Page 13 | men on mumsnet

LittleMi55Nobody · 2025-09-05T15:40:26+00:00

ladies..just wondering..are you fed up of men posting on mumsnet..why don't they start their own "dadsnet/mansnet" group..im getting fed up of obvious "male" comments undermining our woman issues....quite honestly id like them to fuck off cos im not interested in their opinons on womanship

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 06/09/2025 20:33

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 20:23

You’ve presumably heard of Google? Or are you just used to asking women to do the grafting for you?

Gingerbread Single dads
Dadmatters
Dadinfo
dadsnet
Families need fsthers
the breaking dad

basically there’s plenty of you can be arsed to look

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I have indeed heard of Google which is why I said that "when I became a single father some years back I looked around a lot and I found nothing comparable to the wealth of UK-specific parenting advice that I found here."

I assume that all you did was Google for "single father" or similar and not gone any further than that. I put way more effort in than that and quickly realised that sites such as dadmatters and breaking dad are nothing like mumsnet, dadinfo and dadsnet are pretty much dead, and FNF is aimed primarily at fathers who had little or no contact with their children and wanted that to change. None of those were as helpful as mumsnet was and I'd like to think that I've repaid that over the years with the advice I've been able to give about topics I have a lot of experience in.

In short, I was indeed arsed to look and found out that the suggestions you gave here are useless. But I guess it was easier for you to do a knee-jerk "men are shit" than to actually think about why I wrote what I wrote. That kind of attitude is one of the downsides of mumsnet but on balance I think the good stuff outweighs that kind of tedious crap.

ZanzibarIsland · 06/09/2025 20:43

NoThanksNeeded · 05/09/2025 16:48

And let's be real, half the people who get accused of being men on here are women

How do you know?

BluePearOntheRocks · 06/09/2025 20:50

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 20:23

You’ve presumably heard of Google? Or are you just used to asking women to do the grafting for you?

Gingerbread Single dads
Dadmatters
Dadinfo
dadsnet
Families need fsthers
the breaking dad

basically there’s plenty of you can be arsed to look

Show quote history

why on earth should a father NOT use mumsnet?

You google something, and it's a MN thread. You talk at a baby group, someone mentions MN, it's often in the press.

There's absolutely no reason whatsoever to look at a thread, and think no, musn't read the info or the banter, because I am not a MUM. Ridiculous.

I don't want to be on a "woman only forum:" either frankly,

Zwellers · 06/09/2025 20:52

LittleMi55Nobody you know what i hate. People who bring their own personal agendas onto site, ask a questions that's been asked many times and the insist that thiers is the only viewpoint, and just because the don't like something it's therefore wrong.

Zov · 06/09/2025 21:03

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 15:22

To me it is a women’s forum. Only women can be mums. Just like only men can be dads. The clue is in the forum name.

Women’s and men’s experiences differ significantly biologically, culturally, socially and emotionally. Women are not one homogeneous group but our experiences are shaped and shared as a result of the way in which society is constructed and how we understand experience is a result of that. Women seek out the opinions of other women because of these shared experiences and understandings.

Men can never understand women’s experiences because they are not women and are not consciously and subconsciously subject to the societal forces which women are. So for example, I might ask my DH’s opinion on a range of subjects like where to go on holiday, what to have for dinner, which sofa to buy. But I would not seek his opinion on what coercive control looks like, how to deal with bullying in the workplace (although I’d want his emotional support) or the best way to deal with menopausal symptoms, as examples.

You might want to do that, other women might want to do that, but I don’t. I can’t stop men from posting and I would respond to a man if I felt like it - I do draw distinction between genuine men asking for advice (and like I said before, I get embarrassed if there’s an unjustified pile on) and those just generally pitching in with advice in response to women’s issues/concerns. That does give me the ick.

MN might now be “for parents”/anyone but it didn’t start out like that. If it was “Parentsnet” and aimed equally at women and men, I’d bet my last dollar that it wouldn’t have been as successful. Women liked having a safe space to chat and discuss their issues - given as many as 1:4 women have been victims of SA, many women are understandably cautious and downright afraid of men. The male voice almost always dominates when a space is shared because we live in a patriarchal society.

At the end of the day this is my opinion - that’s it - just my opinion. But sometimes I just want to scream “FFS just let us have something just for us - stop always having to encroach on women’s spaces!”

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100% this.

Problem is @Youdontseehow most men just can't stand the thought of women having something to themselves. Something they enjoy. Something they BENEFIT from. Even my DH had a whinge once as to how it was soooo unfair that the Womens Institute didn't allow men, and it's sooooo sexist. Like as if he would go anyway, even if he WAS allowed. I said 'create the MENS INSTITUTE then if you're that bothered!' He was just like

And a woman I knew once had her own little womens group at her house every couple of weeks for chat and coffees and teas, and one of the womens husbands asked his wife to ask the host if he could come. She said no. It's just for women. A private meet up group for women. He said 'not fair' too! Again, it was suggested to him that he creates a mens meet up group. He also frowned, and pouted like a toddler - but did fuck-all about it.

Some men don't want to join in with women really, they just want to stop women having private, safe, secure spaces where they can discuss womens issues/life's issues in general. And they poke their nose in, and stick their oar in to try and derail it. As you say, there are many things that women just can't discuss with men. Or don't WANT to discuss. And there are many MANY issues women face that men don't have a fucking clue about!

As I said, I find it very odd that men want to come here. Genuinely, really weird.

And I don't care if SOME women on here 'don't want to be on a women only forum.' Some women do. And nobody has any right to tell them that they have no right to feel this way! No matter how much they would like to.

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 21:19

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 06/09/2025 20:33

I have indeed heard of Google which is why I said that "when I became a single father some years back I looked around a lot and I found nothing comparable to the wealth of UK-specific parenting advice that I found here."

I assume that all you did was Google for "single father" or similar and not gone any further than that. I put way more effort in than that and quickly realised that sites such as dadmatters and breaking dad are nothing like mumsnet, dadinfo and dadsnet are pretty much dead, and FNF is aimed primarily at fathers who had little or no contact with their children and wanted that to change. None of those were as helpful as mumsnet was and I'd like to think that I've repaid that over the years with the advice I've been able to give about topics I have a lot of experience in.

In short, I was indeed arsed to look and found out that the suggestions you gave here are useless. But I guess it was easier for you to do a knee-jerk "men are shit" than to actually think about why I wrote what I wrote. That kind of attitude is one of the downsides of mumsnet but on balance I think the good stuff outweighs that kind of tedious crap.

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Actually if you were to re-read my posts you would note that I said I didn’t mind genuine men coming in looking for advice and would reply to such a post if I felt like I had something to offer. I’m just not a fan of men commenting in response to general women’s issues. And as I keep saying - it’s my opinion - nothing more, nothing less. I definitely don’t think all men are shit - but I do wish women could have spaces just for them as IMHO, men’s voices tend to dominate in mixed spaces.

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 21:19

BluePearOntheRocks · 06/09/2025 20:50

why on earth should a father NOT use mumsnet?

You google something, and it's a MN thread. You talk at a baby group, someone mentions MN, it's often in the press.

There's absolutely no reason whatsoever to look at a thread, and think no, musn't read the info or the banter, because I am not a MUM. Ridiculous.

I don't want to be on a "woman only forum:" either frankly,

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Ok.

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 21:19

5128gap · 06/09/2025 19:15

I think this is what's known as a straw man. You are vehemently arguing something when I've not said anything to the contrary.
While choosing not to respond to my point about whether a decent man would insert himself onto a thread where women are discussing rape, often their own, to tell them off because they don't say NAMALT? Do you think a decent man would do this?

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It's not a strawman and arguing against using "some" is the same thing

We aren't talking about the difference between a decent man and a bastard

We are on about whether men belong here

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 21:21

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 20:23

You’ve presumably heard of Google? Or are you just used to asking women to do the grafting for you?

Gingerbread Single dads
Dadmatters
Dadinfo
dadsnet
Families need fsthers
the breaking dad

basically there’s plenty of you can be arsed to look

Show quote history

And how recent are those? How active? How useful?

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 21:21

Zov · 06/09/2025 21:03

100% this.

Problem is @Youdontseehow most men just can't stand the thought of women having something to themselves. Something they enjoy. Something they BENEFIT from. Even my DH had a whinge once as to how it was soooo unfair that the Womens Institute didn't allow men, and it's sooooo sexist. Like as if he would go anyway, even if he WAS allowed. I said 'create the MENS INSTITUTE then if you're that bothered!' He was just like

And a woman I knew once had her own little womens group at her house every couple of weeks for chat and coffees and teas, and one of the womens husbands asked his wife to ask the host if he could come. She said no. It's just for women. A private meet up group for women. He said 'not fair' too! Again, it was suggested to him that he creates a mens meet up group. He also frowned, and pouted like a toddler - but did fuck-all about it.

Some men don't want to join in with women really, they just want to stop women having private, safe, secure spaces where they can discuss womens issues/life's issues in general. And they poke their nose in, and stick their oar in to try and derail it. As you say, there are many things that women just can't discuss with men. Or don't WANT to discuss. And there are many MANY issues women face that men don't have a fucking clue about!

As I said, I find it very odd that men want to come here. Genuinely, really weird.

And I don't care if SOME women on here 'don't want to be on a women only forum.' Some women do. And nobody has any right to tell them that they have no right to feel this way! No matter how much they would like to.

Edited

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Yeah but apparently it’s not fair on the men who seem to really value our opinions on MN…..if only the same was true in real life.

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 21:22

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 21:21

And how recent are those? How active? How useful?

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I’m not sure and I don’t really care. I’m not a dad and I don’t want to be on dads’ forums. If they’re not active then that’s not my concern.

IDontHateRainbows · 06/09/2025 21:24

Jeez its not the 19th century when the men went to play billiards after dinner and the women went to a different room .

I don't care who posts bjt yes the ones who feel the need to announce their maleness are annoying.

It's still not a female only forum though.

LimbOnTheBranchBranchOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheBog · 06/09/2025 21:30

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 06/09/2025 20:19

Do you think the only involvement men have here is to insert their opinions into threads about VAWG?

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I would check your posting history and some of your views about women before defending why men are on here.

Very telling.

GleisZwei · 06/09/2025 21:36

Several posters have accused me of being male simply because I've disagreed with them on a random topic (not anything related to feminism, rights of biological women, etc). I'm most definitely female though.
TBH if we rule out dads, who actually have children, then shouldn't we also rule out childless women, who also aren't actually mums? Or, are we sensible enough to know that different perspectives can sometimes be helpful? 🤔

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 06/09/2025 21:36

LimbOnTheBranchBranchOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheBog · 06/09/2025 21:30

I would check your posting history and some of your views about women before defending why men are on here.

Very telling.

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Which thought-crimes you think I'm guilty of do you have in mind? Be specific.

ZanzibarIsland · 06/09/2025 21:39

I don't mind men posting as long as they don't pretend to be women to push their MRA or incel agenda. Let's not pretend this never happens.

Zov · 06/09/2025 21:44

I'm not shocked to hear that @ZanzibarIsland ^ Also, I bet you will struggle to find women posing as MEN on 'MENS' forums. Yet men pose as women on WOMENS fourms. I wonder why? 🤔

LimbOnTheBranchBranchOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheBog · 06/09/2025 21:54

GasperyJacquesRoberts · 06/09/2025 21:36

Which thought-crimes you think I'm guilty of do you have in mind? Be specific.

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I don't know what your "thought" crimes are, that's between you and whatever deity you believe in, but, as I say, your posting history is very telling.

Just search your name and key words, such as woman, and it's all laid out how you try and minimise and belittle women (such as your little "thought crime" dig, when, in fact it its all laid out in black and white).

I'm sure you're a nice guy, and you were provoked/didn't mean it like that/women can't take a joke though.

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 21:57

ZanzibarIsland · 06/09/2025 20:43

How do you know?

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Because it's happened to me before

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:00

Youdontseehow · 06/09/2025 21:22

I’m not sure and I don’t really care. I’m not a dad and I don’t want to be on dads’ forums. If they’re not active then that’s not my concern.

Edited

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But that's pertinent to why they use MN...

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:02

ZanzibarIsland · 06/09/2025 21:39

I don't mind men posting as long as they don't pretend to be women to push their MRA or incel agenda. Let's not pretend this never happens.

Edited

There was also a very famous case of a white woman pretending to black woman...
Don't act like it's a surprise people lie online

NoThanksNeeded · 06/09/2025 22:04

And I don't care if SOME women on here 'don't want to be on a women only forum.' Some women do. And nobody has any right to tell them that they have no right to feel this way! No matter how much they would like to

Except that the site itself is openly for anyone...

Which means, you should maybe take your own advice and make a new site just for women if you don't agree with men being legitimately here

kathmacc · 06/09/2025 22:10

It’s called Mumsnet because it’s for Mums. It’s not called “appropriate adult, Dad, Stepmum, Aunt, foster Mum etc” - because it’s a Mum’s group.

LovelySunnyDayToday · 06/09/2025 22:15

kathmacc · 06/09/2025 22:10

It’s called Mumsnet because it’s for Mums. It’s not called “appropriate adult, Dad, Stepmum, Aunt, foster Mum etc” - because it’s a Mum’s group.

Exactly!!

Digdongdoo · 06/09/2025 22:19

LimbOnTheBranchBranchOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheBog · 06/09/2025 21:54

I don't know what your "thought" crimes are, that's between you and whatever deity you believe in, but, as I say, your posting history is very telling.

Just search your name and key words, such as woman, and it's all laid out how you try and minimise and belittle women (such as your little "thought crime" dig, when, in fact it its all laid out in black and white).

I'm sure you're a nice guy, and you were provoked/didn't mean it like that/women can't take a joke though.

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