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Original poster

Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

605 replies

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 10/09/2025 20:38

Oh my lord.
How on earth (and why??!) Di dyou make it through the whole date?

I'd have just left.

How on earth he thought about this was funny or appropriate date material I've no idea.
Never mind for a with a date with someone whose literal job involes the protection and safeguarding of children.

Chuck him back and block him.

Jellyheadbang · 10/09/2025 20:38

I wouldn’t even bother telling him what a dickhead he’s been, let him carry on with his stinking attitude.
he’s better off showing his hand early on in the game so that no woman is hoodwinked by him pretending to be a better person than he actually is

Suusue · 10/09/2025 20:39

Tell him that he is a ridiculous child/man and you would never see him again in a million years.

Climbingrosexx · 10/09/2025 20:40

I would have to have my say, then I would block him. No way would that moron get the last word

TunipTheVegimal24 · 10/09/2025 20:42

Years ago, I worked in an administerial role, with some medical doctors. The doctors were all exceedingly nice and genteel, and pleasant to work with. Anyway, a new guy started. Can't remember when he did, except that he was quite high up in the office (higher than me), maybe a manager or in legal or something? Whenever he was in the break room, he would make comments about the medically qualified staff members, and say it was "them and us" and admitted he was intimidated by them. The rest of us were just quietly bemused, as he sounded quite unhinged. Needless to say he didn't last long!

fetchacloth · 10/09/2025 20:44

That guy sounds like an absolute arse OP.
Throw him back.

PorridgeEater · 10/09/2025 20:47

Ignore and block - he's just trying to get a reaction. Not worth wasting more time on him.

WalkDontWalk · 10/09/2025 20:51

Do not engage. If you do, he'll reply. Then you'll feel you have to reply to whatever fatuous and aggrieved thing he says. And then you're in a conversation.

He's an arsehole. You've realised it. Dismiss the whole thing.

Original poster
brackenbury · 10/09/2025 20:55

Hi all. Came back to so many responses! Thank you.

In response to some of the posts, he was ok to start with. To answer a poster, he knew I was a Dr, just not what my specialty was. I would have told him prior, but we largely talked about other topics - and mostly over text/voice notes.

Also, I try not to divulge too much - such as what hospital I work at etc... it's a simple safeguarding issue.

This was my first date in years. I lost my Dad in the pandemic (2020) - and my boyfriend died a year later (2021). So I was definitely horrified at how awful this date/man was.

Even after the initial 'pedo' comment, he did back off a bit (we were at dinner at this point) and he did start talking about other lighter and more serious topics. His Dad is battling Alzheimer's - so we talked about that. However, to lighten the mood, he started calling me a 'pedo'. Ok.... if that's his way of changing the subject, so be it - no matter how screwed up/

It was we continued dinner, he became more and more relentless and wouldn't let up. So I called it a night after that. No dessert etc... I just said I had to go. No, I didn't let him pay. No, he didn't 'come up for coffee'. I just left.

Also, I blocked him as of a few mins ago. No explanation.

OP posts:
Dappy777 · 10/09/2025 20:59

BriceNobeslovesMurielHeslop · 10/09/2025 17:47

He was trying to take you down a peg or two. Some men just don’t like women with important jobs (but cant admit it to themselves).
Sorry it was rubbish date - fingers crossed for the next one.

Yes, he was intimidated, and probably uncomfortable. On top of that he sounds like an immature prat.

There is a certain type of man I can’t bear. I don’t know whether your date would qualify, but maybe he would. I mean men who are thick or boring or ignorant (and deep down know they are), but also have massive egos. So there is this inner tension. On the one hand they want to be admired/be the centre of attention, but on the other hand they know they don’t have the wit or intelligence or education to win that attention.

I think the average man would like a pretty, dumb woman who adores him, hangs on his every word and treats him like a king. Men are scared of strong, educated, independent women.

Donttellempike · 10/09/2025 20:59

Just chalk it up op, rotten luck that this was your first foray.

On the plus side he didn’t pretend to be decent until you’d got in deeper. He’s a dick. No man worth the bother would carry on like that 💐

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/09/2025 21:01

Text:

'why on earth would I want to go on a second date with a man so immature and insecure he needs to undermine my job by making puerile jokes'...

Then block.

thestudio · 10/09/2025 21:05

Just thinking about why he thinks it's so hilarious to make the pun (if it can be called that):

A big chunk of men who don't have children often seem to lack the 'compassion for those weaker than you' gene.

It's really weird and a huge red flag I think. I know lots of us think of kids as annoying whiny shouty things until we have them - but most women without children fundamentally do find the idea of children (or anyone vulnerable) suffering really painful. That's not the case with a significant proportion of men.

Relatedly, I think those men often go on to be the icky/slightly creepy ones who say 'as a father of daughters, I'm a feminist ally' - yeah pal, we all know you were a predatory misogynist before you had kids and you now don't want other men damaging your goods.

Beautifulpeartree · 10/09/2025 21:05

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

He is not normal. Don’t bother, I would have blocked straight away after the date. Don’t waste your energy

KievLoverTwo · 10/09/2025 21:08

Crikey.

There are plenty more fish in the toilet, it seems.

Get off internet dating sites and onto forums instead. The Reddit UK sub, plus any areas of interest you have - they have pretty much every interest covered.

You soon sort the sharks from the angel fish by seeing how they talk to people online. You see if they are kind when they write many paras trying to help strangers out online with little benefit to themselves.

This is how I met my fiancé of seven years and a good five or so boyfriends in between.

The special interest forums quite often arrange meet ups. As do local regional ones.

Dating sites seem to be full of predators and idiots.

Forums are the way!

At least, they were seven years ago when i was on them.

I met dozens of folks, six or eight of of whom are lifelong friends on music forums back in the day too.

Word of warning re Reddit. Some people get off on Doxxing. Chose a username no one IRL would ever associate with and never give out more information than "medical professional" "midlands", and such like. No joke. It's all some people have to do, and if someone disagrees with you, some nutter may dox you for revenge. It was more popular on 4chan than reddit, but reddit has it's fair share. So, poster be warned! Chat to people for a long time - by all means DM - but no email with your name (or just make up a fake gmail one) til you are certain of trustworthiness.

thestudio · 10/09/2025 21:08

Sorry forgot to say - there's another aspect to this which is that anyone who repeats any kind of joke to this extent is either deliberately negging you or is a useless idiot who won't stop till he gets a pat on the back for being such a clever boy.

tara66 · 10/09/2025 21:13

Do not give him another thought. He seems really stupid and uneducated.
Does he not even know what your job is?

JollyGreenSleeves · 10/09/2025 21:14

What a nob! I think you should have walked out there and then.
Know your worth!

Dissappearedupmyownarse · 10/09/2025 21:18

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 17:45

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

I'm surprised you even stayed longer than 5mins after that comment?
It really has got to be one of the most insulting and vulgar things he could have come out with ffs!

xsquared · 10/09/2025 21:19

brackenbury · 10/09/2025 20:55

Hi all. Came back to so many responses! Thank you.

In response to some of the posts, he was ok to start with. To answer a poster, he knew I was a Dr, just not what my specialty was. I would have told him prior, but we largely talked about other topics - and mostly over text/voice notes.

Also, I try not to divulge too much - such as what hospital I work at etc... it's a simple safeguarding issue.

This was my first date in years. I lost my Dad in the pandemic (2020) - and my boyfriend died a year later (2021). So I was definitely horrified at how awful this date/man was.

Even after the initial 'pedo' comment, he did back off a bit (we were at dinner at this point) and he did start talking about other lighter and more serious topics. His Dad is battling Alzheimer's - so we talked about that. However, to lighten the mood, he started calling me a 'pedo'. Ok.... if that's his way of changing the subject, so be it - no matter how screwed up/

It was we continued dinner, he became more and more relentless and wouldn't let up. So I called it a night after that. No dessert etc... I just said I had to go. No, I didn't let him pay. No, he didn't 'come up for coffee'. I just left.

Also, I blocked him as of a few mins ago. No explanation.

That's all he deserves.

Topseyt123 · 10/09/2025 21:23

He sounds like an arse, and a very thick and stupid one too. Glad you've blocked him. He's not worth the time of day.

Rosscameasdoody · 10/09/2025 21:25

Chuck him back OP. He’s immature, rude and openly offensive. He has no respect for the job you do and he’s clearly not on the same intellectual level as yourself. It’s ick inducing. Dump and run.

Plastictreees · 10/09/2025 21:27

Great that you’ve blocked him OP. I hope you find someone more worthy of your time soon.

ICanSpellConfusionWithaK · 10/09/2025 21:27

honestly he sounds like he was completely out of his league and he is a childish twat. Definitely move on. And maybe tell him why when you decline!

TheProfoundlyPeculiarPointOfPete · 10/09/2025 21:28

Aw, he was so proud of that dazzling joke that he couldn't let you forget about it!

Bet he's still at home chuckling to himself now.. "paediatrician.... pedo... wahhhahahaha! They have the same prefix, you see?? But one's bad! Brilliant! How do I keep coming up with these smashers?!"

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