Shitty message aimed at me in school WhatsApp group chat

[Dannii93]

I’ve been working today so my DH did the pick up.

I received a notification that I’d been tagged in the school Mum’s WhatsApp group. For transparency, I’ve copied it here:

“@(me) and @(another Mum) if your husbands want to comment on Miss X’s TITS then I suggest they do so when other parents are not in earshot!!!”

The other Mum saw this before I did and replied to say she had no idea what she is on about but would have appreciated a message privately.

The reply:

“I think you need to reflect on what type of men you have settled for as they are disgusting!”

Anyway, I sent on to DH to ask what on earth happened. He said a Dad he was stood waiting with asked him if he had seen our DS’s new teacher. DH said no as he didn’t do the morning drop off. The Dad basically replied something along the lines of you’ll be in for a treat as she has massive tits and before DH could reply, a Mum who overheard (not the one who sent the messages above) snapped at him to shut up.

AIBU to find the Mum completely out of order to have sent those messages? She has an absolute cheek to say what she has about me needing to ‘reflect’ and it’s rich coming from someone who is a single bloody Mum herself!

Its absolutely fine for her to dislike them talking about another woman like that. And also fine for her to tackle the issue directly, as she did.

There was no need whatsoever for the group message which was always just going to cause embarrassment for you and the other woman so she could feel superior.

Gosh, you are both vile. Well suited I guess.

I've heard people make comments about male teachers but I've never heard anyone say anything vulgar like what your husband heard (or said)

What did your DH say after the other mum told them to shut up?
I suppose if he'd said "yes creepy dad, don't talk about women like that" he wouldn't have gotten lumped together with him.

Of course women aren't responsible for men's actions, but staying with a man like that is an action in itself.

Your single mum comment was unnecessary, judgemental, and shows what kind of comments you think are acceptable.

And your brag about your DH's job is irrelevant, but shows where your priorities are.

MM is the biggest group of men haters around.

The first and last

And, there you are again, getting in a dig about one parent families.
Is your FTSE 100 DH as smug as you?
Presumably, your perfect man put the other Dad in his place re: the comment?

I imagine the dads aren't on the WhatsApp group, which is why she tagged their wives instead. Maybe she did it in anger and was too furious to stop and really think about what she was doing. Anyway let's hope your OH will be too busy with his Very Important Job to do the school run again, OP .

God I’d have actually passed away. Whether he said it or not it doesn’t matter because everyone will assume he did anyway.

I think that’s a horrible thing to do to another woman, to be honest.

Why did she @ you? Couldn’t she @ your DH in the group? Or are we still in the world of mums handling all the school/life admin and dads not even being in the chat?

I agree with other replies that everyone seems awful here. Also you could argue that a single mum at least isn’t staying with an awful man who gets involved in conversations about their kid’s teacher’s tits.

Leave the group.
It can't happen then.
Anyone who isn't on social media or WhatsApp is leading a more peaceful life.

This 👏

Why did she @ you? Couldn’t she @ your DH in the group? Or are we still in the world of mums handling all the school/life admin and dads not even being in the chat?

I imagine he’s too busy travelling internationally with his FTSE 100 job. And definitely not commenting about women’s tits.

:-)

What an odd thing to include re.FTSE 100 firm - do you think it follows that he must be a good guy who wouldn’t objectify unsuspecting women?

I think OP is trying to demonstrate to us what a great catch he is 🤭

So the problem is that you were lectured by someone like her?

Ah yes, misandry is such an enormous issue in our patriarchal society, definitely comparable to the rampant misogyny. Good one.

😮

Yep and this is one of the reasons I NEVER join class WhatsApp groups, (although I’m the only one who does the school run).
often worse than the kids in the playground and not worth the trouble!

I thought your DH would never make disparaging comments about women?

Glad his employer will have some good diversity training available for him to learn how to handle inappropriate remarks.

Not sure why her being a single mum is relevant.
would it change how you feel if she was married.
Of course your husband will blame the other man.
Personally she shouldn’t have put it in a group chat.

How? So because she's a single mum she can say whatever she wants about other people's relationships and give smarmy advice, does this also gives her the rite to publicly try and embarrass the OP. I agree no wonder she's a single mum. Moral of the story don't chat 💩 about other people's husbands and expect nothing to be said back.

👏👏