To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

She “snuck” in, you really think she was trying to hide the pizza?

This gets weirder and weirder….

gravy granules

I think OP may have jumped the shark here.

Unrespectful isn’t a word, you know that right? Don’t just spring new words on us without checking.

I get it. When we have guests, dh can be a helpful sous chef, but I don't even like it when he starts doing his own thing while I'm preparing a meal, and less so if he decides to add something to the menu and use up hob or oven space.

I think in your shoes, I would do pizza for the children and roast for everyone else as suggested.

Could you heat the pizza while the lamb is resting?

She's definitely telling you porkies about Yorkies (in Aus)!! Lol there's also brit specialty shops that sell British products. But yup Coles and woolies have an aisle dedicated to brit products (including gravy) + Yorkies in the freezer section.

I won't be doing LAMB in OCTOBER!!! 😱😱😱

But I usually do all the sides, veggie options etc while the meat rests. It was while this was happening that the pizza was pit in last time and she balanced it on the veg.

We'll figure it out, I'm sure :) I think I'm going to go with the ordering pizza option and give nephew the one he likes so I only need to fit one in. I've got an airfryer now, which I didn't have last time, so I should be fine.

Oh chill out OP!

It doesn't hurt your dc to be taught that other children sometimes have different rules. And if they really can't cope with that, it doesn't hurt for them to have pizza as a one-off: take your pick.

Honestly, this isn't about the pizza is it?

Surely you don’t ruin your spectacular roast with gravy granules? 😮

I don't personally use them, no.

She BALANCED IT ON THE VEG!!! 😱

Bring me my smelling salts!!!

Truly op, enjoying a meal with family from abroad is far more important than the amount of time the lamb rested, or how the veg were cooked or anything else.

This is either a major control freak issue or you and your Dsis have big baggage.

Right on top of my honey and mustard parsnips!

I had to open my expensive gin.

Exactly. Its a good lesson for children that sometimes you don't want them doing what other children are doing just because they are allowed.

Anyway, have you checked op? He might now only eat roasts and "uncompromised yorkshires" in which case, you're in luck.

My youngest wouldn't eat a roast either, just how he is. His siblings would anything you put in front of them. What can you do?

Sorry but if the kid wants pizza just buy one and stick it in the oven.
This means your sister doesn't have to come do it.
He is not gonna be nagged into eating something he doesn't like.
If I am served one I just eat the potatoes but that's OK for an adult, a12yr old boy, not so much.

At no point did I make even the most remote suggestion that nephew should eat the roast or that I will try to nag him into eating the roast.

I acknowledge he doesnt eat roasts. I said why I don't want to do him pizza, maybe stick to those reasons and say why you disagree with them instead of making up situations like him being nagged into eating the roast, which isn't going to be attempted and was never spoken of until you said it.

It's all mute anyway by now because I've been given helpful suggestions and will do one of those.

Just cook the bloody roast!

I’d not want to visit if you were my sister. Clearly you don’t understand your nephews needs and how incredibly hard it is parenting a child who is autistic. Would you rather he starved? She didn’t ask you to provide the pizza, it had no impact on you whatsoever.
Don’t make an issue over this. Let all the kids eat pizza. Make it fun that they want to return and cousins build a relationship. It’s one meal. Don’t be that person.

Ignore her, she's the one who is causing the problem. You can all eat pizza and she can have a roast another day, maybe with another family member who's willing to faff about with pizzas and roast at the same time.

it had no impact on you whatsoever.

I did actually already explain why it did have an impact on me. She opened the oven door while the yorkshires were in, so they didn't rise properly. Then she sat her son two feet away from my kids and his other cousins letting him eat pizza which made it very difficult for me to encourage them to eat the food I'd just spent hours cooking and which was healthy, and made it difficult for the parents of the other kids there, who were also annoyed.
It was a rude and inconsiderate thing to do in someone else's house when that person is putting in a lot of time and effort cooking a meal for you and in your honour. Can you honestly say that you would go into someone's kitchen while they were cooking for you and put in a pizza in their oven?
I wasn't given any context or explanation so at the time, it felt insulting too.
All I needed was a little heads up and a bit of courtesy.
But now I know and have been given helpful advice, the kids can have pizza next time

Anything you can cook alongside the roast that the nephew will eat? I add something like macaroni cheese when there is kid with restricted eating visiting

In fairness OP you have made no effort to reply to any post except those which agree with you. While giving a tinkly little laugh I imagine.

Hello, fellow teacher 😀
Oops. I thought disrespectful didn't look right!

That is very far from the truth. I have replied to lots of posts, both those that agree with me and those that don't. I can only assume you only got as far as the one you are quoting.

Moot, not mute