How much would you expect to spend weekly if your DH earned this?

[Righan]

DH earns around 170k.

I gave up work (well paid also, around 80k) to look after dc. I was used to spending what I wanted when I was working.

i have access to the money, that’s not the issue.

I spend around 250 a week for me a one dc for our activities, getting my hair done (not every week for that but an example), nails, lunch, soft play, farms, zoo, or whatever. Our other expenses like food and petrol are on top of this. We do online shop.

DH can’t understand how I get through this and wants me to rein it in. I think it’s hugely stingy given his income. We are comfortable. AIBU? We only really see him at weekends and part of me feels he should have no say in what we do to get through the week!!

If my OH was earning that amount I certainly wouldn’t be chucking money at a hair stylist or nail technician quite so frequently!

Alot of that is taxed. Take home is £100k. That's a lot but given the number is easy to calculate that 13%. You still have lots left over but it does seem excessive regardless of context

How much of the €8,500 pm is used up?

I don't think €250 is too much for what you're spending it on.

Another way to look at that is you need to earn £26k (due to 50% tax)

Sarcastic right? Our income id vastly in excess of the OP and there’s no way we’d fritter it away on such shallow nonsense. Save for your kids future, or possible redundancy or early retirement instead.

We hope to be able to give our kids a flat each in their early 20s, if we don’t need to raid the savings for redundancy or ill heath. Maybe OP’s partner thinks similarly. Why waste money just for the sake of it?

I agree. I don’t think £250 a week is excessive. You could cut it back a bit say to £200 but life is for living and you only get one chance when your kids are little.

I still hate that Covid robbed me of 2 years of my kids little years so have fun whilst you can!

And no, I don’t feed a family of 6 for a week on a mumsnet whole chicken

But it’s not a waste if you’re spending it on things you enjoy?

if you’re saving for retirement etc there could be a balance.

i know people like this who dropped dead within 2 weeks of retirement and never got to enjoy it

I think the responses here are strange. Things cost money. I don't think you should be expected to sit at home or go to church groups if you can afford not to, which you can.

Surely this money ends up becoming money spent on swimming lessons/ clubs and weekends trips as they get older anyway.

I agree.

And as the OP pointed out, it would cost more than £250 a week to put a child in full time nursery, even with 'funding'.

I don't think people realise how much goes on tax and NI at this level of salary. A family with one person earning £170k has about the same net income as a family with two people earning £65k. Its a decent income but it isn't vast riches and it isn't the sort of income where you would expect to be able to fritter away £250 a week

Yes but the OP would then be working and bringing in money

Yes but op would be working then and saving towards a pension etc too

I could totally understand op expecting her husband to invest a decent chunk in a pension for her each month, but frittering it away when they are solely dependent on his income seems very short sighted.

Another money thread that is absolutely staggering and out of touch with everyone I know in real life.
I don’t know a single person who earns £170k and here every other person does!

Our income slighyly exceeds the OP's household income, we manage to enjoy some "frivolous" luxuries every month alongside saving for the future. If hair and nails once in a while make the OP happy, why should her hubby deny her this? It's not like he isn't in the top 1% earners in the UK! Or should motherhood be a soul destroying period of martyrdom where fun days out and beauty treatments should be forfeited? I would understand more if the OP's partner was supporting the family on a 30k per year salary but come on!

My husband makes around half of that - 80k - and I am currently a student. My ‘fun money’ is £300 a month or 75 a week. So on your husband’s salary perhaps £600 a month or £150 a week would be more normal.

£1200 on fun money is a shit tonne of cash OP. I’m not surprised if he’d rather save more. If you disagree it may be time for a bigger discussion around savings, when you’re going back to work etc.

Good God, so many dour, mirthless posters on here. Surely one of the joys of money is that it can buy you frivolous stuff that makes you happy? Not every purchase has to be morally edifying or ethically valid FFS.

He probably feels he contributes quite enough without paying out for your spendthrift ways.

That seems an enormous amount of money to spend when most entertainment for a toddler/small child can be free/very cheap e.g. visit the park, picnic, go to the library, join a toddler group, go swimming (not free, but not exhorbitant and you could buy a set of toddler swimming lessons). That's more than a 1k a month you are spending on trivia - 12k a year (some people's income btw). Not surprised your DH thinks you should cut down. Good income, yes, but wasting money is foolish - you may need that money one day.

I personally don’t think that’s too much, I probably spend approx £500 a month on beauty treatments. I don’t class this as fun money either.

Bur being a SAHM and having the quality of life you want whilst at home only works whilst both partners are in agreement. I’d be going back to work.

We only really see him at weekends and part of me feels he should have no say in what we do to get through the week!!

like others I really hate this statement. He’s earning all the money! Yes you’re looking after his child which counts for something and is enabling his career - but it would be cheaper for the child to be in nursery than the current set up of losing your £80k income while you spend £250 a week of money he’s earning for the family as well. I don’t think it’s fair to say he should have “no say” and makes me pretty uncomfortable.

Out of interest, how do you spend that much? I spend about £150 (hair colour every 5 weeks, brows and lashes every 6 weeks or so and nails monthly ish) so I’m not coming from a place of judgement, just curious!

I don't think £250 a week (presumably until you go back to work when the kids go to school?) is too much when he's a high earner. We are currently a 42k (after tax) household in the North and we can easily spend £150/200 per week on family/personal enjoyment.

Even getting the train into town with the kids, getting lunch, then an activity, then snacks/drinks or little treats or whatever easily adds up to £50+. Everything is expensive.

Enjoy this short time with your babies by not worrying about scrimping about local church groups and the library. How dull.

You should also enjoy looking and feeling good about yourself. Good for you for prioritising yourself, too!

Other (much richer, apparently) people might not want to 'fritter' 1k a month on enjoying their lives, and would rather save for some future goal. That's great, but as another poster said, that future isn't promised.

Just tell him when you go back to work you'll top the savings back up 🤷🏻‍♀️

This website seems to attract some of the highest earners in the country!

This website seems to attract some of the highest earners in the country!....allegedly!