Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

That’s vile

Won’t bother me too much, especially with amount of dogs peeing everywhere. But I can why others think she at the age where she’s getting a bit old for peeing outside.

“awful parent” is uncalled for.

This place really shows itself up sometimes.

If that was on a paved piece of land, that is vile. (Dogs should also NOT be allowed to pee on paved roads.) If it was on grass or something, I guess more acceptable.

Either way her reaction - shaming you for the asocial behaviour of not planning your toilet breaks sufficiently well - was appropriate and proportionate.

Would you allow her to wee in the playground at school because she’s only 6 and desperate? Or would you say no let’s go to the toilet like civilised people ?

I’m surprised you didn't start your OP with “My DD is 72 months old”

I think it would be completely natural to feel disgust at seeing a kid wee where people walk and park, sorry!

If you’d been embarrassed and apologetic when explaining she’d have probably softened and felt sorry for you both. “Excuse me?!” never leads anywhere helpful I don’t think. You did hear what she said the first time.

If she couldn’t hold it then this was obviously the best option. Can guarantee if it was a boy instead of a girl most people would be fine with it.

A dog is an animal, at no point will it reach the stage where it doesn't eliminate waste as and when required. Humans will reach that stage. A six year old human will have roughly the same diet as an adult so the waste will be similar. Assuming the people who have no issue with OP's child urinating and by the same principle, defaecting anywhere they please, won't complain about homeless adults doing the same because they have no access to toilets alot of the time.

Nope.
Stop normalising this.

YANBU - she’s 6 and sometimes kids just don’t think ahead! I don’t get people saying this is disgusting, sounds like she did it as discreetly as possible by your car.

OP should have been more proactive - isn't it a common thing to encourage children to use the loo if they're a bit prone to 'suddenly' needing?

Then why didn't you get her to do a 'just in case wee' when you got there, knowing that it's an issue for her?

It's pretty bad to let a school-age child wee in public

I've got to say, my adult sized bladder is ridiculous and small, with a silly low level capacity. I remember going for an antenatal scan once and the doctor asked if i had emptied my bladder beforehand.

I said of course, which amused him as he could literally see it filling up as he scanned me 10 minutes after I'd just been! 😅

Some of us poor weak-bladdered souls just need a wee more often, more urgently! Having said that, unless it's a true emergency, i think getting a child to wee in a toilet rather than a public car park is more acceptable.

Small children as in recently toilet trained or still toilet training, yes. A six year old is generally in her second year of primary school - is it ok for her to piss in the playground if she can’t hold it to walk to the toilet? I don’t think you were sending her a great message by allowing it in the car park.

No problem with the kid pissing in the car park but the random ageism is irritating. You think she’s old because why? I bet all the pearl clutches on this thread are under 40.

Good you supported your daughter. Don't let yourself be bullied. Shouting unnecessarily at a child is cruel. Obvs it's not an everyday event. There are some very uptight posters on here.

There's no 'pearl clutches' - everyone is entitled to a view without you thinking yours is more valid.

OP created the problem though.

I've been to very few car parks that don't have various forms of cctv so the chance of just the woman seeing are very slim these days. Either way bad form parenting not the child's fault mother let her down. My kids range from 3-15 and not one can't wait till we find a toilet as that's the normal thing to do

I bet you just drove off and didnt even attempt to clear it up did you.

Honestly, 6 isn’t little.

I agree that people don't want to see others pissing in public; I imagine OP feels the same way and would have told her child to wait if she thought she could.

If I saw an adult letting their small child (and 6 is still small) wee in a carpark, I'd assume that the child had been caught short and wasn't likely to make it back to a loo, rather than it being a case of laziness or the parent being some kind of mad heathen.

What if the child had medical, or developmental issues? There could be any number of reasons and none of them are going to be helped by a stranger interjecting with a patronising comment.

Minding your own business is always an option.

I would be okay with it if it was over a drain, if it was just next to the car and left a puddle for people to drive through/step in I think it is pretty grim to be honest.

Well if that's the case you make sure to ask her if she needs to go before you leave the supermarket. As a mum of 2 (non driver btw) we usually go before we leave knowing we will have a wait for a taxi or a bus. 2 autistic children never been cought short like that.