Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

People let their dogs (sorry “fur babies”) piss anywhere and everywhere. Your daughter’s wee isn’t any more dirty. Unless we are going to start banning dogs from all these places, I can’t see the actual harm. I personally wouldn’t have done it, as I’d expect my child to hold it. But it’s hardly disgusting when you think of all the dogs.

You have just randomly decided your actions were ok but the OP’s weren’t. You could have unstrapped your other child & found a toliet but you didn’t. So don’t come for the OP.

Good god people need to get a grip.

She had a quick wee because she was desperate, she didn't take a shit on the doorstep.

Nobody gives a flying fig about dogs pissing wherever they like.

OP; it's not ideal I'm sure you know that but when you've got to go, you've got to go. And FWIW my 5 year old wouldn't have made it back either. He goes from nothing to hopping in seconds.

Yes yabu. She's 6 not 3.

Well daughter would learn not to do the same thing again and Mum would learn not to do the same thing again. And they'd both get to the toilet in ample time like everyone else rather than learning that it's ok to piss in public with god knows who watching.

Problem solved.

You would have got the message by now that it’s not appropriate. If your dd can’t hold it, you ideally need to make sure she goes before you leave the house and also before you leave a shop or anywhere else with public toilets available.
You could also buy a potette for emergencies. Not ideal for a 6 year old but the wee goes in a bag and you dispose of it yourself rather than letting it puddle in a car park.

Unless the circumstances are going to be explained them based on what you’ve said YABU. If you know she can’t always hold it then you need to plan toilet breaks. It’s disgusting to let her urinate in a car park where people will end up walking in it and then into a supermarket.

This! Would have taken at most, one minute, to go back to the supermarket, so she could use the toilet. If she can't hold it for that long she needs to see a doctor.

OP - Whatever your circumstances, people shouldn't be weeing in supermarket carparks, so the lady was right to call it out.

Awful. You as the parent had opportunities to manage this better.

YABU. I'd expect my 2 year old to be able to hold it, never mind a 6 year old. It's disgusting, not to mention the fact that your daughter deserves the privacy of a loo.

I know plenty of supermarkets that didn't get the memo that "all" supermarkets have toilets - and I don't mean "local" ones, I mean proper big ones.

You're in for a bumpy ride, I'm afraid. Mumsnet is very weird about toilets in general; apparently it's a crime to let a "workman" use your toilet in your home, they're supposed to hold it in for the entire day's work, or spend valuable time travelling to find one, and they're not supposed to use car parks either. And I remember the "urinary leash" imposed by the government in 2020 when there were no public toilets open anywhere, 'cos covid.

You know that's not remotely the same, right?

Outside is where dogs do their business. Humans use toilets.
Hope that helps.

She's six.

Next time she's desperate in the school playground because mum has taught her to piss in the car park do you think it would be ok for her to piss outside because she's too lazy to hold it and go inside?

Cos that's what Mum is teaching her rather than insisting on going to a toilet and managing when she goes to the toilet better.

There are massive issues with children not being toilet trained that didn't exist just ten years ago. This is related not to children having more needs but to pure and simple crap parenting.

It's disrespectful at the very least. Six is old enough to understand this.

The only message I would encourage the OP to take from this thread is that such threads turn into a pile on, and that unfortunately there is something in people where they can’t resist joining in a pile on.

I don’t have an issue with the weeing but your “excuse me?” response was very passive aggressive. “I’m so sorry, she just couldn’t wait” would’ve been better.

YANBU. My 5 year old goes from 'not needing to go' (even when asked in the shop) to desperate very occasionally. She says she can't feel it. Yes there will be medical checks- but sometimes they just need time and emotional support. In a pee emergency I would rather have her pee discreetly behind the car and shield her than drench her tights and shoes, which would only make the issue worse. I don't like this solution but in an emergency I think it's the better option.

Humans are not dogs. I don't expect children to behave like animals. I don't think this is an unreasonable position even if you are a dog lover who refers to their pet as a fur baby. I do know quite a few people who do, but they also would expect my child to piss in a toilet at six.

Hope that enlightens you.

Plan your trips better( use toilet before and after shopping)
Get a potty for the car for emergencies.
Make sure there is no underlying reason she can’t hold for a few minutes. I work with this age group and it’s very rare to not be able to hold if you know a toilet is near.

Mumsnet is very prissy about bodily fluids, and I expect this kind of title thread is a magnet for those that wash their towels after every use.

Given the circumstances I have no problem with what happened. Young children can't always hold it in, and it's just wee. The rain will wash it away.

The woman was rude. She has no idea of the circumstances and chose to deliberately make you and your daughter feel bad. Not a nice person.

A lot of people commenting are rude. They are choosing to deliberately use unkind words with the intention of making you feel bad. Not nice people. At all.

Some of the comments on here are quite staggering. Really shows what a nasty bunch of people there are when they are behind a keyboard.

The issues you refer to - 4 year olds turning up in school in nappies are entirely different to a woman & a child having a bad day or a child having an accident.

Some 6 years olds have the odd accident and they always did. So resit the urge to pile on the OP.

It’s really awful.

Yeah I'm quite surprised too - I'd have done the same as the OP except I'd have used much more colourful language towards the interfering old tossrag. Do we have a lot of pavement lickers on MN or something?

At 6 unless she has a medical condition then she absolutely can hold it.

when we have potty trained our kids we bring a potty. Sometimes needs must when they are learning but the wee in the potty, in the boot of our car and I will find a drain to tip the pee down.

Im glad she called you out

A child is weeing in a public carpark, yet we're nasty? Hmm, OK... 🤔