Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

This . He's thick and nasty. Don't even think about taking it any further.... you are definitely not suited.

You are not dating at your level if you are coming across these individuals
I have an extremely tight criteria and a very good screening process, As a doctor, you need to be dating somebody who is ideally a doctor but as a minimum on the same intellectual level as you anything else will be a complete disaster

Don’t be annoyed that you wasted your time, you didn’t know it would turn out that way,

I think I’d be happy that I have it a go, as it may have ended up ok.

I’d just reply that you’re not compatible and good luck for the future and leave it as that.

I'd have challenged him on it by half way through the date. And no, I wouldn't just block.

"Sorry, but I'm looking for someone with a more mature sense of humour"

'Oh gosh no. I was telling you about my work as a doctor and you made a 'joke' that I rape children. We clearly aren't remotely compatible.'

you know what to do, block him.
Fragile ego,thin skinned man threatened by a clever professional woman
He has absolutely shown you what a dullard he is. Run

he's massively insecure and a loser. block.

Indeed. I would bet that OP has patients who are significantly more mature than that moron.

Hi Name ,

Im really not sure what you were going for but taking the piss out of my job and repeatedly calling me a pedo was not funny and frankly a bizarre way to behave towards someone on a first date.

I am not interested in another one. No need to respond.

then block.

I would just reply, "Surely you can't seriously think I would be up for a second date with you?"

Joking about paediatrician sounding similar to pedo might be funny, once, to an 8 year old.

But the signals being given out are more serious than the wearisome, and over used, 'joke'

I suspect he can't cope with your better education, job, salary, position etc and this is his way of putting you down and pulling himself up.

It's not a good basis for any meaningful relationship.

Tell him/block him/ghost him as you see fit.

Other men are available.

All the best.

Yuck. Definitely block, but I would send something first that makes it clear how unacceptable his behaviour is.

I've got some "P" words to describe you Derek; pathetic, puerile, persona non grata. I'm afraid I'm not interested in dating anyone with the sense of humour of a 9 year old boy and the inability to recognise when they are being incredibly offensive.

I can't get my head round why you stayed!

The first time he'd said that I'd have given him a look and said, 'What an incredibly juvenile and inappropriate thing to say. Do you actually know what a paediatrician does?'

If he'd said it again I'd have stood up and left. And blocked him.

What an stupid man

insecure and a felt he needed to bring you down

block move on he isn’t worthy of a response

Ha ha first post nailed it!!

So he has got an inferiority complex when meeting a highly educated woman which leads him to try to belittle said woman. Charming..not so much. Maybe try to date someone working in healthcare who will respect and admire you. I do, I could never have gotten through med school.

How embarrassing for HIM! Throw him back

You're well out of it! He sounds very immature, that's schoolboy stuff.

There are many more fish in the sea who are not silly little boys of 43. He must know he was being ridiculous.

Onwards and upwards!

How do you even entertain the idea that calling a pediatrician a pedo is ok

He sounds horrid and dim. Don't give him another thought.

Exactly!

I'd be tempted to say something along the lines of "given that you repeatedly brought up paedophiles on our first date.....there won't be a second one."

@brackenbury absolutely call him out!
Tell him he is childish and ignorant and horrible .
That you would never go on a second date

This 💯

As a man reading this, I'm horrified - what a dick - but I guess my question would be why you stayed after he went down that road.

It shows he has a complete lack of sense and education in acceptable behaviour.

As to going forward, just ignore, he's not worth your valuable time.

And thanks for the much appreciated good work you do!

Paediatricians do an amazing job. Often in extremely difficult circumstances. You want to be with someone who builds you up not makes puerile jokes.

There is nothing funny about child abuse and calling someone a paedo could have serious implications to their job, let alone it just not being even vaguely funny.

Dump and move on. Or ghost and move on. He’s not worth the time of day.