To be putoff intimacy with DP due to this?

[Justinegh]

DP and I are doing the deed a lot more regularly at the moment because we are ttc. This is usually in the evening when we first get into bed.

DP has a habit of going to the loo for several minutes before he joins me. I told him I find this off putting and unhygienic and asked if he can wait until after or go earlier in the day.

He just doesn’t see the issue and how someone would find it off putting.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable or would this annoy you too? It just seems stupid timing when you know you are going to be intimate with someone. It’s not a one off, it’s most occasions.

I've travelled lots. Clearly I need to sign up for a few toilet tours.

I want a bum gun

Sorry, that posted twice

Which direction would you fire it in? Upwards or forwards - which seems to me it might blast everything in the direction of a nasty uti.

I suppose downwards?

Well I can't believe you've never come across a bum gun before then

I can understand wanting him to wash afterwards. It might not bother some people, which is okay, but if it does bother you, that’s okay too. My husband wouldn’t have an issue with being asked to wash and neither would I.

If it’s simply the fact that your husband just pooped* a minute ago that is gross or unsexy to you, I think that’s a little extreme. It’s a bodily function everyone has - and if you two do have a baby, trust me, he’s going to be around all kinds of potentially gross bodily functions from you if he’s there when the baby is born. If you have a c-section, he’ll even get to see the doctor move your intestines!

*Yeah, I know people say “poo” in the UK, but I can’t say it without feeling like I’m LARPing a British person.

Actually I genuinely haven't. Lots of bidets but they don't tend to have any high power water features. It's more of a garden hose type slosh, or a tap to fill the bowl.

Patent that asap, you might be on to something! 🐶

I might be wrong (it’s not like I was checking, I just saw them doing it a couple times) but I’m pretty sure it was just wet wipes.

We’re only talking about “one” willy here. 😆😂

I don't get this at all, if he pooped at 2 pm would that put you off sex if he didn't shower beforehand? Or is it just that he goes immediately prior?

Imagine the affronted looks on a cat's face or the yowl of a dog if you fired a bum gun at their anus.

If you ever transit through the middle east pop in the airport toilets , Doha, Dubai, Amman etc all have them lol.

I have one at home ( although we had to put some special plumbing in) as well as much prefer to wash that wipe with a bit of tissue or ruin the environment with wet wipes.

And aim down and backwards while seated lol

The amount of Mumsnetters who are terrified of human bodies is truly astounding.

I go to the local car wash for a full hose down just to be sure.

Indeed

🤣🤣

“Ma’am, how very dare you!”

The amount of mumsnetters who don’t live in small properties with teenagers and are simply grateful to get 2 mins of privacy to do anything remotely intimate with your partner that you will take them any which way they come! 🤣😂

Firstly- this thread needs to go into Classics. Crying laughing here.

Secondly- putting a pin in the total lack of spontaneity between co-habiting couples when talking about a mandatory pre-shag shower... when I was single, I would quite frequently either go on a date after work and sleep with the person, and I would have definitely dumped at some point during the day and not been able to shower between that and the date. It certainly didn't stop me getting about!

He needs to gun his bum with a bum gun before he guns the bum of his bum chum with his bum gun.

Ah! I hadn't thought of seated.

I was imagining standing up for some reason ... maybe bending forwards ... It all seemed quite inefficient.

😂😂

Down and backwards according to RubySquid.

This reminds me of the thread on here where I learned that some people wipe their arses stood up and facing towards the toilet.