Woman shouted because Dd wee’d in the car park

[Hetoldherthatmagicdoesntexist]

Dd, 6 and I were at the supermarket today
We were in a rush, had walked all the way back to car, I was struggling with three large bags, putting them in the boot.
Dd was moaning and difficult most of the day, she said she was desperate for the toilet. I said to just wait a moment as I had to put the bags in etc and we’d go back. She started getting upset saying she was really desperate and about to wee and could she wee by our car quickly. I let her.
As I was fastening her car seat, an older woman walked past and shouted’There are loos inside you know!’ in not a very nice way. I shouted back ‘Excuse me?’ She said she was just saying there were loos inside that can be used (again, it wasn’t said in a nice way’ I said to her ‘She’s 6 years and was desperate and couldn’t hold it in, she’s 6!’ She pulled a face and got in her car.
Dd was upset and asked if she’d done something wrong and felt scared of the mean lady.

It really pissed me off, was I out of order??

YABU. Your DD asked to wee by the car so this is something you have let her do before.

When my kids were that little I spent all
the time every time passing toilets asking if they wanted to go or at least asked them to try and go.

You need to teach your DD to speak up as soon as she feels the need to go and then to wait until you can get her to a toilet. Most supermarkets have toilets. This isn’t teaching her those skills. If she cannot hold
it in for such a short time either you’re not listening to her when she tells you, she’s not telling you until desperate or she should see the doctors.

I have a nearly 5 year old and have an emergency travel potty in my car boot at all times, mainly for the purpose of long journeys. So there is absolutely an alternative if you don’t take your kid to the toilet enough.

Disgusting to leave a puddle of piss somewhere that someone else will step in it and you aren’t going to clean it up.

Not the same at all. OP should be more proactive - taking DD to the loo as they pass one and/or prepared to run back to loo and/or have a portapotty and/or have change of clothes, and, most importantly, check with GP regarding the 'not being able to hold it'. Just peeing in car parks is pretty grim, for the child and everyone else.

I just couldn’t get worked up about a small child who couldn’t hold their wee in any longer and definitely wouldn’t call them disgusting- because they’re not.

Us adults would be disgusting if we did it though.

Look I understand that maybe your DD really had to wee there and then but surely you should know this is not OK
so if someone challenges you the only option is to be sheepish rather than yell back and certainly not come and ask whether you are out of order.

Unfortunately if all kids visiting a supermarket did that it would also get disgusting very quickly

I can’t believe all you posters expressing disgust at a young child weeing desperation in a car park. Dogs piss all over the place and no one seems to mind that. They also crap on the pavement so don’t tell me a child having an emergency wee is worse than that.

More like totally discompassionate mumsnetters.

Still, it's the usual thing on here isn't it?
To make something low key into the biggest crime ever.

Totally missing the point.

If its utterly disgusting, grim, vile and entitled (others words, not mine) for a young child to get caught short and pee in public rather than wet herself, why is it not equally disgusting, grim, vile and entitled when a dog does it? Caught short is caught short. At 6 its not at all unusual to ignore the signs of needing a wee through being distracted by something more interesting, and then going from "no I dont need a wee" to "I am bursting" in a nano second.

Frankly I would rather walk through said small childs piss than anything that comes out of a dog.

@Livelovebehappy

Yea true. Depending on the temperament of the child they could just be being naughty though.

You actually asked to go to the toilet though.

In this scenario, something has happened where the parent didn’t offer the kid to go for a wee before they left the supermarket, and the kid hasn’t been trained to say when she needs a wee.

I get these things happen but i can also see why other posters think op has already normalised this for the kid.

Why did you post this on MN? Even if you did let your child wee outside the car, you know that it’s wrong and disgusting to witness. If you need to per outside, fine, during desperate times, but we don’t need to see or know about it,

Could you point me to where anyone suggested this could become a trend? Why would all children start doing it?

It's OP who is disgusting!
She needs to manage situations like this better, for her child's sake.

I mean I wouldn’t get worked up over this myself, but six is probably big enough to learn that if possible hold ir until a loo is available. Having said that I’m 41, with chronic cystitis and have been known to wee on train platforms, in car parks and behind bins when there is no public loo accessible as holding it will make me ill for days, so I get that holding it is not always possible. (I have a whole rant about the dismal state of public toilets in this country and how it restricts the ability of anyone with bladder weakness from participating in public life - my view is public peeing is protest! More public toilets should be standard!)

It's actually more compassionate to let OP know that she's being really unfair on her child, she needs to be more proactive.

I think posters would have more compassion if op took any resposnsibility, but she thinks this is totally ok rather than learning for next time, such as making sure her DD goes to the toilet before they leave, or gets an emergency potty for the car.

Good for them.
Are you saying that all children are the same?

OP is normalising this, and effectively asking others to do the same, when there are lots of other solutions (some which take more effort, granted).

Dogs can’t use toilets.

But you still haven't explained how?
If the child is desperate and can't wait?

I have explained up above, as have others. HTH

That's beyond grim. I would have been so mad.

Has anyone ever stormed over to you about your child sitting on a potty? There are lots of batshit people who would call that disgusting too.

It was an emergency.