Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

i don’t think it’s the horrific thing that some people are saying it is …. I personally wouldn’t have said anything .
At six you need to be teaching her that pants areas are private and not to be dropped in carparks(and no it wasn’t empty car park or the mean old lady would not have said anything)

however , you are being totally unreasonable by saying you had made it “all the way across the car park” and “struggling to put three bags in the boot” 🤭🤭🤭

I mean it gave me a laugh, but come on , I very much doubt you were more then a few steps away from the supermarket - not many are known for the expedition from the car park to the front door 🫣

chalk it up to bad judgement on your part, and a lesson learned. Non of us are perfect parents and all do things we reflect on and wish it had gone a different way.

I am imagining the op with hiking boots on, laiden with bags , trekking up the side of a mountain to her car - Tesco miles behind them 🫣

Well assuming I knew it was piss, which is unlikely, I cant say it would particularly bother me. I mean I wouldnt seek it out but I wouldnt go bat shit about it either. As I said before, we all walk through animal waste, or its residue, when we walk down the street, I fail to see that a small child being caught short is "disgusting" when a dog/cat doing a wee were people walk is considered just what they do and should be accepted.

Total over reaction.

As an SEN teacher I like to think I’ve seen/heard everything, but this took my breath away.

Does she have SEN? My son is autistic and very occasionally wets himself a bit still (at 6 years old) but I still wouldn't let him wee in a carpark - that's gross. A wild wee in a bush, yes - carparks/pavements/roads etc - no way. Nearly all 6 year olds should be able to wait 2 minutes to go back into the shop to do a wee there (the exceptions would generally be SEN or have a medical issue). I wouldn't have said anything (like the other woman did) as I'd have assumed the child must have issues for the parents to allow them to do something so gross. If that's not the case though, then please learn from the responses on her and next time just go back to the shop!

Or is this a reverse? Are you the woman who shouted? I find it hard to believe anyone would post on here genuinely thinking that it's okay for 6 year olds to deliberately wee in carparks ...

I’m with this comment. On mumsnet kids can be in nappies until they are 8. Breastfeed till primary school.

Caught short and desperate at 6 is apparently an issue!

Meanwhile, in real life… no, it’s not a problem to let her wee in the car park if you don’t think she could hold it until you got back inside.
I sympathise, my DS is a bit older than your DD and is much better now but when he was 5/6 he was still leaving it until right at the last minute before he would tell me he needed to go. Sometimes I would be in a shop with no loo and a basket of items and have to put the basket down and leg it to the nearest cafe.
Only twice have I pulled the car over and let him wee in some bushes. I’d rather that than wet seats and clothes thank you very much.
Besides, there are animals pissing all over the place.

God the haters are out tonight

She's only little. Of course it's okay. X

Omg SEN now ?? 🤣🤣

Dogs can be trained to go in their own garden.

Your disgusting god get over yourself and take her to the toilet! It wasn’t miles away!

That's really disgusting OP.
Keep a portapotty in the car if you think there will be times where one of your children can't make it to the loo!

Dogs don't know how to use toilets though 🙄

Well this was in a particularly public place yesterday but I can think of 4 other friends at least whose young children regularly pee outdoors.

i live fairly rurally - maybe it’s a country thing?

Nope. That's not OK. You're so unreasonable.

Good grief the level of fear of bodily fluids on this place makes me wonder how some of you got pg at all!!

Yes I think that’s gross too actually but I see your point.

My concern is more for the kid exposing herself in public. You don’t know who could’ve been around.

Given she asked to wee next to the car I’m guessing you make a habit of letting your child wherever the mood takes her.

Personally if she leaves it till the last minute to tell you she wants to go I’d tell her she has to wait. Maybe it will take her wetting herself to be embarrassed enough to ask next time.

She’s not a toddler.

MN on a Friday night never disappoints. JFC.

You made it her business by being so disgusting.

Wee? I honestly don't care. Dogs and cats and wild animals wee around the place.

Poo? I do care about. And actually this makes no sense because actually digs and cats and wild animals do that too. So why do I care more about poo?

I think though wee is not sterile, it is basically harmless. Fecal matter, not so much.

I don’t think it’s a huge deal. I don’t think she had any need to comment, how did she know there’s not something wrong with DD?

Re: ‘what if we all did this’ - never trust a floodgates argument hahaha

What if all 6 year olds did this wherever. it’s not acceptable so you are being unreasonable

I mean sometimes it's either wee on the floor or wee in their pants and then on the floor anyway when they're young. Dogs seem to piss everywhere and noone cares 🤷‍♀️

She said she was about to wee?

Because it’s a child, it probably wouldn’t bother me to the extent I’d say something but to be fair, unless there’s a massive drip feed coming, you didn’t actually have any circumstances other than a six year old that didn’t tell you she needed the loo until she was about to wet herself. She’s not a toddler in the throes of being toilet trained anymore. She’s old enough to tell you as soon as the urge hits. And now there’s a puddle of wee that some poor, unsuspecting sod is going to step in as they get out of their car.

I think you’re angry with her because you felt she was criticising you. She wasn’t being mean, any more than you were being a poor parent. So either you need to explain to your daughter that people are going to react if she leaves it until the last minute and has to use a car park as a toilet, or you have to think very carefully and ask yourself if she did tell you she needed the loo, but you didn’t listen.