To think this is a really awful thing to say? Tw

[Goldyy]

Referring to children who don’t have behavioural issues or SEND as ‘normal’ children?

You're absolutely right.
I'm finding it hard to understand whether it's just lack of understanding/ knowledge or something deeper/ more sinister?

I honestly think there’s some very lonely, bored and bitter people on this site who enjoy posting inflammatory nonsense just for attention. It’s pitiful really.

But SEND is special educational needs and disability. I can see why SEN would be annoying. Those with asd etc also have challenges outside of school. Although if had my way the world special would just be dumped entirely.

My thoughts exactly. Normal is a perfectly... normal word to use to describe anything within standard parameters. My DS was really tall for his age but now he's normal height as his friends have caught up.

Yep. Some bloody awful posts standing on this thread!

My child has adhd and we get DLA. He does part time school and can’t attend holiday clubs so I have have to work less hours and term time as we can’t use childcare and clubs. We have been waiting years for a diagnosis and had to pay private to get the help we need as he was at the point where he could no longer cope with school. We have to pay thousands of pounds each year for private adhd care and medication as nhs won’t take over care. School weren’t providing him with work so we have to fund a tutor and pay for additional resources to home educate to make up all the hours he’s missing in education. I would give up DLA in a heartbeat if it meant my child didn’t have to struggle with life like he does and it also puts a lot of stress on us as a family dealing with it all with little help from nhs and school. You sound unpleasant and ignorant. You have no idea what parents of SEN children are going through.

I think a lot of people don’t realise that it is close to impossible to get wrap around/holiday care for school aged children with complex SEND. I’ve had to drastically reduce my working hours to accommodate this. Our DLA is barely a tenth of my lost income. Not to mention the cost of therapies etc.

Yeah it’s not great, but what other terminology should be used instead? I had abit of a strange one trying to explain this to my 5 year old daughter. As school at an SEND only school trip and all my daughters friends went on it, how do I explain this to a 5 year old 🤦‍♀️

By telling them that those children find life tricker than she does, and require extra help/support?

Yes but they went to her favourite place and why couldn't she go with her friends also. It did feel very unfair as as nearly half her class went. SEND children still go on normal class school trips.

Exactly what I said… because they find life more difficult than she does, so need some extra help and support! And that she’ll have plenty of opportunities in life to do fun things that they may not be able to do/access. It sounds like you’re the one begrudging these children the trip TBH.

Maybe ‘non SEND children’ might be better terminology.

As someone diagnosed with Asperger’s, I can categorically say that I’d never describe myself normal 😅

People get offended by the strangest things. Surely ‘normal’ is just a clumsy word for ‘typical’ in this context?

It wouldn’t even slightly offend me to hear someone comment on normal children. Although nowadays a child without some kind of SEN seems to be in the minority. How did that happen?

hmm it was very discriminatory towards non SEN children. I am ADHD myself so I can explain it, just seemed an odd school trip, there is no ‘none SEN’ school trips, where they can just be without the SEN children.

I mean, I’d swap all the extra trips in the world for my child not to have SEND.

Fundamental misunderstanding of discriminatory.

Disabled children miss out on so many trips and opportunities. I will probably never be able to take my disabled children abroad, if they went to mainstream school I wouldn't want no children to be able to go abroad.

I'm sure you can find a way to explain it to your child. Although, maybe you won't be able to explain it, If you think it is the same as having a 'non-SEND' only trip. An equivalent would be the difference between a social group set up for the handful of black or minority ethnicity children in a class versus a 'white children only' social group.

I understand that, my daughter probably will have adhd also, it just felt unfair to the non sen children. As my daughter does make a really effort to get on with all children including Sen, she’s really caring and I have taught her to be understanding of SEN children and everyone is different, it just didn’t make sense as the children mainly get on well and help each other. Think it just segregates the children and highlights differences, but not in the right way.

I don’t think I would use the term, but the term is accurate- typical, standard, usual or expected? I don’t think it means someone with SEN is lesser-than, just that they are ‘non-typical’ hence having special educational needs or disabilities?

I heard a (very obviously ND) teenager in a shop today saying 'I'm not diagnosed, I'm peer reviewed' 🤣

There are loads of things that will be ‘unfair’ to the children with SEND over their life times.

Yes sure there will be for both SEN and non SEN. Just think making such a segregation when so young just isn’t good for either child.

I don’t think it deserves a trigger warning and I don’t worry if people use it because they usually just don’t know that ‘typical’ or ‘typically developing’ are the terms usually used.

That said, the opposite of normal is abnormal and there’s more than a whiff of the pejorative about that. I understand why typical is the word usually used by professionals and families of children with additional needs.

Do you feel the same when special activities are organised for young carers? Do you think they should organise a separate event for non young carers?

I think you just have to accept that some people are a bit thick, not because they have any additional needs but because they’ve never needed to / tried to consider life outside of their own sphere unless they’re looking for someone to blame for their own dissatisfaction with life.