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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?

709 replies

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 13:02

‘Children at state schools are almost three times more likely to have their lessons disrupted by poor behaviour than their privately educated peers, a widespread survey of parents has found.’

https://archive.md/HMGtJ accessible link to article .

18% 16-18yr olds go to private school, probably for this reason a lot of the time.

Do we expect the government to do something about it, particularly given they have closed the private school doors to many? What could they be doing to improve the worst state schools??

To think disruptive behaviour in schools is out of hand?
OP posts:
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Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 18:28

Ah bless the guardian for its constant churn of biased / inaccurate crap.

By ‘state schools’ it largely means selective grammar schools. Your bog standard comp won’t compare. But it’s not the guardians role to be objective. 🤢

Who knew - you get out what you put in. Grammars are also more selective than a lot of privates.

OP posts:
Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 18:30

MonGrainDeSel · 11/09/2025 18:01

Here's a comparison (admittedly a few years ago but I don't have access to get a newer one) of GCSE subjects offered at Michaela and a couple of other schools nearby.

Yes. Not a bad idea. Best to get some exam passes than fail several. Bit like going into a restaurant. Ones with vast menus are often dodgy, short specialist menus - far better quality.

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SomethingInnocuousForNow · 11/09/2025 18:30

InMyShowgirlEra · 11/09/2025 17:12

Sorry, are you likening taking prescribed medication to manage a diagnosed neurological problem to "taking stimulants to churn out work"?

There's nothing wrong with people with ADHD taking ADHD medication, whether they were diagnosed privately or NHS. However, a very big part (pretty much the point) of stimulants is to reduce hyperactivity, drastically increase focus and therefore the vast majority of children with ADHD who have access to medication will be able to churn out (much, much) more schoolwork than they were without stimulants.

Imagine Child A who is undiagnosed ADHD in state mainstream with poor parents and certain ADHD behaviours like shouting out in class, getting out of seat, impulsive swearing etc. Then imagine Child B who is undiagnosed in private mainstream with ADHD behaviours which won't get them kicked out immediately like fidgeting, daydreaming etc. Child A is told they're probably just crap at life, maybe they'll get put on a 4 year ADHD assessment waiting list, they'll get repeatedly suspended from school. Child B will have a private ADHD assessment in weeks or months, get access to medication, and then, yes, churn out work. Good for them if it's what they want and need and the side effects are not too bad for them.

But then everyone will say, "oh look how well private schools work".

frozendaisy · 11/09/2025 18:30

And this is all good.
Creativity and talent should be allowed to shine regardless of parental input financial or otherwise.

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:32

@Absentosaur

But similarly, you have to acknowledge your publication of choice has bias too!

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 18:32

DampSock · 11/09/2025 15:18

@Absentosaur

Times is conservative! You won’t find an article like that in the Guardian!!

LMAO at that 🤣
So The Grauniad is the single source of truth? The Times is a well respected paper with quality journalists. Just because it doesn't fit your world view doesn't mean it's not reporting facts or the truth.

We are all fucked if the Graunisd is the only paper we are supposed to rely on!

Buddingbudde · 11/09/2025 18:33

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 11/09/2025 18:30

There's nothing wrong with people with ADHD taking ADHD medication, whether they were diagnosed privately or NHS. However, a very big part (pretty much the point) of stimulants is to reduce hyperactivity, drastically increase focus and therefore the vast majority of children with ADHD who have access to medication will be able to churn out (much, much) more schoolwork than they were without stimulants.

Imagine Child A who is undiagnosed ADHD in state mainstream with poor parents and certain ADHD behaviours like shouting out in class, getting out of seat, impulsive swearing etc. Then imagine Child B who is undiagnosed in private mainstream with ADHD behaviours which won't get them kicked out immediately like fidgeting, daydreaming etc. Child A is told they're probably just crap at life, maybe they'll get put on a 4 year ADHD assessment waiting list, they'll get repeatedly suspended from school. Child B will have a private ADHD assessment in weeks or months, get access to medication, and then, yes, churn out work. Good for them if it's what they want and need and the side effects are not too bad for them.

But then everyone will say, "oh look how well private schools work".

so it’s not private schools drugging kids anymore, but doctors prescribing medication. Ok.

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:34

My point was The Times has a bias, the Guardian has a bias. It’s not just your opinion that’s the right opinion.

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 18:35

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 11/09/2025 18:30

There's nothing wrong with people with ADHD taking ADHD medication, whether they were diagnosed privately or NHS. However, a very big part (pretty much the point) of stimulants is to reduce hyperactivity, drastically increase focus and therefore the vast majority of children with ADHD who have access to medication will be able to churn out (much, much) more schoolwork than they were without stimulants.

Imagine Child A who is undiagnosed ADHD in state mainstream with poor parents and certain ADHD behaviours like shouting out in class, getting out of seat, impulsive swearing etc. Then imagine Child B who is undiagnosed in private mainstream with ADHD behaviours which won't get them kicked out immediately like fidgeting, daydreaming etc. Child A is told they're probably just crap at life, maybe they'll get put on a 4 year ADHD assessment waiting list, they'll get repeatedly suspended from school. Child B will have a private ADHD assessment in weeks or months, get access to medication, and then, yes, churn out work. Good for them if it's what they want and need and the side effects are not too bad for them.

But then everyone will say, "oh look how well private schools work".

Right so we can confirm that independent schools aren't just indiscriminately drugging pupils then.

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 18:36

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:34

My point was The Times has a bias, the Guardian has a bias. It’s not just your opinion that’s the right opinion.

You didn't say that though. You said " you won't find an article like that in The Guardian" which infers the Guardian is superior in its reporting to The Times.

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 18:37

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:32

@Absentosaur

But similarly, you have to acknowledge your publication of choice has bias too!

But the data gathered is not times readers kids. It a general population sample.the guardian clap trap is ignoring the fact that the high scores in the data quoted represents mainly - selective state schools.

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SomethingInnocuousForNow · 11/09/2025 18:37

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 18:35

Right so we can confirm that independent schools aren't just indiscriminately drugging pupils then.

Err yes I can confirm this because I never said that?

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:38

Considering the safety situation I had to deal with in a private school today (which is having financial struggles) - I felt relieved my son is in state.

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 11/09/2025 18:38

Buddingbudde · 11/09/2025 18:33

so it’s not private schools drugging kids anymore, but doctors prescribing medication. Ok.

I don't really know what to say to this, yes doctors are giving ADHD drugs to children with ADHD?

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 18:39

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 11/09/2025 18:37

Err yes I can confirm this because I never said that?

You didn't but a PP did, numerous times.

Bonden · 11/09/2025 18:40

The kids see far too much American stuff and “do what they see” - Americans are so much further ahead in terms of vile entitlement, a disregard for rules, a belief in Me First, and faith that shouting loudly and repetitively will get you what you want.

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 18:40

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:38

Considering the safety situation I had to deal with in a private school today (which is having financial struggles) - I felt relieved my son is in state.

Because all independent schools are 1 homogenous lump just like state schools are aren't they??
There are shit state schools and shit independent schools. Why is this such a surprise?

DampSock · 11/09/2025 18:49

@twistyizzy hmm, this is a very highly regarded private in an affluent area, with outstanding ISI…so how can you tell which are the ‘shit’ ones??

CinnamonBuns67 · 11/09/2025 18:52

They could make specialist education for children with SEN more accessible for start. They could give better training to the teachers and TA's and indeed the Sencos in mainstream school on SEN and behaviour management so that they can meet children's needs more effectively.

There also needs to be more understanding amd tolerance for SEND in communities, a parent who feels unsupported, judged and that all the other parents are angry at them and their child is very likely to shutdown and bury their heads in the sand.

Parents and teachers need to support each other more on tackling the behaviour within school as in they need to sit down together and make a plan instead of pinning it on one another and to make sure that child's individual needs are being met. Also more needs to be done to look for the reason behind the behaviour as behaviour is often communication instead of either teacher or parent shrugging it off.

DampSock · 11/09/2025 19:03

If LA’s are dealing with high level of exclusions from the state system, perhaps LA’s could fund them to go privately - as private schools are struggling to fill places
/closing due to the VAT hike.

DampSock · 11/09/2025 19:10

@CinnamonBuns67

I agree with that. Interestingly I volunteer for a children’s organisation where they learn extremely well, inclusion isn’t an issue, excellent rapport with parents, we have v limited funds. If this organisation can make learning work, why can’t schools??

DampSock · 11/09/2025 19:18

You are right @Absentosaur

It’s not all right wing bias from the Times!

  • A 2025 Parentkind survey, published in partnership with The Times, revealed that parents see comprehensive (state) schools as providing greater social and cultural benefits by bringing together children from diverse backgrounds.
  • The survey also indicated that parents believe comprehensive schools better prepare children for the diverse adult world they will encounter, a benefit that private schools, with their focus on exclusivity, cannot provide, according to The Times.
Lucy5678 · 11/09/2025 19:18

Absentosaur · 11/09/2025 18:28

Ah bless the guardian for its constant churn of biased / inaccurate crap.

By ‘state schools’ it largely means selective grammar schools. Your bog standard comp won’t compare. But it’s not the guardians role to be objective. 🤢

Who knew - you get out what you put in. Grammars are also more selective than a lot of privates.

Edited

Says the person who has so far posted a survey of parents opinions paid for by a newspaper and a Wikipedia page about a school. High quality data sources there….

DampSock · 11/09/2025 19:21

@Lucy5678

I find hypocritical statements don’t often register with our more right-wing leaning friends…

twistyizzy · 11/09/2025 19:24

DampSock · 11/09/2025 19:21

@Lucy5678

I find hypocritical statements don’t often register with our more right-wing leaning friends…

Wow are you denigrating the intelligence of someone just because they don't agree with you or hold different views to you?
Classic
Next accusation no doubt will be of someone being a 'bot'.

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