To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

I have two autistic kids. I would love OP for a sister. She clearly loves having family over and goes to the end of the Earth to make sure everything is amazing for them.

I would just be more considerate of my sister and discuss my children's needs before hand as clearly, she doesn't know what they are and needs to be prepared for them. Ignorance is not a crime . I could argue that dumping this on someone clearly busy busting butt for everyone else is inconsiderate and intolerant though.

Just as a vegan or veggie wouldn't turn up to someone's house and shove a nutroast in their oven uninvited, I wouldn't do the same for my autistic kids and their safe foods. I'd discuss with the host, like a normal person.

Because she seems to care more about the presentation of her previous roadt than her nephew that's why. Telling her sister to feed him before they come!!

Give all kids pizza. Not rocket science.

So how did your sister respond when you told her that opening the oven to put her pizza in had ruined your Yorkshire puds?

Is there a reason why you can't ask her to give you the pizza next time so you can put it in the oven without ruining your puds?

JFC, the hyperbole and crocodile tears on this thread are off the scale. OP's nephew isn't a starving orphan forced to watch everyone tuck into a roast dinner while he is starving. She is happy for him to have pizza and sugggested that she cooked pizza for everyone. Her sister objected to that as she wanted a roast.

How is saying I will do pizza for everyone lacking in understanding or tolerance?

What an odd post. Why not be relaxed about it? If kids don't want the roast, let them all eat pizza and put out cut up carrots/cucumbers and fruit. The people that want the roast can have it. Why make a big deal about something that is not really a big deal? Some kids can't eat certain foods. My son gags when trying to eat certain textures. Thankfully he loves a roast :) But chopped onions in sauces is a big no (I puree his sauce) and fruit he won't eat either (unless pureed). He has tried, really tried. But literally gags and almost vomits each time. Whenever friends or family comes I take dietary restrictions, likes or dislikes into account. Recently we had a family over and their children were picky. So I made sure to include stuff they liked and adults ate something else.

She has suggested that to her sister and her sister said that she expected a roast.

Explain to the children why nephew has pizza, and that they will have a slice (from another pizza) for tea. So they understand the situation. Kids can be very understanding when they're told something.

In the kindest way, I don’t think this is really an issue. I would just do pizza for the kids and roast for the adults. I think it’s fine for your sister to plonk a pizza in the oven for her kid without a prior convo.

OP, I think you sound lovely. You are a
saint cooking for that many people!

I don’t think so - OP said she loves cooking for people so she is not necessarily being a martyr or taking one for the team. She is doing something she loves.

I appreciate OP is being a bit tongue in cheek but there is clearly some resentment!
Autism is tough and clearly there has been some breakdown in communication between OP and her sister. Seems harsh to refuse to cook for her sister because her son is autistic and won’t eat roasts - where is the consideration for her/his situation.
Definitely, on the team pizza for kids and roasts for adults.

Why have a slice for tea? I think it's fine for the adults to have a roast and the children to have a pizza.
It's once a year for her sister and nephew coming all the way from Australia.

Of course it was a bloody joke. People make jokes like this around food and cooking all the time. Have you seen the debates online about the correct order to put cream and jam on a scone? or whether pineapple goes on pizza? People say silly things like "sacrilege!" and "you belong in prison!" regularly. It's very clearly not serious.

(It's jam first by the way, and absolutely not to pineapple on pizza, you psychos)

And this - if they are old enough and don’t have SEN (and are brought up well!), they will understand.

oop are we flipping between usernames?

"Dear sis. Looking forward no end to seeing you. Happy to do pizza for DN. But please understand me very clearly: if you so much as look at the oven when the Yorkshires are in, I will rend you. Love, OP"

From the OP, she doesn't sound very happy for him to have pizza.

She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

Let the kid eat the fucking pizza. As mentioned, that kind of eating can be a feature of ASD.

You put it in the oven at a time of your choosing.

Ok. No need to get angry. I'm just remarking on her post.
Have a nice day.

this is you OP

Yorkshire puds should be served whenever gravy is present!

Why does kids having pizza mean the adults can't still have roast? And op hasn't suggested that I don't think, she's suggested nephew eats before he comes but her sister doesn't want him excluded, quite naturally.

Why don’t you all order pizza at yours where you can comfortably sit and chat, have a drink etc. Then you could book a table at a lovely place nearby, for another day, that does a fabulous British carvery to satisfy your sisters need. Find one that also serves pizza….. one near me does actually

She said it’s too many pizzas to cook whilst she’s doing the love and care roast, which starts at 4am!