Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

Unless there's a drip feed coming that suggests your dd has a medical or similar reason why she is at times unable to hold her wee then yes I find this unusual. Ds is 2.5 and has been potty trained for about 3 months and in this scenario he'd most likely have made it back into the supermarket for the toilet. At a push I'd let him pee inside the car in his portable potty. He's generally able to tell me well enough in advance that he needs a pee that he can hold it long enough for me to get him to a toilet. I think 6 is very old for this unless there's an additional need of some type and I think at 6, I'd have felt quite humiliated peeing in public like that. What if one of your dds classmates had driven past at that point and seen her? I think as parents it's our job to protect our kids dignity and privacy and I think this was not the right move in this situation which is why you were called out. I personally wouldn't have challenged you if I'd walked past but I'd have been very surprised to see this from a child of that age. If your dd sometimes is struggling to hold her bladder or is feeling the need to pee very suddenly then she probably needs checked over by the gp.

🤣

Not a supermarket car park but we Walked back from a concert and I was bursting.knew I wouldn’t make it home ,so I went behind the car I'm not sure if there were cameras and I wouldn’t care if there were to be honest!

Lack of planning isn't an emergency.

It probably wouldn't have bothered me unduly but six is a little old for a neuro typical child to not know within ten minutes of being desperate for a a wee. Similarly, as the child's mother, the op @Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist presumably knows the child's habits, she should have suggested a toilet visit before leaving the shop. Having said that, the last time I went to Tesco, I nearly planted my foot into a human poo left by the basins and it didn't look like a child's .

There is clearly no accounting for folk, big or small.

Get her a shee wee op and teach her to be a bit more discreet about it.

It makes their piss no less disgusting though. I don’t want it all over my garden wall, thank you.

Yes you were out of order and selfish. Imagine how many people have to walk through that. What would you say if your child splashed in a puddle of wee? Disgusting behaviour.

Are you talking about preventative?
Because I can't see any suggestions for that precise moment in time, when she said she couldn't wait?

No, proactive.
It really would help if you'd actually read existing replies.

I cannot believe the remarks here saying you were unreasonable.

How extraordinary.

A very young child needed to wee urgently.

6 isn't a very young child.
There were toilets very nearby.
OP could have taken DD to toilet when passing.
OP could keep a potty in the boot.
All this has already been stated several times.

What a disgusting way to talk to this woman.

Your child pissed in a supermarket car park - fucking hell, what is wrong with you?

I don’t think I would have said anything as I would not know the circumstances but at the same time, I can’t entirely blame this lady as she was probably quite shocked. In a way you set your dd up for this. Again, I wouldn’t have shouted around a child but the reality is that this behaviour will upset people and some could have been much ruder.

At 6 I feel like your dd ought to be able to tell you she needs the loo before she becomes that desperate, and ought to have been able to wait to return to the store. I think you’re sending the wrong message by saying yes, just go right here in the car park. She might have made it back to the store ok.

Get her medically checked and a urine test, just in case

If this is something that happens often, and tbh ops posts read as if it's happened more than once, then I don't see why op wouldn't ensure there's a portable potty or similar available for her dd to use incase they're out and she gets caught short and needs to go immediately. If you know that's a risk for your child then surely you'd plan to mitigate that risk by bringing what you need with you in the car to save your child any embarrassment? Obviously shit happens and forgetting something you normally bring is just human, but op hasn't given any indication in her posts that this is something she plans for etc which is why she's getting heat on here as it sounds as though the child has been made to pee by the car on a few occasions.

6 is very young.
Toilets nearby but OP had heavy bags to put away so she had to do that first.
Maybe her DD didn’t ask when they were passing? Maybe she didn’t want to leave her shopping unattended while she went in to the toilets?
She didn’t have a potty so no point harping on about it. Maybe she might get one so it’s handy for next time.

She may have been ‘correct’ but she was an uncharitable and unkind, judgemental person.

Eem, sorry but if you knew your child has issues holding it in then you need to prioritise and take them straightaway. I've done this before and left my shopping trolley with security and taken my child.

How on earth did you drive home with her having a wet bottom half?

Everyone here was being unreasonable.

The passerby is presumably not psychic, so didn't know whether or not DD was disabled and should have kept her mouth shut.

But as DD is not disabled, she should have been able to hold it in while you escorted her to the nearest toilet.

I mean it’s not the end of the world is it? there would have been a puddle of wee anyways if she’d wet herself (plus embarrassment) 🙃 just try to be proactive in future i.e, asking if she needs a wee every time you go near a toilet.

I sometimes need to wee urgently and can’t hold it, many a time I’ve weed myself, nothing medically wrong, it was worse when I was pregnant, had to wear a nappy every time I left the house so I certainly wouldn’t be judging a 6yo 🙃

All of us that have had children know the emergency wee/ nowhere to have it situation. This wasn’t it. She was outside a bloody supermarket.

By 6, my child was mortified if they had to wee outside - and I’m talking about the middle of nowhere. They wouldn’t even consider pissing against a car. Op must let this happen often for it to be a consideration.

6 isn't 'very' young.
Dump bags in boot and run.
Parent always asks child if they need loo on passing, suggests they try, instead of all expectation on child to ask.
OP needs to be more proactive with a potty in boot.
Peeing in car parks should not be so normalised that a 6 year old asks to do it!

She should have told you she needed a wee before you left the supermarket, or if she has a habit of waiting until the last minute to tell you she needs to go to the toilet, you should have taken her anyway.

Allowing her to pee in a carpark is disgusting, however had the child been made to walk back to the shop when she was already that desperate for a wee then she’d have probably had an accident. It could have meant that she’d pee’d on the carpark anyway, or the floor of the supermarket, so maybe what the OP did was the lesser of two evils. She does need to get a grip of this, though.

Arresting a six year old for weeing is just what the police need to be doing.