, trying to teach them more complicated things/subjects when they're barely numerate/literate. Really no point trying to teach Shakespeare to a kid that struggles with a "Janet and John" book (or modern equivalent of starter book). Likewise no point trying to teach Physics of Maths equations to kids who can't add/subject anything more than single numbers and who doesn't know their times tables/prime numbers nor how to multiple/divide. By pushing them through, it causes them to lose confidence, lose interest, become disengaged thus fuelling disruption etc.

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:17

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:02

Schools need to prioritise the kids that actually want to learn. The messers should not even be a consideration, kick them out and let them wander the streets all day, fasttrack them to prison. It won't take long for the message to get through.

The messege to get through to who? Those of you that think this is a good idea when the crime you desperately desire impacts your family and community?

hungryduck · 12/09/2025 11:24

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:15

I've said the same many times on MN that instead of kids moving through school according to age, it should be according to ability, with kids who havn't progressed for whatever reason, being "held back" to keep being taught the basics.

It's wasting everyone's time to keep pushing kids through the years, trying to teach them more complicated things/subjects when they're barely numerate/literate. Really no point trying to teach Shakespeare to a kid that struggles with a "Janet and John" book (or modern equivalent of starter book). Likewise no point trying to teach Physics of Maths equations to kids who can't add/subject anything more than single numbers and who doesn't know their times tables/prime numbers nor how to multiple/divide. By pushing them through, it causes them to lose confidence, lose interest, become disengaged thus fuelling disruption etc.

The argument against is always about age and social needs. But if a child has to repeat a year more than once, they likely have an educational need and would benefit from a specialist education.

If repeating a year more than once was the key admission criteria for specialist, it would save a ton of grief for parents of SEN children (and councils if they dared to admit it) leaving only physical disabilities, which mainstream schools should cater for anyway, and sensory disabilities (hearing/sight) which are fairly straightforward in determining need (compared to cognitive need - not saying it's easy for any).

The problem I forsee would be when you head towards GCSE level where you may have a child who excels in maths/science but struggles with literacy. Where should they go? But...if the literacy needs were addressed when young because they'd had to repeat y1, would that happen?

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:28

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:17

The messege to get through to who? Those of you that think this is a good idea when the crime you desperately desire impacts your family and community?

But there would be less crime?

EasternStandard · 12/09/2025 11:35

FrangipaniBlue · 12/09/2025 11:10

blame the government for woefully underfunding and decimating SEN education and expecting mainstream schools to be able to cope.

blame the parents of the feral (non-SEN) kids for not giving them boundaries and discipline.

none of it is the fault of the schools or teachers.

There are plenty of parents who want good outcomes and foster a good attitude with their dc (those with SEN included).

The gov seems intent on putting up barriers to that so we must all be disrupted.

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:36

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:28

But there would be less crime?

You think kicking kids out onto the streets with no education would lead to less crime? How so?

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:38

Because they'd be fasttracked to jail. And the younger kids would see what messing about at school leads to.

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:43

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:38

Because they'd be fasttracked to jail. And the younger kids would see what messing about at school leads to.

You can only be sent to jail if you commit a crime first. Which more serious crimials would you release early to make space for these children in jail? And once they are released with a criminal record then what? More crimes. They'd need to commit some pretty serious crimes to be given lengthy prison sentences initially.

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 11:45

OonaStubbs · 12/09/2025 11:38

Because they'd be fasttracked to jail. And the younger kids would see what messing about at school leads to.

Why do you assume they'd turn to crime?
Many teenagers misbehave in school because they simply don't want to be there.
They are bored, frustrated and full of hormonal energy.
But if they were allowed to leave and work/volunteer doing something they actually want to do their behaviour would change.

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:46

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:17

The messege to get through to who? Those of you that think this is a good idea when the crime you desperately desire impacts your family and community?

Well it's pretty clear our current "softly softly" approach to poor behaviour, disruption, etc isn't working either, given the sheer number of kids leaving school innumerate and illiterate, who already go into a life of idleness or crime. We've tried inclusivity and being soft for the past few decades. It's not worked, so how about we change things?

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:46

I don't for a second believe it would deter younger kids. The messege would be 'misbehave and you can leave' which I'm sure many would jump at the chance.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/09/2025 11:47

Buddingbudde · 11/09/2025 13:06

It’s why I send my child to private school. They get rid of the disruptive kids really efficiently. The teachers are just as good as the teachers at her state secondary, it’s just 25% of the lesson isn’t spent sorting out kids pissing around causing havoc. My kids grades have gone up 20% since they started. Its astonishing.

The state is against private school but why not take lessons from them. They could copy private schools success just by creating new schools for those who aren’t willing to learn, leaving those keen to learn to get on with it in peace.

Imagine if your child was one of the ones who had SEND or a traumatized life that made it harder for them to focus in a traditional classroom, would you want them to be slung in the sin bin with the other bad kids?

Donewithschoolruns · 12/09/2025 11:47

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:46

Well it's pretty clear our current "softly softly" approach to poor behaviour, disruption, etc isn't working either, given the sheer number of kids leaving school innumerate and illiterate, who already go into a life of idleness or crime. We've tried inclusivity and being soft for the past few decades. It's not worked, so how about we change things?

I agree school culture needs to change. But not in a way that we force masses of children into a life of crime, that isn't good for society. These people still go on to have children and the problem would get worse.

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:48

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 11:45

Why do you assume they'd turn to crime?
Many teenagers misbehave in school because they simply don't want to be there.
They are bored, frustrated and full of hormonal energy.
But if they were allowed to leave and work/volunteer doing something they actually want to do their behaviour would change.

Or we could bring back more manuals/skills in schools so that they'd be more interested, such as better training in the trades, car mechanics, etc. alongside the basics of life skills such as numeracy, literacy, etc. You know, like we used to do before the "one size fits all" (but doesn't) comp system.

Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 11:50

Pogoda · 12/09/2025 11:05

Yes, we have that system in place in my country. Marks/grades from all the subjects since you are 8 or 9 years old. You get bad marks for not completing your homework, bad behaviour, poor performance in tests, etc. You can be held back a year, if you do poorly, so most of students/parents try their best for the kids to behave. BUT parents do have authority at home and are respected. The general message to the kids at school/home is that they have duties first and only then rights. Most of kids/teenagers work really hard, cause there is no generous benefit system, so you can't simply sit at your parental home playing games, claiming some benefit or MH issues and do nothing else. The UK system is so very different that I don't think people here would happily accept this. So many times I read here that the elders don't deserve respect just because they are elders. So here you go, these are the consequences.

Edited

What country is this?

OP posts:
TheaBrandt1 · 12/09/2025 11:54

There needs to be some fear factor to make badly behaved kids and lax parents fall into line. This nicey nicey approach by schools doesn’t work.

If I was in charge persistent bad / disruptive behaviour would mean the badly behaved NT pupils are kept within the school but taught separately by AI robots. Leaving the decent kids to learn in peace with the teachers. If the badly behaved ones decide to fall into line they can be allowed back into general population.

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 11:54

@OonaStubbs I remember reading something years ago (or it might have been a TV documentary) about teens that were in Young Offenders Institutes.
They would be required to do some schooling (usually just English and Maths) but they would also be taught vocational skills. I remember that a group of the boys were taught woodwork and made benches and tables for the outside exercise area.
Basically they were doing something that they could see the actual end goal (need a bench...build a bench).
What I remember most is several of the boys said if they had been given the opportunity to do these types of things at school they wouldn't have messed around in school (got expelled/stopped attending) and ended up on a criminal path.

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 11:55

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:48

Or we could bring back more manuals/skills in schools so that they'd be more interested, such as better training in the trades, car mechanics, etc. alongside the basics of life skills such as numeracy, literacy, etc. You know, like we used to do before the "one size fits all" (but doesn't) comp system.

Exactly!

TheaBrandt1 · 12/09/2025 11:55

Breaks my heart for the decent kids who want to learn who are prevented from doing so by the cretins.

TheaBrandt1 · 12/09/2025 11:57

At my school the working class deputy head would take the non academic lads out of French and taught them to be tradies. They did jobs round the school, learnt how to behave in site, make the tea etc they even dug a swimming pool. They loved it. Wouldn’t be allowed now.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 12/09/2025 11:57

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:48

Or we could bring back more manuals/skills in schools so that they'd be more interested, such as better training in the trades, car mechanics, etc. alongside the basics of life skills such as numeracy, literacy, etc. You know, like we used to do before the "one size fits all" (but doesn't) comp system.

They do that in Scotland. DS is dyslexic and struggles with some subjects ( great at physics/ maths/art) and has chosen to go to college twice a week and does a practical course, he’s doing professional cookery as wants to be a chef but can also do hairdressing, car mechanics, electrical engineering type stuff. He’s 15 so in three years will have cheffing qualifications plus academic ones.

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:57

Needmorelego · 12/09/2025 11:54

@OonaStubbs I remember reading something years ago (or it might have been a TV documentary) about teens that were in Young Offenders Institutes.
They would be required to do some schooling (usually just English and Maths) but they would also be taught vocational skills. I remember that a group of the boys were taught woodwork and made benches and tables for the outside exercise area.
Basically they were doing something that they could see the actual end goal (need a bench...build a bench).
What I remember most is several of the boys said if they had been given the opportunity to do these types of things at school they wouldn't have messed around in school (got expelled/stopped attending) and ended up on a criminal path.

Nail on the head. Since the scrapping of the grammar/sec mod system, the emphasis has been on giving the academic/grammar style of education to all, and it's just not worked. Likewise Blair's crazy nonsense goals of 50% of 18 year olds going to University. We've had decades of looking down on manual skills and trades, which is what a lot of pupils actually want to do and would be happy doing. We're really not going to get far with the compulsory (in some schools) of teaching a modern foreign language to GCSE level with kids who can barely read/write in English!

twistyizzy · 12/09/2025 11:59

I've said it 1000 times but what we need is to scrap comprehensive system and create more choice:

  • vocational schools for 14+
  • technical schools for 14+
  • more grammars ie make them more accessible
  • more independent schools
  • more free schools

Scrap compulsory education age.
Make compulsory single education up until end Yr 8 ie core curriculum then for Yr 9 pupils can choose from the list of settings above for the best fit for them. They then follow that pathway until 18 but can change pathway at 16 or choose to leave education at 16.

Absentosaur · 12/09/2025 11:59

Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:57

Nail on the head. Since the scrapping of the grammar/sec mod system, the emphasis has been on giving the academic/grammar style of education to all, and it's just not worked. Likewise Blair's crazy nonsense goals of 50% of 18 year olds going to University. We've had decades of looking down on manual skills and trades, which is what a lot of pupils actually want to do and would be happy doing. We're really not going to get far with the compulsory (in some schools) of teaching a modern foreign language to GCSE level with kids who can barely read/write in English!

Agreed. And in fact the manual skills / labour usually cannot be replaced by AI. So these skills - plumbing, joinery, electrician etc etc will be future proof and desirable.

OP posts:
Badbadbunny · 12/09/2025 11:59

TheaBrandt1 · 12/09/2025 11:57

At my school the working class deputy head would take the non academic lads out of French and taught them to be tradies. They did jobs round the school, learnt how to behave in site, make the tea etc they even dug a swimming pool. They loved it. Wouldn’t be allowed now.

Yup, that sounds exactly like the kind of things they should be doing. In my old school, the worst of the disruptive kids did "outdoor pursuits" which was a mix of sports like cross country, with hill walking, canoeing, etc - I think the idea was to get them out to let of steam doing physical things. The main problem was that it wasn't offered to anyone else, so it was a kind of reward for poor behaviour.