Would you be angry at this? Someone calm me down

[Autumnscoming1]

So I have some concerns about my DS’s health, I have done an e-consult to the GP awaiting a reply. So over the holidays i’ve been noticing frequent urination, thirst during the night, getting up to pee during the night which he never used to, verrucas on his feet that wont budge and nausea. I am concerned about diabetes. I have been working alot over the summer and have told relevant babysitters of my concerns. I informed MIL to cut back on sweets/cakes/no fizzy drinks etc, which in all fairness she seemed very concerned and said “yes well youll have to watch his diet” I went to pick DS up after work yesterday, to see a bottle of fanta in front of him, 2 large slabs of cake on his plate, and MIL forcing another one down him! I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!” I have had a number of conversations with her before this about the amount of cakes/pop etc she gives them, she agrees to my face, but I always turn up to find fizzy drinks/ sweets in excess in front of DS! I am fairly laid back about this sort of thing, fizzy drinks is a treat only and sweet stuff all in moderation. I feel so angry at mil for disregarding DS’s health. Luckily DS is back in school so no need to be in MIL’s care.

How old is DS? I would be angry with MIL too but depending on his age, there's going to be an element of him not asking for/learning to say no to fizzy drinks, sweets, cakes etc.

It's the acid in the bubbles in fizzy drinks that damage teeth as well as sugar. She shouldn't be giving him fizzy drinks regardless of diabetes. Is your husband going to take this on and speak to her. If not he's the real issue. I absolutely wouldn't be using her for childcare ever again
She will just stuff shite into him behind your back and teach him "it's our secret from mummy".

This is probably why so many mumsnetters marriages break down, they just don't listen and charge right in, 🙄 😂

sometimes people don't LISTEN to the ones that care for them i have a SIMILAR trial try putting on utube to faclliate a conversation get leaflets unfortunately u can't make a horse drink water my brother eats NOTHING but junk food & loads of fizzy pop weve TOLD him You are what you eat has just been told LOW oxgen in blood he say's doctor lying 😣😣 just be there for them

This is so difficult.

My Dh’s nana would give me bloody 2 year old Lucozade and DH would sit there and say nothing because ‘she’s old and it makes her happy’. 😡 I could turn a blind eye to cake and sweets, but lucozade was just a step too far.

It didn’t matter that I said it was unhealthy, could ruin his teeth, make him hyperactive, he doesn’t need energy drinks, he’s two, blah blah blah. She ignored me and I felt like some kind of health nut when I spoke up. Lovely woman but ate veg from tins and considered pizza exotic.

I could only control it when we were around, so we devised a plan that was ‘he’ll have this now (point to least offending treat) but we’ll take the lucozade to go! “ And I would promptly bin it once home. Mind you 2 year old wasn’t daft and would cry ‘I want now, I want now.’ And I looked like the evil mother.

And DH said nothing ‘cause she was his nana and he loved her.

I hope he's ok?
Mil sounds a pita.

I am not sure about this - everything in moderation with T1 diabetes, as they would need to be on insulin- you can absolutely have a bit of sugar and you can also have some carbs. You just need to regulate this with your insulin requirements. It takes time to adjust and get used to things but the point is to have a well balanced, healthy approach to food.

My DH is a T1, as well as 3 other family members (all diagnosed between 10 and 14).

What did the GP's call achieve? An appointment to test your DS?

I hope all is well.

Any update? I hope all symptoms were not pointing to something more serious.

I hope your DS is okay.

Sugar isn't the problem in diabetes, it's all carbohydrates which the body will convert to energy - what varies is the speed.

For people with type 1 diabetes you'll be taught how to adjust insulin doses to match the carbohydrates in what you're eating - some sugary food from a grandmother will still be ok even if he does have diabetes providing you adjust the insulin.

Doesn't get around her failing to follow instructions:-/

If he had diabetes he need tested and it would be type 1 at his age- an autoimmune condition. You need to take him urgently.

I hope your ds is ok OP. Is he back from GP yet?

I would say though it seems bizarre to change your child's diet ( strictly enough that you expect everyone looking after him to keep to it at all times, not just a general move to being more healthy at home) weeks or months before you seek medical advice about whether that even is the issue? I know you say you were concerned only in last few days, but then why did you tell them to change diet earlier in summer. I can see why your mil is no longer taking it that seriously if you didn't follow up on it.

Also, in a child my understanding is that it's far more likely to be type 1, on which case what he's eating won't make much difference to it, insulin would be the only answer. My dad is type 1 and eats what he likes within reason, he just has to alter his insulin accordingly.

@Autumnscoming1 I'd be hacked off about this as well. I had similar experiences with a relative and school after letting them know that I was trying to help our child cut back in sugar due to health and behaviour concerns. Discuss with husband and find a way to avoid leaving child alone with MIL. It may mean arranging alternative care in the holidays but it will be worth it because your MIL has made it clear they will not support you in trying to prevent ill-health and protect or improve your child's health but apart from that, I don't see what else you can do.

Good luck OP, i hope it's not diabetes.

My MIL is for urgent requirements only. That way I can't get too bothered about the disregard of my parenting choices.

You can buy urine test strips from eBay, Amazon and some pharmacies.

This sounds like diabetes insipidus and not your run of the mill diabetes (glucose).I would push for an appointment with an endocrinologist and see if there are any other symptoms.

Autumnscoming1 · Yesterday 12:25

I am concerned about diabetes. I have been working alot over the summer and have told relevant babysitters of my concerns.

But not bothered to get him tested until now? This is negligence.

Agree, if she won’t or refuses to take direction from the mother of the child regarding the child’s well-being then she shouldn’t be allowed to spend alone time with them, she does not have the child’s best interest at heart.

As a grandma of 4 I always stick to the mums rules as my own mum did when she looked after mine. Especially where health and safety is concerned. You can suitably spoil them in other ways

I hope he's ok.

Haven’t read thread but assuming it’s a young DS the concern you want to rule out would very likely be type 1 diabetes rather than type 2 - the one that people assume you get from eating cakes.

@Autumnscoming1 I hope all went well with your appointment and your DS is just reacting to the heat.

Your MIL needs to tone down the sweets. Being a grandma is wonderful, but it does come with some responsibilities. She needs to learn that.

Why is the child not receiving a medical diagnosis and care? Diabetes is a serious condition and needs to be managed correctly. What’s an e consult? I think I would be pushing for something more.

I would acho those saying don't let him stay again or leave him unattended

Medical things are important.
Since my DSIL swore blind my DS wasn't allergic to fish and I was lying as he had fish fingers at her house, I've never let him back there without me. This happened when he was 8. He's now 17. Apparently he was at her house and she served him them up with chips and he didn't eat them. He was really upset as he went without dinner because he knew full well he would go into anaphylaxis of he did. So he didn't eat them and DD ate them instead as both said they thought she would be cross.

Take food issues seriously. It will send mixed messages to your DS otherwise.