To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

Thank god it’s not a glossy Mad Men fantasy because no one in their right mind would wish for Bett Draper’s miserable life.

@Nosdoc good luck! I’m sure you’ll do brilliantly and you’ll all be better off for it.

Hence the " "

Wife implies equal partnership, which this is not.

Glad I’m not the only one who saw that lifestyle as a cautionary tale and not something to aspire to!

Are you taking the piss?
You realise you need to do more, so you'll increase the cleaners' hours?

(Edit: needed to pluralise the cleaners, as op did - so there's more than one!)

I assume once she has a job

Ah OK. I didn't connect the dots... my bad!
Of course with a part-time job you definitely need to up the hours of your multiple cleaners 🙄

She will be contributing in other ways besides financial. I bet he doesn't lift a finger with the children, the meals, the day to day household chores, the running around picking up dry cleaning etc. He is benefiting from this. He agreed to it. He shouldn't arbitrarily change the rules 100% in his favour just because he can

I know plenty of families who operate like this. Yes, top of their game. My daughter works in an upmarket nursery and it is full of families like this too. Not saying every top of their game dad is like this but plenty are. And loads of them live in huge houses where they want a stay at home wife to manage everything. I don't understand why some people think these families don't exist.

OP hasn't mentioned any of that. So you don't know. And perhaps selling this BTL will help balance the load further.

I don't know what sort of circles you move in but this is a very old fashioned set up that staggeringly few can afford.
And even if a family has been run like this, they are allowed to change things. Men financing a life of leisure isn't a contractual thing, they are allowed to make lifestyle changes.

OP has not mentioned that DH doesn't lift a finger. Considering that DH does even the admin that's in OPs name and provides OPs income, because it's too much for OP, it doesn't sound like DH is a man who just sits on his backside.

It's like something out of a time machine!

I know a lot of high earners "at the top of their game" etc (I am one myself) and they are all married to other high earners. I don't know any SAHMs getting the pipe and slippers ready or whatever.

I can't believe you think that a couple agrees to a particular set up where he earns a huge salary and she doesn't and they decide she will stay at home and run the household, making it possible for him to concentrate on his career...and that because he is the wage earner this gives him carte blanche to pull the financial rug any time he likes.

They are both benefiting from one parent at home.

There is a lot of projection on this thread. And a lot of assumptions.

she has a cleaner kids are in school and they prob have a nanny how does she contribute other then using the credit card to fund a lavish lifestyle and cant work Incase she breaks a nail

There's no rug to be pulled. It's a very selfish women who would insist their high earning DH work overtime so they don't have to lift a finger all day. It's 2025, women can work and men can share the housework. Thankfully OP is more reasonable than you and they have reached a mutually agreeable compromise.

They are SAHMs yet your daughter minds the kids in her nursery. So they are not with their mother.

I know families like this and yes, as you pointed out they usually have significant help. I know a couple who have a full time nanny, a cleaner & a gardener.

They are the exception not the rule, and the mother is usually a lady who lunches not a put upon SAHM.

If the flats in your name how will he force you to sell it?
Have you asked how he will finance your income after the sale?

She really doesn’t.

same difference,

A husband is her wife's man, a wife is her husband's woman, a daughter is her parents' child blah blah.

Woke BS is killing us

I’m surprised anyone would see it as aspirational?? Poor Betty was just stuck in a marriage she couldn’t really get out of with a man who cheated on her at every turn.

Even Joan was constantly subject to disgusting remarks by men. The show did a great job at portraying what women had to put up with.

Peggy is my girl, probably one of my favourite characters of all time.

High earning families with a housewife and the children attend upmarket nursery too? How’s that work
So if the children are at nursery,how is the housewife saying she’s too busy with childcare and tasks to be employed. If the children attend nursery what’s the mum doing?

There are kids at the nursery full time whose family have a full time nanny AND the mother doesn't work!

These people truly exist.

The father usually has a massive income and they find it convenient to have a nanny for the younger ones, for nursery drop off, for the evenings, for the weekends and holidays.

The wife is continually pregnant and nursing babies.

They have cleaners too of course.

The phrase I objected to was actually kept woman. I hadn’t wanted to repeat it because I find it objectionable.

In my experience, with men like you around women are safer when they remain wide awake.