To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

This is your sister who don't see all the time. Chill out it is only food and I love food

Not yours thanks. Too with too much martyrdom and resentment.

Aunt Bessie’s fine for me thanks

This whole thread makes it sound like both OP and her sister are trying to make "obsession with roasts" their defining personality trait, like people who endlessly wang on about tea or milk first of how to put jam and cream on a scone 😂

So when you going to tell us the back story with your sister op.

Golden child?
Your husband flirts with her?

Maybe you should go chill over a nice roast! Why the continual nastiness?

The people saying roasts are easy and simple are clearly cooking the most boring, bland uninspired roast dinners ever that no-one looks forward to.

Boring sides, barely any flavour or seasoning and a load of Aunt Bessie's shite. Most of you are probably using those frozen roasties you can get in a bag as well as your frozen yorkshires shudder

Keep up the decent food, OP! your family are lucky to have you!

Last time you had no notice about the pizza issue. This time you do have notice. So have the discussion with sister - tell her you've got the pizza and its all under control and you be in charge of when it goes in the oven so you don't overlap with Yorkshire cooking.

I think this is a good opportunity for your own kids to learn about neurodivergence and difficulties that autistic children can have.

My brother is autistic and there was a period of my childhood where he ate pretty much only plain spaghetti, marmite sandwiches and pancakes. I don't remember fighting my parents about wanting to eat the same as him, I just knew he was different and they were his special foods, and that was that.

Your sister was way out of line shoving a pizza in your already full oven.
Personally, having had that experience, I would be saying that it's someone else's turn to host and provide a Sunday roast.
The issue isn't with your nephew needing a different very specific meal, but the way in which that meal was sprung on you. Unrespectful.

I'm still a bit confused about why the response couldn't be "Sure, I am happy to cook this roast you love and to accommodate nephew, but this year, let's time the pizza cooking so that you don't fuck up my Yorkshires."

This sounds like a nice option

She wants to though

Well don’t then! Although we have heard about loving cooking roasts and seasonal eating? 4am roasts are not an issue, blah blah….

I really don’t think OP will be happy with pizzas, too much conflicting info for that.

Very annoying.

I would tell her I'll be in charge of heating up his pizza and to give it to me. Tell the kids they don't get pizza, they can have theirs later, special treat.

PLEASE! How do you cook your yorkshires? I've never had a success 😥

Because I see a woman visiting from Australia with her autistic son

She knows how important it is for the OP to cook the roast. She doesn’t want to put her sister out so she came to the Uk and found the specific pizza her son eats, bought it, bought it with her.

She opened the oven up without out consulting the OP. I mean…. I’m an aunt Bessie gal so perhaps I’m reading this wrong but does opening the over actually make the yorkies inedible?

and now I suspect that because she knows how much the OP organsms over roast cooking… she’s just said “oh please do one of your special roasts” but push come to shove.., she doesn’t given a flying fig!

Unless I've missed any of the OPs I don't see her making any reference to her nephews disability. There was a post about missing an opportunity to educate her own children and yet she focused on something else when quoting it.

If you are right, and she really doesn't give a flying fig about having a roast, why hasn't the sister responded with "Great idea!" when OP has said let's just have pizzas for everyone this time. Surely she'd want her sister to have a break from cooking and to just chuck something easy in the oven for them all so they have more time to sit around catching up? Why, if she really doesn't give a flying fig, has she protested and sent their mother in as a flying monkey to say "But sister really wants a roast!"

And whatever you "suspect" still doesn't justify the nastiness.

Roast for adults and pizza for all kids. Easy. It ones meal. Chill out.

Here's the thing...one CAN cook a roast dinner in Australia!! Everything is available - meat, veges, you can even easily buy brit gravy granules and Yorkies from Coles/woolies, but there's even flour and eggs if you want to make them (Yorkies) from scratch. Gift her her own (personalized) Yorkie tin to take back to Aus! Have a candid conversation with you dsis is a asap: dsis, how do you envisage this meal working?

I suppose DSIS envisaged putting her autistic DSs pizza in just ahead of serving time? I mean it’s hardly a big deal?

I don’t know any child who would pick pizza over roast. I suppose you could ask them in advance what they would prefer.

You've literally made up an entire narrative in your head.

You don't know my sister and you don't know anything about any of the situation other than what I've told you.

You've stereotyped her massively into a chilled aussie chick who's just going to laugh everything off when you know nothing of the sort and you've decided that I am some weirdo who watches roast dinner porn or something.

The reality is that she is pining for home. She wants the roast and the familiarity of family cooking. Her mental health isn't great, she's actually probably ND herself, I want to give that to her because I love her. I also want to accomodate my nephew because I love him. She has not accepted the options I gave her. I came here for advice. I was given some great ideas (some of them pretty obvious, I admit) so I will go back to her with fresh suggestions and everything will probably be fine.

But if you are enjoying your completely made up fairytale where I am the wicked ugly step sister and she is the Aussie princess trapped in my Yorkshire tin, then you feel free to go on with that, it's nothing to me.

And just in case you are interested, you can't open the oven door on yorkshires because the sudden drop in temperature and loss of steam from opening the door can hinder the batter's expansion and cause the already risen puddings to collapse.

Sister knows this because our mum taught us all how to cook in the same way. She was being inconsiderate and I told her this, the way sisters do.

I don’t know how she made her way into the kitchen, decanted the pizza and put it in the oven without you realising?

Had she kept the chilled pizza in her handbag rather than the fridge?

She told me you can't get gravy granules and that the aussies don't know what she's talking about when she mentions them. I shall have to tell her this!

Yes, pizza in a carrier bag she bought with her. She deviously snuck it in while my back was turned. I spun round to see my yorkies being compromised and a random pizza just balanced on top of my honey and mustard roasted parsnips. The bloody cheek of it.

Carvery 🤢