To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

Bizarre.

no one has been saying “babes” but you have just randomly started

odd

Yes, as I explained, I meant eat before he comes and I also feed my kids early so that the kids can play while the adults eat.

It was one of many suggestions I made in order to try and accomodate nephew

So you missed that too.

I think you’ve missed quite a lot of things on this thread. You’re very determined to paint OP as some sort of evil witch, when in reality, she’s asking for help to make things as easy as possible for everyone.

It's literally in the post I quoted, babes. And subsequently, in the one you quoted.

Try reading the things you quote, babes.

Feel a bit queasy actually.

You never indicated all the children eat first, why wouldn’t you be kind enough to allow your DN to eat pizza with his cousins, when they eat?

Instead of him “being fed” before he comes?

I mean they could all Chow down on their food at the same time?

Go and have a litte lie down then, you'll feel much better after a rest and you might find it helps your reading and comprehension skills too.

Yes, that's also an option and a great idea. Thank you

I often make different things to suit different family members when I cook for them. I think you should do that.
Just put everything on the table including the roast and the pizzas and let them choose what they prefer. I think you are making it more.complcated than it needs to be

Plesse don’t think your PA isn’t shining through…

Thanks for your thanks though hun!

Oh yes!

JustSawJohnny · Today 16:53

Would you like your nephew to be less autistic for your meal time convenience?
I don't think it really works like that, babes.

AIBU

POLL

YABU - 79%

YANBU - 21%

OP no i am not being unreasonable 🤦‍♀️

Channel some of that feistiness in to those wretched parents that don’t reciprocate play dates that you were whinging about a few days ago! 😆

😆

I know you've said differently in the comments but the OP does make it seem like you begrudged nephew having a pizza, your kids having to eat the roast because he was allowed something different and sister not making him at least try the roast.

It sounds like you didn't know he was autistic until that point though? Did sister just rock up with a pizza, put it in the oven and say that nephew is autistic and that was the first you've heard of it?

Roast for the adults, delivery pizza for the kids so no oven door opening.

Adults at the table kids watching a film with pizza. Everyone comes together for a film.

It’ll be great and both the kids and adults will be able to enjoy time together.

I get the impression the Op wasnt expecting a pizza to be cooked at all.
Her children didn't seem to understand why their cousin might need something different to eat. There was no communication about when she would add the pizza to the oven.

Which rather leaves me thinking either the Op thought
a) he'd eaten alone earlier as she had suggested or
b) he would join the family meal but he wasn't going to eat at all.

Neither reflects well.

You do know a MN vote isn't legally binding?

You're excluding c) – what actually happened. She called her sister and mum and offered to make a roast and her sister didn't mention a word that her DS wouldn't want to eat it. OP was unaware until the pizza appeared in the oven on top of the parsnips.

Nobody would be allowed to come into my kitchen and open the oven door.

OP have you thought about a stair gate?

Is It not? Did I say it was? Why wouldn’t it be?

But do you ask a question, ask people to vote, ask people their opinions and then go….. you’re all wrong?

It makes you wonder why OP asked for opinions? Doesn’t it?