Aibu to message my friend?

[Roundmirrors]

My best friend went into labour 5 days ago messaged me to say it was all happening, very exciting, she was about to go into hospital etc etc... we have been through thick and thin together and besties since we were little.
It's now 5 days on and I still haven't heard anything more. I have messaged her, but she hasn't read my message (it has been received). I'm really worried about her/baby.
Aibu to consider messaging her family members to check everything is ok? The more time passes, the more worried I am. It's just so unlike her to not message... 😢

Sorry title is wrong! Should say 'message my friend's family'!

I’d message her again perhaps a text if the last message was WhatsApp. Hospitals can have awful reception so it could be that they are still there and not able to reply or for the read signal to get through.

If not reply by tomorrow, then yes to messaging the brother. You could also call the hospital to see if they will tell you if she is still there.

If her DH has been handling the announcement (assuming all ok) and he doesn't have your number then he won't have thought about the fact you haven't been updated.

I would call friend in case she just hasn't been reading messages due to sleeping/feeding but she might answer a call.

I would message her brother yes.

Imagine asking your DH to broadcast the news
and not ensuring or never having given him your absolute best friends number

I don't have my best friend's husband's number, never needed it
Best friends for 25 years

Why would she? My friends have never had my partners or husbands number

You have already reached out once and that is enough. Five days is nothing when it comes to giving birth and many new mums want space at this time.
It can be overwhelming dealing with multiple messages from people so I would hold off.

so my two closest friends of 32 years

I have their husband’s number and have had for many years. Why?

surprise birthday party
when one had sepsis and couldn’t message so he kept us informed
when one lost her phone and didn’t have one for a week

I could go on

Eh?

I don't have the phone numbers of any of my friends' husbands. Why would you, unless you were a close friend of the husband as well?

Seems in most cases people don't. I was ill in hospital for a month. He just used my phone to send messages when I couldn't.

If you are close then yes, message her brother ( who I assume you know wekk if you're best mates). Every time my best mates ( and even close friends) went into labour they or their partners updated pretty soon after the birth so you are right to be worried if it's out of character.

So what you're saying is that there were specific reasons why you happened to have their husbands' numbers. OK, fine - but that's very different from having them 'just in case' as a matter of course, which is what some people seem to be suggesting is the norm.

Have you checked social media? Some people do a one-and-done general birth announcement on whichever platform they use (bonkers to me but people do)
I’d be worried and would ring her. Then would try her mum or another close relative.

I only get numbers if I need them. I don’t have a personal relationship with any of my friends husbands therefore don’t have them. Including the one I’ve known five years longer than I’ve known his wife!

I think on balance I would.

I'm sure it's as simple as she's lost her phone and in the newborn bubble she's not got around to tracking down your number but I'd be deeply uncomfortable to have not heard by this stage.

I say this as someone who had DC3 unexpectedly transferred to NICU immediately after birth (and diagnosed 2 weeks later with a rare genetic condition). I was still updating my nearest and dearest even whilst in NICU with my baby but it was just the odd picture and message to family and a few close friends. I guess I just knew people would be worried otherwise?

Edited to add I don't have any of my oldest friends' partners numbers (one I've know for 40 years!)

Well of course I would message the friend again and/or ring

I don't know why you wouldn't.

If there's no success still then yes I would perhaps try family

Yes I'd message her brother. Going into labour 5 days ago and then no birth announcement is worrying. When my best friend had her baby she messaged me morning after once baby's father had been able to visit. I'd have been climbing the walls with worry after 5 days.

Yes I would definitely message a family member at this point.

As an aside, since experiencing a health scare I’ve made sure I have the contact details for close friends partners/ family and vice versa. You never know when you might need it.

Why are you focusing on that? I've got a really close group of friends that I've known for 25 years and don't have any of their husbands/partners numbers, the same as they don't have my husbands number

She has messaged. She hasn’t replied.

FWIW - one of my friends was in labour for almost 10 days in hospital. She ended up having to have an emergency caesarean. Her and baby were fine considering, but she was very out of it on lots of drugs and pain relief so didn’t really have the capacity to keep updating people.

what a strange comment. I don’t have my best mates husbands number because I’ve literally never needed it, he and I are not hanging out without her (as great a guy as he is) and I’ve messaged him on Insta the one time I wanted to ask if they could fit the furniture gift I was buying her

edited as read op properly.

Can you call her just leave a message - thinking of you hope your ok kind of thing if she doesn’t answer. She’s your best friend in her position I would appreciate the care and wouldn’t see it as hassle.

I'd message. I hope shes ok