Awful date. Tried to embarrass me the whole evening...

[brackenbury]

Is it really that bad out there? I went on a date last Friday and I'm still pissed about this issue - largely, because he had the nerve to follow up and try again.

We were talking prior to meeting for a fair 2-3 weeks prior to Summer commitments making an actual date in person a bit tough. He seemed perfectly normal/lovely.

I work as a Dr - and he asked me (on the date) exactly what kind of Dr I am. I told him a paediatrician (which is the truth).

He then - for the rest of the evening, proceeded to laugh at me and kept calling me a 'pedo' - due to it sounding similar to me being a paediatrician. I didn't laugh, but scoffed a bit initially. Then he kept going on and on and on - to the point where he wouldn't let up! I was mortified. It felt like he just crapped all over my work - which is tough at the best of time - but also like he was trying to take me down a peg or 10.

Needless to say, I left the date not wanting to see him again.

He then started texting me over the weekend and shortening the name to 'P' - to make it seem 'cute' and less offensive.

Honestly, I give up. I've had a few years of enormous grief and stress - and decided to try dating again, but I'm irrationally disenchanted.

He wants to go on a second date. I know I should just block and move on, but part of me wants to respond to him and let him know that he needs to grow up and stop being so juvenile. Should I not bother?

He's 43 years old, FFS!! I know this is a petty reason to post - but I'm just irritated that I wasted my time.

I just read your other posts, sorry I didn’t see them before. I’m so very sorry you lost your dad and boyfriend.

With regards to his comment ‘where do you work’ yes, that’s intrusive, not asking for another date. I understand why you blocked him. It’s up to you if you want to be honest, some people aren’t worth bothering with. It’s a shame he won’t learn from your feedback, but that’s not your problem!

I hope you can try what I suggested. I promise you, I had had as bad dates :( When I made my decision about it helped me to very quickly know what I thought of people and then honesty changed everything too.

I can give you an example, when I met my now husband for a daytime weekend date, I hoped he’d text me that night. He didn’t and in the morning, I messaged: ‘I really enjoyed meeting you, I must say I’m surprised you haven’t messaged me.’ It was true, it created connection.

So sorry again about your experience with this man. Wishing you the best! xx

What a freak !!!!

And to answer your question OP , old can be painful 🙈..
Don’t give up though , lots of asses, but good guys out there too ..
Hope you meet someone nice 🤞

Just out of curiosity, what made you stay through the date with that wet paper towel of a human being?

You have every right to turn around to someone who is insulting you and ask them if they intended that to be insulting and when they say it’s a joke ask them to explain how it’s funny.

This guy was basically calling you a child abuser. Which isn’t funny and is not something to joke about.

Id tell him exactly why you aren’t interested and then block him. He’s a twat. He isn’t deserving to be in your air space.

It is no easy feat to become a medical doctor and you should be immensely proud of yourself. He was intimidated by you. I hope you find someone lovely who treats you right.

100%, so important to be honest

I think my now DH is either autistic or has ADHD, but he wasn't a twat on our first date!

This, with bells on

Block him…soz i’ve only read your initial post,
but really, even if he were King there will still be all this in the background! There’s not a single thing he can do to remove all that utter sh1te (i never swear on here!) from history.
Better luck with the next 1 😊

That man sounds absolutely horrendous. Nothing remotely funny about his "joke". Simply offensive. I hope your next date is with a gentleman and not another immature boy.

😂 this ☝️

Well, clearly his knowledge of Greek is lacking - WHY exactly does he THINK Paediatrician and paedophile have similar sounding beginnings? Two seconds of thought would bring him to a conclusion but he's jumped to the 'humorous' one...

Sounds a bit like my ex. Who thought that anything to do with women, or their bodies was absolutely hysterical and the word 'period' would have him giggling for hours. Some men are just stuck at the age of twelve unfortunately.

Definitely never see him again. Paedo is NOT A laughing matter particularly for someone like you that has gone through years of training and the horrible things you must have witnessed in the course of your work. If anything he should be totally in awe of what you do x

'If anything he should be totally in awe of what you do'. I think that may have been part of the problem.

Some People are so dense and thoughtless! I remember a paediatrician being targeted by total thicko idiots who assumed the person was paedophile because of the paws prefix - I’d say blow him off he’s a twat!

Honestly ? Block, I wouldn’t give this fuckwit the time of day. Paediatric doctors have been harassed and threatened by ignorant shits like this who couldn’t tell the difference between Pedophile and Paediatrician. Don’t waste your breath on him

I understand that you're upset, OP, that you've wasted an evening with an absolute loser- but it was just an evening. Not 10 years. The world is full of idiots.

Low level IQ. To be blunt you can do better and I suspect he knows that too, hence the need to belittle you. Waste of space.
Throw this one back and cast your line again.

Especially over and over. Dumb, gross, and insulting.

how about a "Mate, I thought my exit at dinner and silence since made it clear there is a compatibility issue here. Thank you for a revealing evening and best of luck finding someone who’s actually on your wavelength"

then block and let him decide for himself what it means

Block him! He's threatened that you have a more important job than him (regardless of if he earns more than you there's very little jobs more important than life saver of children)

Wow. You did the right thing blocking him. If he's like this on date 1, when he's supposed to be putting his best self forward to impress you, can you even imagine what he'd be like six months in to a relationship?!

“No sorry, I didn’t enjoy the date and thought you were a bit of a bellend”

This is a great response.

Id also add something about having more compassion - I mean what would possess someone to joke about such a subject.

that bloke is pond life.

"Supposedly intelligent" is quite insulting thing to say to a trained medical professional.

Of course she is giving it some headspace to process what happened and why... it must have been a horrible experience and there's nothing wrong with asking others if this is standard or not.. and how to deal with it if it happens again.

Also she's merely updated with his message.

I'm sure she will quickly move on

If he knows your full name Google /LinkedIn may tell him where you work..

I would have told him what I thought about the date in one paragraph before blocking, yes I know we're not in the business of educating men but calling a paediatrician a "pedo" is not funny AT ALL (it's quite offensive actually, disturbing and creepy). Had you had a long video call (sort of a virtual date) with him before meeting in person I'm sure you would have picked up on the red flags.