To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

What is the income from the BTL spent on, because that makes a big difference.

For example, who pays for the main weekly shop & buys the kids school uniforms & shoes? If the BTL is funding these, then the money will have to come from somewhere. But if you’re spending all the money on yourself, then that’s not really fair on him - especially if he’s doing all the work.

This doesn't sound like a very good team oriented marriage. What has he said about the fact you will have no income if he sells? How does he expect you to live? Does he expect you to go back to work? If so has he taken in to account the costs of childcare? Why haven't you sat down and discussed all this?

If I’m understanding this correctly, what he’s proposing will mean that your overall household monthly income falls.

And instead of you having spending money, he is redirecting that income to facilitate his early retirement?

How do your household finances work atm? Is there enough money in the pot, to push some around so that your spending money is replaced? Or are you just supposed to do without?

What was that money covering? Purely your own expenses or things for the dc too?

You’re in a strong bargaining position if the property is in your name and there should definitely be equitable discussion and decisions around finances. And certainly open communication.

I can’t really figure out if you’re unreasonably entitled or living in a gilded cage, but if you’re going to end up being pushed out to work against your will, you might as well consider whether you’d prefer to be divorced or not too.

Your DH has a point. With the energy efficiency requirements for tenancies and the Renters Reform Act, it is only going to get more difficult and expensive to have BTLs. If you already can't cope with managing it, it isn't fair to expect your DH to do so as well as work full time. Sell it and have a discussion about how best to use the proceeds - maybe a proportion to give you and income and the remainder on the mortgage.

If it's an HMO then you need an agent. Tenants can be a right pain and are better dealt with at arm's length.

It sounds like your DH is tired, looking for a solution to an earlier retirement.

A second PT income would definitely be a solution.

Do you plan to return to employment when the DC attend secondary school.

if DC all in school you could work and replace that income. There are part time roles and wrap around care. Many families have 2 working parents and manage to raise well adjusted adults - I did.

And is that enjoyable and how much time do you spend with your children and do you ever feel disconnected from them as though they do not listen to you?

I'm a working parent. Just not full-time. I couldn't be the parent I would want to be as I don't have the bandwidth.

Do you?

I have had many full-time jobs and wouldn't find being a full-time parent compatible.

So you do one job (sahm) and you DH does his full time role plus fully managing the BTL - which you admit is time consuming and he’s probably had enough

Can you see how that isn’t fair? If your kids are at school you have ample time to take the BTL off his shoulders and justify keeping it

You don’t want to work again do you?

It sounds like he is defo going to sell. Your kids are all in school so if you want income, get a job..?

I'm bot being goady. She is in a position to be a full-time and present parent and contributes to the household in many other ways.

Posts saying she should 'get a job' are goady.

I think you use childcare and are exhausted and stressed.

She says there is an estate agent. But I would argue that if you think you're so far above your tenants that you shouldn't even have to talk to them you have no business being a landlord.

If he is working full time and having to manage BTLs whilst you are at home whilst the kids are at school it seems reasonable to me that he would think that is unfair. Seems sensible to sell and reduce the mortgage before rules on rentals get more stringent.

So you think you're entitled to not work and have £1000s in play money every month, but your DH has to work full time, manage the property and you have a problem with him wanting to retire early??? How selfish! Put your foot down if you want OP, but I'd be divorcing you pretty swiftly if I was him.

Parenting school age children isn’t a full time job. They’re at school 30hrs a week, how can it possibly be full time.

There’s no such thing as a full time parent. The kids aren’t available to be parented full time.

So you're upset that your spending money is being cut off to start paying off the mortgage? It's not financial freedom, it's dependence and being unwilling to change your cushy set up to actually gain true financial freedom by working.
Many mums of primary age children work. Wraparound care exists. Side hustle type businesses exist. Night shifts exist.

Since when is it goady to suggest working if you want money? She's got hours a day spare, she can do something with them.

So what is your DH proposing you do for your spending money?

Is there a medical reason you can’t manage the BTL? Your children are at primary school so you have a lot of free time. Your husband manages a full time job and the management of the BTL, so I’m struggling to see how this can be too much work if he’s doing it whilst holding down a job.

Why don’t you try and get a part time job for some spending money? I assume he is paying into a pension for you. It seems only fair for him to be able to retire early and spend more time with the family.

But school finishes at 3:30 and begins at 9am so you can only ever work 10-2. What's the point?

I think he is hoping OP gets a job.
He is dropping hints. 👀

Sorry you need a job. Children are in school you dont actually do anything to help maintain this property you just spend the money! It isn't yours as you said your husband owned it prior to marriage.