Friends judging my side business because I’m a high earner

[Katee91]

I work a stressful but very (financially) rewarding job - comfortably 6 figures with generous bonuses. My DH out earns me and I know we are very fortunate in that respect.

I’m attempting to turn a hobby/passion into a small side business and have spoken to various friends about it.

More or less all of them have questioned why I need to do this as they don’t feel I need the money. That isn’t the motivating factor though, it’s for enjoyment and linked to my passion.

AIBU to feel a bit upset at their outlook with this? Even after I explain my reasons they still turn it back to money.

I don’t think it’s jealousy as my DH suggested, but I just feel a bit deflated and that my friends should be supporting me..

I literally said with respect and that I wasn't intending to be argumentative. And I didn't say 'you don't have to understand', I said 'no one has to understand'.

I've said YABU, but for the following reason: if you don't need the extra money, and aren't planning on giving up your main job and having this be your only income, I'd be wary of turning something I enjoy into job. Keep enjoying it as something you choose to do when you want to, rather than something that has an element of obligation to it.

Yes, like lots of people "I'm not racist but..." You're coming across snippy to me.

Talk about getting snippy. You go and enjoy getting randomly defensive just because you're embarrassed you got it wrong – knock yourself out. Read posts properly next time and you won't get confused.

I hope your mood improves and you have a better day tomorrow.

Your husband is right and I’d also be looking at what they bring to your life and whether they are proper friends or just “friends”

There's nothing wrong at all with wanting to have a commercial side hustle while you're in that sort of job. I suspect you don't want to do the stressful but lucrative job forever, and would like to build up a Plan B that you enjoy, and that makes enough money for you to live on without being at your current level, to move into in future - is that right?
If you present it that way, friends may understand more that it's not about greed.

I'm sooooo rich all my friends are jealous. Sad face - what did I do wrong.

Don't tell them any more about it. By far the most effective way to stop people throwing negative vibes your way. It's a shame but sometimes it's for the best.

If you ever see a 'friend' smile when you tell them something didn't work out for you, it changes how you move through the world. I'm about to try something that no one knows about. I watch YouTube videos of people doing the thing I'm interested in. I use that for motivation instead of seeking it in others. Once it's up and running I may share but I might not.

Hope it works out for you ❤

I was going to say something like this. I have a friend who writes books. I buy a copy and get her to sign it but it’s never enough - she wants me to put a review on Amazon, promote her (fairly niche) book on social media - I am not going to be good at promotion.

Are you expecting them to buy your 'very outing' hobby trinkets? or promote them on their social media? I never understand why everyone on mumsnet thinks their or their husbands hobbies are so outing 😂If you want to sell your stuff sign up for a stall at your local art fair and leave your friends alone.

I really don’t think you are the brightest, your logic is a bit off…..that’s all I have to say

And I hope you stop comparing people to racist because you haven’t read their posts properly.

As usual, OP hasn't returned after first page. OP, btw, have you got approval from your current employer to have another job?

It's not a job though

The OP doesn’t have buckets of money, she’s comfortably off.

It really doesn’t have to be obvious unless the person in question actually features on the Forbes rich list or is a wannabe reality tv figure. I have friends that live in £2- £10m houses who are actually very cash poor and can’t afford holidays and school fees. At the other end of the spectrum I know a billionaire family who drive 10 year old cars and never leave the country. Long haul trips can be budget affairs or £50k a week travelling in first class.

The fact that the OPs friends have such a lot to say about it, and the way the OP talks on this thread, makes me think they know a lot more about her finances than they should. Of course the other possibility is that all of her friends are just extremely presumptive but I think the evidence points more to the former explanation.

If one of my friends earned a lot of money and said they wanted to have another job on top of it, I'd also be asking them to re-consider. I just don't believe in working till you drop if you've already got plenty of money.
It's definitely not jealousy!

Even if it was, not everybody has than in their contract.

It might just be the people I surround myself with, but I think people nowadays appreciate a better work life balance and question why there is a need for people to constantly monetise hobbies; hobbies can be just that.

Probably jealous even if not intentionally I’m a bit jealous/ shows me up a bit as I can’t be this productive!

It’s none of their business OP! If you wan’t to, go for it, best of luck x

Why does everyone expect their friends to jump up and down and be so interested in everything they do?!? People have their own lives, worries and passions. If you want to start a business get on with it … why do you need to run it by a load of friends and then moan when they aren’t that bothered or on board with it?!?

‘Buckets of money’ is just a phrase – a relative one at that.

I didn’t say it ‘had’ to be obvious. I said it was fairly obvious, and in my opinion it is. I can tell who out of my friends and family who is more well off – from what they wear, their houses, their activities, their holidays, what cars they drive, what their kids have/wear/do, what jobs they have. Most adults have a good idea of what costs what and what jobs generally pay what.

Talking at extreme ends isn’t relevant or useful. In all likelihood, OP’s friends can tell how comfortable off she is – her job, her DH’s job and having a lot of holidays will be all the information they need.

If that's what you want to do do it. What others think is up to them but shouldn't get in the way of your plans. Simple don't ask for their approval/opinion.

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