Shitty message aimed at me in school WhatsApp group chat

[Dannii93]

I’ve been working today so my DH did the pick up.

I received a notification that I’d been tagged in the school Mum’s WhatsApp group. For transparency, I’ve copied it here:

“@(me) and @(another Mum) if your husbands want to comment on Miss X’s TITS then I suggest they do so when other parents are not in earshot!!!”

The other Mum saw this before I did and replied to say she had no idea what she is on about but would have appreciated a message privately.

The reply:

“I think you need to reflect on what type of men you have settled for as they are disgusting!”

Anyway, I sent on to DH to ask what on earth happened. He said a Dad he was stood waiting with asked him if he had seen our DS’s new teacher. DH said no as he didn’t do the morning drop off. The Dad basically replied something along the lines of you’ll be in for a treat as she has massive tits and before DH could reply, a Mum who overheard (not the one who sent the messages above) snapped at him to shut up.

AIBU to find the Mum completely out of order to have sent those messages? She has an absolute cheek to say what she has about me needing to ‘reflect’ and it’s rich coming from someone who is a single bloody Mum herself!

Righto 👍

Seriously OP?
So for instance women who are victims of DV only have themselves to blame because they chose a rubbish partner?

I'm glad she's called him out on it. He won't be so keen to comment on women in the future. (However it's out of order to take you in it it should have been him )
Just ignore it and tell your husband to not be a sexist embarrassment

Oof! You’re not going to get much support when you have that attitude.

He is alive. And as my DH put it when I got home she’s probably bitter she can’t get any one else so gets her kicks out of pulling stunts like this!

I've no idea what her being a single mum has to do with it all. But also flabbergasted that someone would put this on a class WhatsApp group. All very strange (if true)

Ah don't jump the shark OP.

just ignore the comments. Commenting on Teachers body not on but just let it go

The poll is comfortably YANBU so I am glad I posted (I obviously didn’t mean to offend the single mums on here!)

Yup, or she practices what she preaches and felt being a single mother (the horror!) was better than being with a shit man.
It's odd she felt the need to put this in a group chat, it's wild that the other woman's DH felt talking about his kid's teacher's breasts was remotely appropriate, it's convenient that OP's DH was an innocent victim of TITS being spoken about in his presence, it's pretty grim that OP judges a woman for being a single parent more than she judges men reducing a woman at work down to just breasts. What a busy start to the term everyone has had.

Whilst calling you out in the WhatsApp group is out of order, both you and your husband sound like thoroughly unpleasant individuals, which she has no doubt picked up on in other ways before now.

Or maybe she decided it would be better being single than with a shitty mysoginist who thinks it's fine to have a conversation about their child's teacher in the playground.

What a nasty put down. And it's more likely she has high standards for herself and doesn't settle...... there's a huge pandemic of lonely men ATM 🤣 single women arnt short on offers from a range of men

It works all ways though doesn't it? OP and the other mum are no more responsible for their DHs' comments than victims are responsible for their abuse.

It just sounds like some woman on her moral high horse trying to publicly shame other women for something that's nothing to do with them. She's out of order.

Yea I’m calling it, your ‘D’H is as guilty as sin he sounds like a twat lol I’d rather be single than with someone like that

Maybe he was no worse than the one you appear to be saddled with, commenting on their young child’s teacher’s tits at the school gates.
You’ve got yourself a right charmer there.

My DH would never, he isn’t that sort of man.

True. But felt the need to pull up their partners for the behaviour. In a public way. No need for that.

im so glad my kids are way past the class/school WhatsApp and it wasn't really a thing at the time either.

So is it always the woman’s fault if she’s a single mum? I’m a single mum so I’d be interested in knowing what it is that I did to deserve that, as it appears to be my fault and not my ex’s.

He is.... that's why the other man approached him and said it.... they always spot each other.....

Agreed. The women are not to blame and are not responsible for the men's comments.

I agree the comments are inappropriate but that's something to take up with them not call out their partners on

This

He is the sort of man to say 'she’s probably bitter she can’t get any one else' though. So whether he commented on the teacher's breasts or not we know he's misogynistic.

I didnt say OP was responsible for her H's sexist behaviour.
It was OP being so judgemental about single mothers that annoyed me. She was blaming the women for their choice of men.

Well, while if the story played out exactly as he said it did, he hasn't done anything wrong. However his comment about her being 'bitter' (why? Because she's single? Is she meant to be jealous of the fine upstanding chaps you ladies are married to?!) does him no favours whatsoever, and makes it feel a little more likely to me that he did in fact participate more than he is admitting to.

Assuming the two dads are friends, I'm amazed the other would say something so totally inappropriate to someone he didn't know was likely to be receptive.