Would you be angry at this? Someone calm me down

[Autumnscoming1]

So I have some concerns about my DS’s health, I have done an e-consult to the GP awaiting a reply. So over the holidays i’ve been noticing frequent urination, thirst during the night, getting up to pee during the night which he never used to, verrucas on his feet that wont budge and nausea. I am concerned about diabetes. I have been working alot over the summer and have told relevant babysitters of my concerns. I informed MIL to cut back on sweets/cakes/no fizzy drinks etc, which in all fairness she seemed very concerned and said “yes well youll have to watch his diet” I went to pick DS up after work yesterday, to see a bottle of fanta in front of him, 2 large slabs of cake on his plate, and MIL forcing another one down him! I reminded her of our conversation and her response was “he will have what he likes here!” I have had a number of conversations with her before this about the amount of cakes/pop etc she gives them, she agrees to my face, but I always turn up to find fizzy drinks/ sweets in excess in front of DS! I am fairly laid back about this sort of thing, fizzy drinks is a treat only and sweet stuff all in moderation. I feel so angry at mil for disregarding DS’s health. Luckily DS is back in school so no need to be in MIL’s care.

I think OP is confusing the two types of diabetes.

If he has type 1, eating cakes will not make him more likely to develop it. He either has it or not . Sometimes onset is slow ( over months ) or can be fast ( over a weekend , triggered by a virus etc.)

Type 2 is the adult type of diabetes , caused in most cases by poor lifestyle choices . In this case stuffing the person with sugary carbs would be unwise .

Hope your son is ok, OP but you are conflating two unrelated issues.

I am so sorry .. another mother in law (I am twice a MIL ❤️) giving us a bad name 🤨
That is absolutely disgusting and also of course extremely dangerous seeing as you are not knowing atm what is happening for your son.
if this lady cannot not even feel a smidgen of concern then she has no buisness being around him ..
please set your boundaries now this has happened .. this not unreasonable at all and totally urgent.
If my grandsons were in the same position I would be totally cautious without question .. my dear lat maternal uncle was diabetic and his grandson is . Type 1 … Good luck 🤞.. you are not in the wrong at all !

YANBU, I think our family should respect our wishes when it comes to our children who need our protection. I would be particularly concerned that IF he is diagnosed with diabetes, whether you MIL will respect that, and feed him accordingly when he is at her house and not this 'he will eat what he likes at my house' attitude.

The reason people are saying op hasn't done anything is because her op made it sound like this had been going on most of the summer, so weeks. Plus type 1 diabetes developing in a child is a medical emergency, not a "oh I'll do an e-consult and wait for them to get back to me" it's an A&E or GP within the hour type situation.

Also I'm struggling to believe that mil genuinely had 3 slabs of cake that she was trying to force down your child's neck, was he not just eating a piece of cake?

Read her posts and wind your neck in.

No, she's right. Having time to notify relevant babysitters but not rush your child to A&E is negligent.

This.

Yes I’d be annoyed at MIL, what is she thinking?
Hope the tests turn out to be nothing - good luck!

If you read her posts it wasn't sudden onset - it was gradual symptoms and some mirrored normal reactions to hot weather. There's no need to be so cutting, I am sure OP is distressed enough as it is. People are so quick to throw stones.

I hear everything you are saying. You have made your parenting wishes clear, no sweet stuff, no junk food, cakes, rubbish drinks etc. The trouble with grandparents is that they like to spoil their grandchildren, they didn't have the time or perhaps the option or money to give their children "treats". We older generation (I count myself in this group) didn't have many so called treats, it was all made by the stay at home mum who cooked from scratch so we were very healthy. The idea that "another biscuit won't do any harm" is a difficult one to deal with. I will now ask you some difficult questions: is your child fat? do you cook from scratch? do you ensure that your child's diet is full of fruit, veg, lean protein? If so, your MIL cannot do much damage. I agree with other posters that you can buy sticks to test the sugar in your child's urine, which will give you an indication if he/she has too much sugar. If it is clear that this is the case, then you can ask the doctor and nutritionist to help. If need be, print off diabetic information for your MIL and show her the sticks to prove your point. You can also print off the worst case scenario for MIL about losing sight, losing a leg, diabetic ulcers etc. However, FIRST get your diagnosis as to what the cause is. I'd be pleased to know what the outcome of the tests are.

But if you have time to let babysitters know and presumably drop them off at said babysitters on several different occasions then why would you not take your child to be seen? You don't just think "oh I wonder if that's diabetes? I better not give him much sugar" and then go about your daily life for several weeks. Or a quick Google would tell you not to anyway. People are being berated for "not reading the thread" but even with reading the thread she absolutely should have taken her son to be seen as a matter of urgency. Mil giving him cake is pretty irrelevant.

I think we're not living OPs life and we don't really know the ins and outs of how it unfolded, how obvious symptoms were. I think it's easy for us to judge and it's wrong to pick her apart and have a go.

Even if this turns out to be less serious and nothing to do with diabetes I would reduce contact with MIL. There's no excuse for giving grandchildren excessive amounts of sugary, fatty foods specifically against a parent's wishes. I'm a grandma and would love to spoil my grandkids endlessly but we're part of the good education team aren't we? We can all see the obesity problems in society and even if he doesn't have diabetes now his poor dietary choices in future could result in Type 2. Her behaviour is irresponsible and disrespectful. Wishing you a good outcome.

Therefore it's wrong for her to pick apart what her MIL fed her son and have a go at her 🤷

Thankyou so much for this post!! You’ve just described my 6 yo perfectly!!! He has warts and varuccas that won’t go away even with treatment! He’s constantly thirsty, very small for his age and always lethargic!! He also wees a ridiculous amount and is still wet at night. Sorry no advice, but you’ve alerted me he may need to see the GP. Thankyou xxx

Please, if your child (or anyone!) is showing these symptoms, skip the GP and take him straight to A+E.
New onset type 1 diabetes is a medical emergency.
Hope all is well with OP and her son.

Send him to grandparents with a lunchbox and waterbottle. How did the go go, OP?

Good luck with the appointment. If there is anything wrong then I would say he can’t go to mils. You’ll have to make other holiday plans.

My, adult, daughter was diagnosed, out of the blue, with T1 diabetes. She was just off 30.

No specific symptoms but thirst, weight loss, general feeling of unwellness.

In some respects she is lucky - those diagnosed earlier have a head start on those accompanying life affecting ailments.

One of the most shocking for me was when I gave her a lift to the diabetic clinic.

The average number of legs of those waiting was well under 2.

If you son is diagnosed as being diabetic, and I hope he’s not, then life will have to change. He will need to take great care of himself and he will need a lot of support from those around him. Including MIL.

She needs to understand that it’s not just a case of having diabetic chocolate instead. He can’t have treats as such, he needs to develop an understanding of how he needs to look after himself, good eating habits etc.

All the best

How did he get on with the GP? Hope all is well with him

Did you tell MIL that you wanted to limit sugar because you're concerned he has symptoms of diabetes or does she think you're doing it as a diet? If the latter, she probably thinks, like most people, that a slice of cake isn't going to harm a growing child and that you're being overly precious saying no sugary stuff.

With respect @housebrick you are wrong. People with T1D can have any treats they want and eat what they like as long as they carb count and take the correct amount of insulin to deal with the carbohydrates they're eating.

Also diabetic chocolate is definitely not recommended. I didn't even know it was still a thing !!!

There is a lot of misinformation on this thread.

I hope your DS does not have diabetes OP.

YANBU. You don’t say how old he is but I wouldn’t let anyone look after my kid who gives them Fanta before the age of about 15!!! I’m very anti UPF and dizzy drinks so I appreciate others may think that’s extreme but I’ll do almost anything to avoid my kids starting a fizzy drinks habit. I won’t even let someone drink it out of the can / bottle in their presence. If she’s crap on that I’d be questioning her capabilities tbh.

@Autumnscoming1 how did you get on OP