To ask DH to keep our BTL

[Nosdoc]

We own a BTL property that generates a decent income for me - it’s set up so that most of the income is directed to me. DH plans to refurbish and sell the property and us the proceeds to pay of the mortgage on our house. All very sensible but as I don’t work, the BTL is my only source of income. DH doesn’t plan on reducing the monthly payments on our mortgage, but he is going to reduce the term, so we won’t see any immediate benefit from lower repayments. I am feeling distressed because this money provides me with considerable financial freedom.

My husband is refusing to discuss and has told me the plan to sell is final.

But now you own it and he cannot sell it without your signature on the paperwork. He must have realised this when he signed it over to you. That it was his home before you married makes no difference. It's a) owned by you and b) you are a team and you make decisions jointly. If he wants you to go back to work and pay nursery fees then he should say so - the income from the BTL should cover nursery nicely. Talk to him properly.

You aren't answering questions OP. How old are the children? I am guessing they are older if your husband is looking to retire. In which case don't you think it is time you starting contributing by finding a job.

And yet working parents do all of those things, on top of their actual full time jobs!😂

If you think keeping a house clean and cooking meals is a full time job you may want to try you know.. an actual full time job. Or maybe don’t, you’d get a bloody awful shock

So the property was his, but the majority of the ownership was transferred to you so you could take advantage of your lower rate of tax?

It sounds like its become a burden on him, and the income isn't worth the hassle. I'm a bit concerned about your lack of agency in all this, but if he manages it in conjunction with a FT job, I can understand what he is saying given that you don't have scope.

I think people could give a fairer response if you could provide a greater insight into your FTM status, i.e. how many, what ages, schools/nursery etc.

You need a poper grown up conversation with dh. What is the plan?
Do you have access to the joint household income he earns?
If he's playing trick then you need to earn your own income to have your own money. Although legally you own everything 50 50. Maybe take legal advice here op

Working parents do all of those things, with a tighter schedule. 😆

So he works,pays all the bills, the house was his before you met him.
You haven’t put anything in,don’t work,don’t pay any bills and want the free money for spends….ok then.

Because you are trapped and need to find a way out and that includes getting a job at least around school hours

The compromise might be you taking on the day to day management & financials to release him from the burden & agreeing an amount to overpay the mortgage each month - with a bit from both the house proceeds and his wages.

You both make a small sacrifice to achieve compromise and a shared goal.

So what does DH think you will use for your spending when the BTL is sold?
You haven't mentioned that at all in this thread.

I lived in a medium HMO (4 people) and it cost us £4.5k a month collectively.

They pull in fair chunks of money

'A decent income for me' 'gives me considerable financial freedom' 'he pays the bills, this is just for spending'

This sounds like lots of money - and provides you purely with discretionary spending.

I can understand that he wants to retire early to improve his life, and selling this particular BTL (not the others you have) will help him achieve this.

It does seem fair that he too would like to spend time with family/at home.

I do wonder what your lifestyle looks like compared to his.

I find it quite telling that the ages of DC aren't being mentioned in any of the OPs replies - this makes me think that DC are at least school age which means OP could work if she wanted to (unless there was a medical reason, which I think she would have mentioned).

I am not bashing SAHM in the slightest - I think it is a lot of work. But the vast majority of us have to juggle all the usual parental duties with our jobs. If OP is losing the income stream from a property that her DH owned before he met her I think it would be prudent for her to get a job. If anything it shows how dependent she is on her DP financially and she might want to make sure she has her own income stream which isn't dependent on her OH.

Dealing with tax and agents and maintenance is not a big deal. I do it for property I own. He can't sell your share of the property. Just because it was his doesn't alter that most of it is now yours so he could save on tax (and you should check the legality of the tax arrangement he has set up, btw).
But the whole thing is fishy. Why does he want to sell a capital asset that will increase in value to reduce mortgage on the house you live in down the line. Is there something he is hiding? Debts, unpaid tax (HMRC never give up), gambling debts, or an affair going on and this is his way of securing 'his' money before the divorce?

If they're all in school why on earth can't you manage a job or even manage the BTL yourself?
You can't do nothing all day forever. Help your DH carry the financial load.

TBH, managing an HMO that you yourself own seems like an ideal job to fit around school hours.

OP, when have you planned to go back to work? And do you think it'll work around the kids?

Unless you join the army or work on an oil rig you can still see your children every day and work.

Managing a HMO with children who are at school 30 hours a week is one of the easiest sources of income I can imagine.

Sorry but if it was his house before you got married I can see why he wants to get rid of it. Especially if all the work managing it falls to him AND he’s also paying off a mortgage.

I think you either need to go back to work (in which case he may well end up paying for some childcare) or agree that he transfers some of his salary to you for personal spending- on the basis that he agrees to you remaining a SAHM. Personally I’d get a job in your position.

He can't sell without your say so.

If youre getting the income im surprises youre not doing the admin? Offer to do that as it's the work that generates the income.

Otherwise youre better off talking to him about it than us, it'll have to be a joint decision anyway. I'm not sure what you think we can add?

Get a job. Stop being a sponger.

I’d be intrigued whether the “spending” coming from the HMO money is all personal spends or whether the food shop and things for the kids etc comes out of it.

If your personal budget, fully disposable and not part of the costs of raising primary aged kids, is a few thousand a month - you’ve been very lucky for a very long time.

I reckon I could manage a HMO between 9 and 3. Given that I manage a whole business 8-5 (and the rest) around a disabled child.

Some people don’t know they’re born 😂

So you think he shouldn’t sell it and carry on working with no early retirement so that you don’t have to work?

It really doesn't sound like they need the extra money for OP going back to work.

It sounds like there is more than enough income, but they need to have a conversation about how it is distributed fairly.

I think saying school age children "need their mother" and therefore you can't work is a bit of a cop out. My husband and I both work, that doesn't mean either of our kids have unmet needs as far as parenting goes...if you're saying children "need their mother" (not to work) then you are effectively ruling women with children out of the workforce.

On a separate note, you could certainly manage to take on the work of running the HMO - it sounds like you just don't want to do anything?

If he wants to sell and for you to get a job then he will have to step up majorly at home to allow you to work. I think both of you are being a little unreasonable, the management of it must be a heavy burden on him, can you employ someone to do it? There's nothing stopping you from working by the sounds of it, if he gives up dealing with it etc could you compromise on you hiring an agent to manage it?