Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

Does the doctor magically wave his medicinal wand, and cure paediatric continence issues?

I was wondering about the etiquette of this last week, when I let my 4 year old pee in the park behind a tree. No toilets in the park, we've not long moved to the area so I've not fully got a handle on where the nearest would be and whether my 4 year old could hold it. I had no intention of flailing about searching only for him to pee himself anyway.

Then, when we'd finished and I was feeling a bit furtive, a dog walked past and cocked it's leg against a bush. So fuck it, dogs are pissing over pavements, paths, parks, carparks etc all the time and noone is remotely arsed. How disgusting can it actually be?

She made a judgement in the moment. I have been there. One of mine was a sod for not mentioning they needed the loo until they were almost wetting themselves and it always happened when we were too far from a loo to make it without an accident. And before you say it, yes I would always ask and offer the loo. So in those circumstances, yes I have done the same. Personally I always tried to find a drain. And I am sure that the woman in question wouldnt have been happy to follow a trail of piss through Tesco as a result of the OP trying to get her kid there.

Someone is going to get out their car and stand in that puddle of piss, or a toddler is going to fall in it, or something equally gross. This is on you for putting your 6 year old in that position, she will remember and might be embarrassed when she is older. Instead of worrying about the lady, I'd be working on building up the time your daughter can hold her bladder, getting her to tell you when she needs the toilet a bit rather than waiting til she is about to wet herself rather than walk across a car park, and take her to the doctors if she doesn't improve in case it's an infection, and if no medical issue and she is just like this, I'd be regularly asking her to go for a wee before we went out / when we were out and saw a decent toilet, so that this doesn't happen again

@WaterfallSounds it wasn’t that OP wasn’t bothered her child said she was desperate OP said she would leave the bags in the car and go back to the shop the child was upset and said again she was desperate and was going to per herself

So you’d not mind if you stepped into a puddle of piss, got into your car so the piss then gets wiped on the car mat and then you walk the piss into your house ?
Sorry but it’s not a nice thing to let your daughter do. If she can’t hold it in for the 2 mins to walk to the toilet, maybe consult the GP.

6 year olds have accidents. Fact of life.

My 3 year old would've rushed to the supermarket toilet.

Your child is 6 not a toddler. Weirdo.

I’m quite shocked at these responses, especially those saying it’s despicable at any age. I have 2 friends with 3 year old boys and they pee outside all the time. I honestly assumed this is completely normal. In fact I was with one yesterday in a car park when he did it (no toilets close by)

I assumed this was relatively normal. Unless it’s different for boys? Plenty of people were passing and nobody looked annoyed or disgusted.

I wouldn’t have said anything, but 100% yuck.

Could she have a chronic UTI? Because that’s not normal in a child of that age.

Where do you live that there are designated places for dogs to go to the toilet? Where do you live that dogs are so intelligent that they tell their owners they need to go? Surely you can see the difference

Personally I might be a bit surprised, but having raised children myself I’d just assume that you were dealing with an emergency rather than regularly doing this sort of thing. I’m surprised so many people have been lucky enough to have avoided any such emergencies and therefore be able to be so judgemental about it.

I wouldn't have said anything but I don't think i have ever seen a 6 year old wee outside whilst their parents allow it.

Why would it be totally normal for 3 year olds to pee anywhere they want? Do you walk around and see and see all the other toddlers out there randomly peeing everywhere? Also, huge difference between a 3 year old and a 6 year old.

Omg ridiculous your in the wrong at 6 she should know how to hold it for 2 mins

Will be a full moon on Sunday.

(in case anyone cares 😂)

But sometimes kids just can't hold it though?

Y'all have kids right?

Or if not, you were a kid at one point?

I don't think OP allowing her daughter to relieve herself in a carpark is the cause of the breakdown in society that we are witnessing today...

Yes there were toilets inside but as a 39 year old woman with bladder issues (which I've had since a child) I can guarantee you she wouldn't have made it.

She would have wet herself and then had to walk through the crowded shopping centre with soaked clothes, embarrassed, cold and probably crying her little 6 year old heart out.

I can't believe the expectations people have for a six year old, OP isn't saying her daughter urinates constantly in public and that she allows it ffs.

I’ve owned a dog for more than a decade now. Not once has she peed on a car park floor or a brick wall. I’d certainly not let a school age child do that, especially not with toilets nearby.

If grown men can piss against bushes/trees in public when walking home from the pub I can't get too upset by a child peeing on the ground. FFS it'll rain soon enough

But what were the unusual circumstances she didn’t know about?! She needed the toilet and you didn’t take her to an actual toilet inside as you should have?! 6 is not a tiny child…

Ha ha ha ha! You can’t be serious? You think people, kids or otherwise pissing in public is “normal” 😂 and you’re “shocked” at the responses?

That was exactly my point, it’s on the parent to remind the child when in public and near a toilet.
As a Mum of an autistic child, in the early years of toilet training I would get her to “try” before we left and always be aware of where public toilets are, and make a point of getting her to try when we were nearby.
its not rocket science

Well I’m in the minority here and would say YANBU. Obviously not ideal to do it all the time but a one off where your DD is clearly really desperate I think is fine. I have done it with my 5yo DS, he just seems to have a bladder where he doesn’t get signals he needs to go until quite late and honestly I don’t want him wetting himself this age (he has been to doctors, all fine).

MN would be absolutely appalled to hear I went for a we next to my car recently after a 4 hour road trip in which we accidentally got lost and got stuck in traffic… eventually made it to a services but I genuinely couldn’t walk to the toilet. And I’m in my 30s. The horror!!!

Puddle of piss between a car parking space. If you had parked and got out not knowing it was there and stepped in it or your DD had it would be different. The woman was right to point it out. Your DD now knows its wrong too. You were lazy on this occasion. The weight of the bags and your excuses meant you let her take the piss. YABU