Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

How old are you out of interest?

What is it then a uni graduate?

The age at which children get referred for night toliet training in Ireland is 7. Some people seem to think 7 is pension aged.

Disgusting and vile! A 6 year old will not ask to wee near the car unless they've done it before and its considered okay to do. I suspect you've made her wee near the car before. How disgusting and your poor child. I bet you are the type to wee in a swimming pool because you CAB to get to the toilet. If your child is not good at holding her wee in, at the very least you need a travel potty with potty liners, so your dd doesn't have to wee by the car like a dog. Also make her wee before she leaves your house and supermarket. And yes, it is the lady's business. People who park in your spot will most likely tread on your daughters piss.

The only reason anyone should be peeing outside is if there are no toilets nearby. There were toilets nearby. The woman was right.

Hopefully people are reading this out to the menfolk in their houses atm, men and boys do this with impunity. Pissing like a German shepherd marking territory.

This drives me crazy.

Your children do not need snacks and water hourly.

The fact that your DD asked if she could pee by the car suggests that this not the first or only time that you family has engaged in public peeing.

Horrible thing to introduce your children to. Start it as a child and she’ll think nothing of dropping her drawers to squat in the gutter at a night out. We were treated to that vision of deportment when collecting our son from a shift at a pub he worked at!

What has my age got to do with anything on this thread?

Guaranteed that that view is someone closer to 80 than 40!

To be fair I don’t think a man peeing in a supermarket carpark in the middle of the day wouldn’t attract comment. But I do wonder if DD has been a DS if the comments would be the same.

I’d think it was disgusting whether it’s a boy or girl. If they are desperate and there’s no toilet nearby then yes go discreetly behind a tree or something. Not next to your car in a public car park with toilets just minutes away.

It’s not exactly ideal and op needs to think how to manage this better in future. However it’s pretty shit and unkind to have a go at someone in front of the child.

I remember being shake as a child. Burned into my brain and I’m well into adulthood.

It doesn't.

It's a stupid habit that's been normalised that actually causes lots of problems. It stops kids doing outdoor activities because they are unable to cope for more than an hour without them. It's restrictive and doesn't teach resilience.

It was her business as you allowed your daughter to urinate in a public place in full view of others . I have had three kids and at that age they would have been able to tell me in advance that they needed the toilet, unless there are medical issues it really is disgusting .

How quickly do you think liquids absorb into tarmac?

If I saw a 3 year old using a potty outside my main thought would be thank goodness I don’t have to deal with that anymore!

No, they are suggesting that if the child could not wait 2 minutes to get to a toilet after feeling she needed to go then she should see a doctor. And she should. Likelihood is the child was asking for the toilet for a while or like my son was trying to hold it in for ages without saying anything because he can’t be bothered going to the toilet. Either way, pissing in a public car park isn’t the answer.

It’s almost as if humans have more cognitive development than dogs isn’t it?

75 posts.. not too bad

Wrong thread sorry

The other woman should have shut her mouth. Who cares if a little child needs a wee in a car park. This page is full of pearl clutching middle class Englanders! Ignore them.

OP was wrong in the sense it was bad management on her part as a parenting task. Not the end of civilisation as we know it.
I would not shout at anyone in public, so demeaning my deah!

A bit yucky but I remember as a kid peeing myself on the M8 because my dad kept saying we were almost there. He was raging. Now I have my own kids I tend to take it seriously if they say they’re desperate and even though it’s gross and not ideal - sometimes if you gotta go you gotta go. It’s a bit of wee at the end of the day it’s not like she was curling one out.

I don't care about the actual weeing in a car park per se, but only for the child's dignity. I certainly wouldn't tell the parent off. When toilet training a two or three year old we've definitely had a "pee behind this tree" moment or two at that age.

But in a supermarket there are toilets and it sounds like the OP was not listening to DD - six is little so you need to ask them whether they need to wee before you leave, as they may well not realise until it is urgent.

I remember peeing on my doorstep when I was five when I came home from school one time as I couldn't hold it and hadn't realised how desperate I was - probably I'd avoided the disgusting school toilets.

So they definitely don't get it right at this age, or even older. DD2 got UTIs when she started school as she was holding it in and not drinking. Then again at secondary school as she found it hard to time it to go and pee in between lessons, as she was so overwhelmed by the whole experience.

But you need to be their advocate, asking them to try and do a wee before you leave the house or before you start shopping in the supermarket.

It's not a biggie in the grand scheme of things. We all make bad judgement calls from time to time, and both of you will likely remember to go to the toilet when available next time.