Don’t want Dh to start getting home from work earlier

[Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays]

Dh used to get home from work around 6 onwards, in summer they’ve been going into work earlier and arriving home earlier at 4.30, due to the heat. They’ve all decided they prefer this at his workplace and will stick with these hours.
I pick Dd, 6 up from school and am home for 3.30, I really used to enjoy this time for just us, we’d have a snack and cuddle up together on the sofa, read books, watch tv and chat, we’d then maybe play for a bit, take the dog for a walk, then i’d get dinner ready later.
It just takes this away with Dh arriving not long after, changes the dynamic
At weekends we’re all home and also she’s at friends houses or has friends around

Aibu to be sad at missing this quiet time just for us?

Usually the way 🙄

Yep, I keep reminding myself that once they're both teenagers they won't want to spend any time with me at all, so I'm trying to make the most of it!

Same ❤️

Yep, I keep reminding myself that once they're both teenagers they won't want to spend any time with me at all, so I'm trying to make the most of it!
Thats not necessarily true.
Our teens spent loads of time with us going to gigs, restaurants, sporting events theatre cinema, skiing, hiking, climbing, mountain biking, motorbiking wild camping etc. Now they are in their 20s , nothing has changed except their girlfriends join in with us which is great.

Very sad you think like this about your DH. Many women would love to have a husband back early to be around. He is a parent aswell and deserves to also enjoy family time. Perhaps you need to realise a child benefits from quality time with both parents. Instead of a workaholic husband rocking in at 10 pm you have one that is in time for tea/ dinner. In my view , the children will remember that and if I was you I’d encourage them and him to have time alone on some of those days too.

I hope you realise aswell that it’s not just your interests that are important but what is good all round

Ok, you have no idea!

Why not give people an idea, then?

so why are you staying with this poor guy if you don't want him around you or your child
do you just see him as sperm donor bill payer and cash machine or something

It all reads a bit like that sadly, doesn't it?

I totally understand that she had this nice routine with her daughter previously, that she now feels is a bit disrupted by her DH arriving home earlier from work than he used to.

However, I totally do not understand why she can't simply ask her DH to leave them be say 2 afternoons a week, say, &/or that she can't adapt the routine to include some daughter dad time into the new routine, etc, etc, etc.

Sorry the OP is coming across as selfish & self centred, and doesn't seem to think including her DH & the father of her daughter in spending special time (I.e more family time) with his daughter, is just as important as her spending time with her, in her previous, so, so precious routine. This is both very wrong & very sad imho.

I feel kinda sorry for you OP, that you can't seemingly be a more inclusive parent & put your DC's needs ahead of yours more often. Sad.

Wow

Maybe start planting ideas of all the interesting hobbies he could take up for a few hours after work? Buy a joint gym membership and take turns going? I get it OP, I hope you can work something out.

Please stop trying to justify your feelings.

You will always get posters that absolutely refuse to see a perfectly reasonable post

Why don’t you stop making these one word answers and actually provide some detail. Otherwise get the thread deleted as you’re just wasting people’s time.

Thank you 🙏

You’re right I shouldn’t, thank you 🙏

Yanbu to feel sad about it but you can’t really do anything about it.
I get it as my husband had a hobby which meant he wasn’t home one evening a week and those evenings me and my youngest used to snuggle up and watch her old childhood favourite films together. He’s given up the hobby now so we don’t get to do it anymore and I miss it!

Why don't you suggest that you both use that time to go the gym/swim/whatever you want to do twice a week and then go do something all together on the other day That way you both get a bit of 1 on 1 time with your son, you end up happier and healthier and still do an extra something as a family.

Thing is @Alltheladshaveweirdhaircutsthesedays your opening posts did seem very selfish as if you didn't want DH having special time with DD. Your latter posts seem to infer that your DH is a bit crap when it comes to family. So it might be easier if you di give more detail in respect of that.

I understand it is hard when things change and DC get older and friends etc become more and more important (DS off to university so we are in massive change mode here!) But if when he was younger DH had more time in the afternoon to spend with DS, although I would miss my 1:1 time with DS I wouldn't begrudge DH having time with him. But there seem to be deeper issues here with you

Why can’t you continue that? DH may want to do his own thing anyway …

Is your DH annoying then? If so, what does he do?

I love it when my DH comes home early from work and so do our DC. Stops them asking me where dad is 67 times after school too 🤣

She won't tell. Much more mysterious this way. Or something. Weird thread at this point.

It is, isn’t it.

The OP doesn’t want her husband around, and it clearly has little to do with having alone time with her daughter.

Your dh might be tired after work and enjoy some me time?
that certainly looks like something easy to fix…