Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

Very brave to comment to a mother & child.

There’s an alley in Dublin known as “piss alley”, I’m sure the lady who so bravely shouted at a mother & child would like directions to it.

i’m a minority voter too and say YANBU. Sometimes stuff happens and you make a split second decision.

boys get away with peeing in bushes all the time, girls always get the short straw with things like this. I think an urgent pee for a 6 year old is fine.

AI Overview

Public urination is illegal in the UK, potentially resulting in fines and even prosecution under public order offensesand environmental laws. While a £120 fine is common, local authorities may impose different penalties, such as a £90 fixed penalty notice under the Public Order Act 1986, or treating it as littering under the Environmental Protection Act 1990. In some situations, public urination can also be prosecuted as indecent exposure if genitals are intentionally exposed with the intent for someone to see them, causing alarm or distress

Was thinking the same thing. Lift bag out of trolley, put in boot. How's that a struggle 😂. I'm old enough to be a grandmother and I manage the above task just fine.

She's not a small child, though, she's six.

My 3 year old would occasionally wee on our car wheel if he was desperate and couldn't wait but we've stopped him now he's 3.5, and I don't think I'd allow it past 4. I can understand that little children often leave it a little bit too late, but at 6 she should have been potty-trained for a while now and should have mentioned it inside the supermarket.

A 6 year old should be more than capable of holding for a few minutes

Someone's already beaten you to it with the 'she isn't brave because she wouldn't say the same to a man' comment.

I think you've misunderstood the situation a bit. This lady doesn't like seeing people urinate in public spaces, that's why she commented. I doubt she'd want to actively choose to go somewhere known for it! What I assume she wants, based on her comments, is for people to use public toilets instead of car parks. A view that is widely shared.

Op, Id suggest getting some wee bags, (portable potty bags) if your caught short she is peeing in a bag that can be disposed of rather than peeing on the floor, which I imagine was the issue.

They also double as great sick bags when needed too.

I see her point if there were toilets in the store, but equally, shes a child and sometimes we all get caught short.

What has that got to do with what I posted?

I think weasel cheeks is missing another possible option. The OP's DD does this regularly either because she finds it fun or just plain doesn't like supermarket toilets. It reminds me of when my son was in preschool aged 4 and we'd queue outside waiting for the door to open. One child declared hilself "desperate" so his mother suggested he pee in the drain rather than wait the couple of minutes until the doors were optner. Immediately all the others boys were also desperate and pleasing with their parents to pee in the drain. Most of them did. This because a ritual every morning. One morning the preschool staff came out and saw them doing it. Parents apologetic. Kids were desperate. It was very hard to break the habit after that because it was so normal and part of their preschool routine. I think possibly the op's DD also had this habit but no one has called her out on it before and this is why it's notable this time.

But it was her business because you let your 6 year old urinate in a car park. She won’t have wanted to see that and neither would anyone else. Of course a 6 year old can wait two minutes for you to take them to a toilet, they have to organise themselves at school and go at break times. You couldn’t be bothered to take her back in and subjected that poor lady to your disgusting laziness and now you’re trying to justify it after being called out on it. It’s incredibly selfish on your part, it’s not all about you, have some respect for others. Well done to the lady that pulled you up for your behaviour, you should consider it carefully instead of blindly trying to justify your laziness. What a terrible standard to set to your daughter as well, she’ll now thinks it’s fine to urinate in car parks. Put this right.

But true.

Is there an issue with your dd?

My point was that she wouldn’t be “brave” (not my language) enough to confront those type of people but she is brave enough to shout at a mother about a child.

I wouldn’t shout a a mother & child in these circumstances in a million years. Because I have basic empathy & I understand that sometimes life happens.

Your circumstances?! 🤣🤣
You couldn’t be arsed to remind your child to use the toilet when in the shop and then couldn’t be arsed to take her back in when she was desperate, that’s pretty much “your circumstances” isn’t it, that woman DID know, and so do the 84% of people you voted yabu (so far)!!!
Its a shame your daughter was upset but that is on you because of your lazy parenting.

Are you always so horrid?

@the7Vaboyup and I’m proud I don’t openly let my daughter urinate in public spaces. The fact that this kid asked her mother to urinate against the car shows that this is normal….
people have to use this car park, could stand in the urine etc it’s absolutely disgusting!

It doesn’t matter someone wasn’t around . It’s unhygienic and unnecessary for a 6 year old.

My almost 4 year old drives me mad with suddenly announcing she's absolutely desperate for a wee or poo. I'd much rather her wee on the floor in a car park than do the 'socially acceptable' thing of dashing across a car park for her to pee in her clothes. We're working on getting her to tell me sooner and I generally take her for a wee when there is access to a loo and she's not been for a while, but sometimes I'm caught off guard.

OP it was a one off and desperate situation, I wouldn't think any more about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

If the child needed to go she needed to go , if they could have made the toilet I’m sure they would have…. nobody wants to pee in a car park.

I am in disbelief reading some of the comments here , my god the knicker twisting and pearl clutching is ridiculous. It is arguable that my Lurcher has more cognitive development . There are more horrific things going on in the world to be outraged about, this isn’t one of them …..

To those who think this is fine for a 6 yo, at what age does it stop being okay to pee in the car park? 7? 8? 9? Older?

Nope, years ago lots of us weren't brought up to just pee outside. HTH

That’s an assumption. It sounds more likely to me that she’d reached the point of wetting herself.

It's disgusting behaviour really op. Six is old enough to wait until you find a loo

I know what your point was, as I said someone else already made the same point. I agree. She wouldn't confront a man or group of men doing the same...for fear that she'd be battered to death. Isn't that a shame? That we live in that sort of fear. It's true, but unrelated to what happened in the car park. It's brave to call out any sort of antisocial behaviour. Just because she might not be brave enough to take on a man doesn't mean she wasn't brave to speak up when she saw the OP behaving badly (there are of course lots of violent women too). If, as a society, we called out low level antisocial behaviour more often I think we'd probably all be living in much nicer communities.

Yeah it’s not really the same thing is it!
an alley, while still disgusting, is out of the way, if a adult man was pissing next to his car outside a supermarket he probably wouldn’t get away without someone saying something!