Would you be angry at this? Someone calm me down

[Autumnscoming1]

So I have some concerns about my DS’s health, I have done an e-consult to the GP awaiting a reply. So over the holidays i’ve been noticing frequent urination, thirst during the night, getting up to pee during the night which he never used to, verrucas on his feet that wont budge and nausea. I am concerned about diabetes. I have been working alot over the summer and have told relevant babysitters of my concerns. I informed MIL to cut back on sweets/cakes/no fizzy drinks etc, which in all fairness she seemed very concerned and said “yes well youll have to watch his diet” I went to pick DS up after work yesterday, to see a bottle of fanta in front of him, 2 large slabs of cake on his plate, and MIL forcing another one down him! I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!” I have had a number of conversations with her before this about the amount of cakes/pop etc she gives them, she agrees to my face, but I always turn up to find fizzy drinks/ sweets in excess in front of DS! I am fairly laid back about this sort of thing, fizzy drinks is a treat only and sweet stuff all in moderation. I feel so angry at mil for disregarding DS’s health. Luckily DS is back in school so no need to be in MIL’s care.

This might not read very well, I just needed a rant, sorry.

Get a glucose testing strip and test him or book with the nurse for a test. You might even be able to get that done at a pharmacy.

As to the rest, it’s a non-issue now so I’d let it go until you find out where you stand re diabetes.

Tell mil she won't be watching him again as you need to monitor his diet and she won't do that.
And don't feel bad for saying it. A fat dc with health issues isn't ideal. If it's preventable why wouldn't you do your best?
My mil told me our vegetarian dc would eat meat at her house when she had them.
So she never had them. Not until we divorced did they eat more than a biscuit there... While I was there also. Never went without me.

Thank you :) due a call back today

I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!”
At this point I would have said “then he’s not coming back here without us” (except I’d have got DP as she’s not my mum).

I'd be annoyed if MIL agreed to it but then disregarded your wishes.

She'll probably lose out long term because you are less likely to trust her looking after your son again.

YANBU. For a child with suspected diabetes - what is she trying to do? Kill him? Children that young shouldn't be having any fizzy drinks at all.

Don't leave him in her care again until you have an answer re: his general health, and even then, I wouldn't trust her. She's ignorant and dishonest.

Well she sees it as her job to spoil him and make him happy and have him love her. She sees it as your job to do all the work bits: hence why she said you would have to watch his diet. She has no intention of doing any of the work or anything that can prevent her from spoiling him/giving him what he wants. So, at least you know where she stands.

There's really no other solution: if she insists on damaging his health, she can’t be in sole charge of him. You’ll have to find alternative childcare. Wait for the diagnosis and take it from there.

Free child care is never free, as they say on mumsnet. She must not be allowed to babysit your child again or be left with him unsupervised.

If it was diabetes type one & his sugars were high (like those symptoms) hed of gone into dka by now which requires immediate hospital admission so not sure it could be type one, however buy a glucometer & some strips doesnt cost much and test him rather than waiting.

She sounds like a nightmare, I would be going low contact. Fuck that, how rude to disrespect your parenting decisions

Your son might have diabetes and instead of getting him tested urgently you’re on here moaning about your MIL giving him cake?!
Unbelievable. If it is is diabetes it is likely to be type 1 which needs insulin, yes he will have to be careful with what he eats and balancing sugar and insulin- but this isn’t the important issue here.
Undiagnosed type 1 diabetes is life threatening and your DS needs to see a doctor ASAP,
as in today! If you can’t see the GP call 111/take to A&E

Please get him tested as soon as possible - GP/practice nurse should be able to do a quick finger prick blood test.

Well firstly, you need your son to be tested asap. I can’t believe you’ve left it from when you first had concerns.
Secondly, if your MIL can’t respect your wishes, then she doesn’t have him alone in future.

If you suspect diabetes you are putting his life at risk by not getting him tested and faffing about telling people not to give him cake. No level of avoid sugar will help. Go to GP now, today!

I'm seriously astounded you're smart enough to link his symptoms to T1 but haven't done anything? You need to get him from school and do a test ASAP and prepare for what lies ahead.

If you are that worried about diabetes why haven't you got him tested already?
You do not need an e consult for this, undiagnosed diabetes is an emergency so you can just rock up at any A&E, minor injury, walk in clinic or request a same day gp appointment because as a child with the potential for type 1 diabetes they will prioritise it.

Erm… where on EARTH does it say i have not done anything. He his due GP call back today. His symptoms have been noticeable but inconsistent! Can be put down to the excessive hot weather we have had , noticeable YES but nothing to SCREAM at me “OMG diabetes!” It is when he began getting up to wee at night which only started 2 nights ago did I say “Ok, hnmm” this needs to be looked at.

Just to add YABU for prioritising your rant over getting him tested.

I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!

Yep, like a pp this would have met with 'Ok, Janet, well he won't be coming again then. It's absolutely negligent to ignore the fact that we are currently trying to get him tested for diabetes and for you to continue to shove sugar at him. It's like you are actively trying to make your grandson ill and we can't have that'.

But I'm quite gobby.

I will say again, call back TODAY therefore he will be seen TODAY.

You said you've been concerned over the summer and enough to ask people lookong after him to avoid seeets yet didnt think a test would be a good start? Yeah you need to get the poor and I hope for everyone it's something else.

noticing over the summer yes. Concern sparked a couple of nights ago when the night time weeing began, where the DR was contacted immediatley and father/mil told

So gp called and he is being taken down today

That's good, wishing you luck that it'd something else easily explained. If it is T1 you've got a steep learning curve ahead if you and will need all the support you can get, even from MIL if she can listen.