Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

Why didn't you say something on the date? I couldn't have sat there and been insulted over and over again.

I'd have said something up front like "I'm not really finding that funny, in fact, I'm finding it pretty offensive". And see what his reaction would be. If he got huffy, well that would be the end of the date and you could part.

I think you need to explain to him in very clear terms what is acceptable or not. Otherwise these men imagine somehow it's incel culture and 'women are to blame', when it's very clearly not the case. He's an imbecile.

Well, he certainly did not read the room, did he? At best he is insensitive with a juvenile 'sense of humour' - at worst he has taken the red pill and thinks the way to get a woman is by making them uncomfortable and insecure. I would tell him why he will never be seeing you again. Sorry, its grim.

This and to grow up! X

Don't waste your time with this wanker.
He's an idiot

I love it when the first answer nails it.

@brackenbury No, don't tell him why. It's not your job to educate him. He sounds as thick as shit and on a par with those idiots that attacked the home of a registered paediatrician a few years ago thinking that it meant paedophile.

You can't do anything about this level of stupidity. He would never understand your reasoning. You are not the asshole whisperer.

Better for him to pull a stunt like this over and over and over so he ends up alone rather than meeting someone and passing those genes on!

He's not worth a second thought from you but if you did want to send something, let it be something like, "No thank you. I've found a nice man."

You are clearly way out of his league. He’s an idiot. 💐

He's as thick as pig shit. Paediatric means children. So paedophile obviously still mean children. What a wanker!

OP definitely tell him the pedo jokes gave you the ick and then block him x

He sounds utterly abhorrent. Block and move on. I can’t believe you stayed all night.

Ask other colleagues to introduce you. He's a knob. Don't give him a second chance even if you feel like punishing him for being a knob.

This!!!!!!!

Is this not called “negging”? When an inferior man tries to put down a woman who is clearly better than him by gaslighting behaviour, making out he knows best? (I’m not sure if I have the vocab right.)
Forget him. Don’t give him a second of headspace.

The only person he embarrassed was himself. He sounds very childish and not very bright so you will much better off without him. I would message him and say why I didn't want another date if I were you as he needs to know what an idiot he is. Hopefully next time you will find somebody much more suitable who has actually grown up.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

Don't bother. He's not a naughty child.

Move on.

a) it's okay to walk away during a date
b) if they won't make time for a first date, they won't make time for you in their daily life

He’s threatened. You’re a successful hospital consultant and he’s a bellend.

Block and move on.

This!

Gosh he sounds really thick. I remember years ago when there was a case of CSA in the news some "vigilantes" targeted the house of a paediatrician also believing it was the same as paedophile. This was many years ago and I'll never forget how absolutely stupid some of the general public are.

The only appropriate response to that, from such a stupid man, is "... and I am Marie of Roumania".

Oh my goodness, he's in his 40s? Throw him back for sure! He's was definitely threatened by your success!

If he says you for a second date you could just respond with

"LOL, now that is actually funny...unlike your immature jokes on our date"

If you do think he was deliberately trying to put you down, and want to sink to his level, you could add....."we just aren't compatible, the gap is maturity and intellect is far too much for me"

I would be fuming too, wasting your precious time on a fool.
Ridiculous man.

Agree. I normally would say something (or find it hard to resist doing so) if someone was rude to me. But this guy sounds so utterly pathetic that I don’t think I’d feel any need to do anything other than say ‘no thanks’ or block.

Christ almighty, what a loser. It's giving me the ick just reading about it.

Sadly, I think it pretty much is absolutely grim from single women I know. I have two friends in their late 30s who are now pursuing IVF on their own as they are sick of the human cesspit that is online dating.

Honestly, I think my reply would be a link to this thread so he read over and over again that he is basically the human embodiment of the ick.