Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

That's why you make them pee BEFORE going somewhere. I still tell my teenage boys to go to the toilet before going somewhere. It's just logic.

1. You made a choice that is socially questionable
2. Because of this, someone who is on the side of thinking its wrong, challenged you on it

3 the woman is not 'mean' to call you out

1. If your daughter is upset by the woman, that's on you. You made a judgement call, it got a response.

Everything children do does not have to.be approved of by everyone otherwise its 'mean'

She was in a supermarket car park with access to toilets. We're not talking about peeing behind a tree at the park.

That is disgusting to be honest, seeing as there were public toilets in the supermarket. It's worrying at 6 that she's not properly toilet trained & can't hold wee for a couple of minutes.

If she's often incontinent & can't understand when she needs a wee until it's too late at 6 she probably needs to go back in pull ups while you are out.

What's happening at school - does she have a lot of accidents there? Is she dry at night?

Either it's something OP has just allowed & the child has grown up thinking it's acceptable to wee where you like when you like or there's some underlying SEND.

And your answer should have been
"Yes darling you're not meant to wee in car parks bit it was mummy's fault for letting you do it"

Your poor daughter! She must have felt humiliated, not by the other woman but by you who repeatedly ignore her for a very long time.

I bet she was telling you she needed the toilet even before you go into the supermarket but you chose to ignore her.

Small children are 3, not 6. Babying children perfectly old enough to wait is why teachers spend more time toileting kids than educating them
Yabu

Yes thank you, my reading comprehension is perfectly fine. My comment stands.

Can I just add that in the world I live in, if I went to the doctor and said that I was there because my 6 year old almost wet themselves (as loads of people are suggesting on here), I'd fully expect to be told that that is a thing that sometimes happens with 6 year olds now stop wasting my time and get out of my surgery.

6 is not little

if she finds it hard to hold once needs a wee then you as the adult need to ask her when on any premises before going home @Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist

do you need a wee

or

let’s try for a wee

pissing on the floor of a public car park at that age isn’t needed when toilets 2-3min walk

if she can’t hold her wee for 2-3mins then she needs to be checked out by a doctor

the woman was right to say something as really no need for it

she wasn’t 2yrs

"The only message I would encourage the OP to take from this thread is that such threads turn into a pile on, and that unfortunately there is something in people where they can’t resist joining in a pile on"

Well that's because there are people who think it's a public space and understand that it should be respected and looked after by people that use it.

Other people on this thread think they can do what the like and other " tossrags" etc should mind their own fucking business.

Japan for example has more of the former type and the UK,increasingly, has more of the latter....

If as a parent, your 6 year old child pees in a car park you are always running the risk that someone will say something, which is a reflection of your parenting,(not of your child obviously)

Op I get when they need to go sometimes it’s that thing that it’s about to happen and nothing is going to stop it, actually my issue is more that you said ‘excuse me?’ which to me sounds ready for an argument because you can’t argue that one, it is horrible for everyone else, it’s not like it’s in the woods behind trees etc. And no matter how irritating the lady was I would have been apologising while saying there was no option

No OP weeing in a carpark is disgusting and unnecessary especially when there’s a toilet near by

Your DD actually asked if she could wee by the car. So this is something she's done before and thinks is an option. Does this happen a lot?

The OP said 'Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet'. My interpretation of this is that dd may well have said she needed the toilet sooner but the OP tuned it out as her 'moaning and being difficult'.

Well, I think you were unreasonable, because now the piss will dry, and absolutely stink in that area. Its pretty antisocial.

I think you should maybe check if DD needs a wee more often, or get a portable potty for these situations if you really can't avoid them.

But if she's not able to manage her bladder given more opportunity and reminders to go, you need to take her to a GP.

So many questions, but mainly, how would you feel if more people used car parks as toilets. Further, would you be outraged if your daughter tripped and landed in urine because so many used it as a toilet?
If your daughter can’t hold her wee for longer than a few moments, she needs to see a Dr. Or, it’s a learner behaviour because you let her just go wherever.
If she has a weak bladder, and this is something you’re aware of, you could’ve taken her to the toilet before you went to the car. It’s all just bad planning on your part imo,

you were wrong
she was mean
i hope you dont allow your daughter to wee like this again

I cannot get over this, letting a 6 year old wee in a public car park where other people will be standing in it. That's awful. That would be unacceptable with a 3 year old never mind a 6 year old!

Maybe this is why she behaves like this?

Yes, what happened was wrong, you were caught and embarrassed- take ownership instead of being outraged at the person who simply pointed out the truth. It’ll help you in the long run.

I am not a “tossrag” thank you. I am a busy parent who sometimes forgets things.

I don’t promote people peeing in car parks, however I understand that sometimes life happens, we let things get on top of us, forget things, are too impatient and things turn out less than ideal.

Being caught out when a child is involved on a rare occasion is entirely different to someone who is the type of person who doesn’t see any need for public decency.

6 isn't quite little though..? 🥴

It's just a wee. Kids get desperate and need to go. Would rather see someone weeing on the ground than peeing themselves. Kids often leave but too late when they should know better- my kids (boys) used to regularly have to wee on way home from school when they were younger as they hadn't gone all day as too busy!

6? In a supermarket car park?! Is she used to just weeing wherever she likes?

I saw a child who looked about 3 sitting on a potty in the boot with the boot open in a supermarket car park and I thought how ridiculous/ odd. But this is next level.

If it was in corner of park, or a car park where there’s no toilet there etc and she can’t hold it, then she’s still little enough then. But no age is little enough to do a wee by the car in a supermarket car park. Was it just that you couldn’t be bothered to go back in? Part of potty training is that they can hold it until they get to the toilet even if they’re holding their bits and doing a dance whole way there!

Perhaps if everybody (including children of this age) were not permanently attached to water bottles, this type of situation would not arise!!