Shitty message aimed at me in school WhatsApp group chat

[Dannii93]

I’ve been working today so my DH did the pick up.

I received a notification that I’d been tagged in the school Mum’s WhatsApp group. For transparency, I’ve copied it here:

“@(me) and @(another Mum) if your husbands want to comment on Miss X’s TITS then I suggest they do so when other parents are not in earshot!!!”

The other Mum saw this before I did and replied to say she had no idea what she is on about but would have appreciated a message privately.

The reply:

“I think you need to reflect on what type of men you have settled for as they are disgusting!”

Anyway, I sent on to DH to ask what on earth happened. He said a Dad he was stood waiting with asked him if he had seen our DS’s new teacher. DH said no as he didn’t do the morning drop off. The Dad basically replied something along the lines of you’ll be in for a treat as she has massive tits and before DH could reply, a Mum who overheard (not the one who sent the messages above) snapped at him to shut up.

AIBU to find the Mum completely out of order to have sent those messages? She has an absolute cheek to say what she has about me needing to ‘reflect’ and it’s rich coming from someone who is a single bloody Mum herself!

I didn’t vote because whilst I think she was being unreasonable to not message privately, she really isn’t being unreasonable to be irritated by the pervs at the school gate.

Re your comment about her being a single mum, perhaps she reflected on her choice and realised that he fell below her standards?

I’d be pretty embarrassed if my DH was engaged in a conversation like that tbh.

Don’t worry, the op has clarified that she didn’t want to offend “the single mums on here” with her snide little comments, just that one specific mum 🤨

Yep.

You can’t be serious posting this?

Why would she be bitter about your DH? Is he really such a catch?

I'd be furious with my husband if I were you. He stood there and said nothing while the other guy made disgusting remarks about a woman. Unluckily for you he was clocked by a woman who didn't respond in the optimum way, and in her attempt to defend one woman, she has embarrassed two others. This is unfortunate, but you shouldn't let that divert attention from who caused this. And if your husband really was an innocent bystander, he can always respond that he was just as disgusted by the other man as she was, and had no part in it. Couldn't he?

@Dannii93 you last sentences about her being a single mum is horrific.

Lost me there.

The whole lot of you sound crazy.

Actually, if this isn't (yet another) wind up post, then this is an excellent suggestion.

Dear school mum, husbands details are husband@whatsapp, please feel free to contact him directly. I think you also need to reflect on your behaviour of trying to hold women to account for men’s alleged actions (yes alleged but I’ll leave it to him to clarify if you need it)

i dont agree with you op.
that is very mean comment to make about her being a single mum. it is totally irrelevant to the conversation between the two dads.

Who did you mean to offend then with that stupid last line?

And you have NO IDEA why some of us are single mums so keep your patronising opinions to yourself.

Maybe some of us have a higher bar than YOU and won't put up with sexist, misogynists and have decided we want better for our children than them growing up hearing shite like your H no doubt said about the teacher.

‘Course he isn’t 😂😂

This thread is really real everyone

The comment was clearly inappropriate but some of the stuff I’ve heard Mum’s say about male teachers go way beyond that, so let’s not pretend it doesn’t go on.

My DH was an innocent bystander and I didn’t deserve to be lectured from someone like her.

Someone like her? What does that mean?

Yep

Not such a big margin now on the vote….

You are all behaving appallingly apart from the mum who tackled it in the playground.

The comments you have made about single women are revolting.

And your DH, as if we are meant to believe that out of the blue, with no preemptive similar conversation or comment, the other dad commented loudly on her body. And he didn’t get a chance to say a single thing back….

I pity your children, growing up surrounded by adults that show them this type of behaviour.

Sleazy DH I bet
Offensive, drama llama, unpleasant, screechy OP

Poor kids

"Dear school mum

I am not my husband's keeper."

Or maybe she's got standards and that's why she's single! More power to her for refusing to put up with men's shite. Whether your DH was the one commenting on the teacher's body or not, you lost any of the high ground when you commented on her relationship status!

You're comfortable being married to a man who speaks about women like this?

Go and have a conversation with her then.

Instead of showing yourself up on Mumsnet ffs.

Cringey as fuck. God help your kids.

Sounds like your DH did make a grim comment about the teacher's tits - he obviously has form.

I’ve never heard women making comments about male teachers at pick up or drop off, actually. So perhaps it’s just the sort of circle you mix in at the gates.

Even if I thought any of that, saying it in a group chat to someone you think is a bit rough sounds like a recipe for a dry slap at pick up time.

My DH was an innocent bystander

😂😂😂 oh you sad, little, duped wifey