Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

You could chuck it down a drain? Probably courteous to follow with a slosh of water over the metal, especially in warm/dry weather

@Empress13 why can't people carry water to wash away their digs wee? or train them to wee in a drain? You can get dog nappies if your dog is incontinent, maybe see the Vet!

Well I haven’t, in a lot of years in the job but either way the dc in question would get spoken about how it wasn’t appropriate, regardless of gender!

If I saw somebody (anybody) pissing in a car park I would mind my own fucking business. If it was a child with a parent, I would assume they were doing what was necessary to avoid an accident and a child with soaked pants.

@liveforsummer perfect timing so can we expect dog owners to slosh water down with their dogs water or train their dog to wee in drains? I've seen posters say their dogs only wee in drains.

You work in a school and you think it’s ok for a grown woman to shout at a 6 year old who can’t hold it?

Would I have been delighted to see such a sight, of course not, but I would have minded my business and also looked away from a child as from a safe guarding perspective why would anyone look at a child in that situation?

Well I haven’t,

I haven't see a lot of things but I know they exist or happen...

the dc in question would get spoken about how it wasn’t appropriate, regardless of gende

@liveforsummer you would tell the dc they were inappropriate?

Ime we would talk about how you should go during break even if you don't think you need to, that toilets are the place to go etc. we wouldn't shame them...

Also why are we comparing human behaviour to dogs? There are a lot of things dogs perfectly acceptably do in public that isn’t appropriate for a human of any age 😅

Have you taken your son to the doctor? At 7 he should be able to let you know well before he can't hold it anymore, unless there is a medical issue, like diabetes or something else, that means he can't because it comes on so suddenly.

@liveforsummer but piss is piss is it not? if it's disgusting to walk in a child's piss surely it's disgusting to walk in dogs piss?

Where did I call the child inappropriate? I said peeing in the middle of a playground isn’t appropriate and we’d discuss the reasons why.

Well in that case why aren’t we all just peeing where we stand wherever we need to go. The actual urine isn’t the only issue to peeing in public? This is all getting a bit mad now 😆. Maybe some people are still from last night. I’m off now to start my day 😅

Sometimes you make a bit of a poor judgement when you’re in a parenting panic. Sometimes there’s no good judgement to make. If your daughter hadn’t made it to the loo you might have had wet clothes to deal with - if they were visibly wet I expect you’d have had a line of mumsnetters waiting to tell you on the way out of the shop how gross and rank you were for letting that happen too.
Ideally you’d get your daughter to go for a preventative wee at every possible moment, but you know what OP? Sometimes I forget to do that as well. And sometimes I run out of time. But then I’m one of those frowned-upon mums who doesn’t have a lot of free time and support and makes mistakes sometimes - unlike most of Mumsnet, who are flawless.
A public wee is something to guide your daughter away from from this point forward - there, that’s the neutral response you need. You know what is really, really disgusting though? Like, really fucking rank and gross and eeeeww? Humourlessly giving a parent a dressing-down in public in front of their child when you don’t know the circumstances, and then just walking off like a snooty bitch. She could have waited until you had your child in the car and then said ‘Can I have a word?’ to you quietly, because that’s the correct etiquette in this situation. Essentially she knew she wouldn’t see you again, nobody you knew was watching, so she could leave a comment ringing in your ears, and your daughter’s, for her own satisfaction. So much worse than leaving a wee in an out-of-the-way corner.
Ripping into someone online about a moment in which they were overwhelmed, and calling them lazy when they were working hard at what most of us do - juggling a kid’s needs with everything else all by themselves when they’re knackered. Making like you’ve never made a bad judgement in your life about a child and the toilet - for goodness sake, some kids are fucking impossible about almost everything some days!
Tell your daughter that she ought to let you know earlier if she needs the loo, but that she must never, ever become someone who delivers snotty tellings-off to strangers and children.

It might happen twice a year. It also happens to some of his friends.

Are you a doctor or a medical professional?

I'm not posting my profession here but I have enough experience to know it doesn't necessarily represent a problem, however it should be checked out because it could at that age.

No need to panic, it's 95% water.

This.

Have all of these perfect parents never had life just happen to them when they had forgotten to remind a child to wee before they let the house.

My children will be taught the value of not judging others unless you have walked in their shoes.

@liveforsummer you asked why posters were comparing to dogs, I was just explaining.

The actual urine isn’t the only issue

But on that issue is piss not piss? If you don't have an answer it's ok.

Well if you are going not prepared to disclose your profession please refrain from giving unsolicited medical advice.

I'm not posting my profession here but I have enough experience to know it doesn't necessarily represent a problem,

Anyone with a brain knows that.

It's your son, I don't care if there's a problem or not, but it's not normal at 7.

Agree but anyone with a brain would also get a 7 year old who can't hold it regularly checked out, just to make sure.

@NotAhotWeatherPerson you think twice a year is regular?

So my 7 year old is “not normal” & I don’t “have a brain”. You are not a doctor, stop giving unsolicited medical advice out.