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Teachers: do you find it hard? (high school toilets)

219 replies

Fillyfrog · 02/09/2025 16:41

DD started high school yesterday. We had a transition support meeting before starting (possible asd) and SENCO offered a toilet pass due to lots of anxiety over needing a wee and not being able to go or find a toilet (this is long standing and not just due to new school)
Children are allowed to go at break and lunch and that's it, if they need it any other time it's tough.

Toilet pass wasn't sorted for today and DD begged to go in her last lesson. She said she was close to tears and the teacher still said no. Absolutely not.

I know they have rules for a reason. But, even if she didn't have anxiety and a possible toilet pass

What if someone gets a sudden stomach ache and needs to go to the toilet for a poo quite suddenly?
What if a girl comes on their period suddenly and needs to go and it can't wait until the end of the day? I can't imagine how heartless the teachers must feel to look at a child close to tears on their first day, desperate for the toilet and to just say no and that's it 🙈 it's hard to comprehend as an adult who is able to go to the toilet whenever they want to. It feels like a basic human right.

OP posts:
Fetaface · 03/09/2025 15:10

Just because a teacher can't doesn't mean a students shouldn't have to, it doesn't mean they both have to suffer out of fairness.

Do you think kids 'suffer' when going on a school trip without instant toilet access? How do these kids manage on a coach to say Thorpe Park or France when they cannot use the toilet whenever they please?

Should they be banned to prevent human suffering?

TheLivelyViper · 03/09/2025 16:37

Fetaface · 03/09/2025 15:10

Just because a teacher can't doesn't mean a students shouldn't have to, it doesn't mean they both have to suffer out of fairness.

Do you think kids 'suffer' when going on a school trip without instant toilet access? How do these kids manage on a coach to say Thorpe Park or France when they cannot use the toilet whenever they please?

Should they be banned to prevent human suffering?

Most coaches have a toliet you can use. Every school trip I had, had one. Plus even if it doesn't, that's one time. Just because it happens occasionally on a school trip (to be honest, I always had access to toliet on coaches or planes and I think most do), doesn't mean we should then apply it to all the time 24/7 during school. Plus I know that buses will often stop and we'd get off and go to the toilet, especially when any girls were on their period, my teachers didn't mind. But this rarely happened as the coaches had toliets.

Doone22 · 03/09/2025 17:06

Yes it's outrageous, can you imagine if professional working adults were told you can't go to the toilet? They'd all walk out.

Mokel · 03/09/2025 17:10

TheLivelyViper · 03/09/2025 16:37

Most coaches have a toliet you can use. Every school trip I had, had one. Plus even if it doesn't, that's one time. Just because it happens occasionally on a school trip (to be honest, I always had access to toliet on coaches or planes and I think most do), doesn't mean we should then apply it to all the time 24/7 during school. Plus I know that buses will often stop and we'd get off and go to the toilet, especially when any girls were on their period, my teachers didn't mind. But this rarely happened as the coaches had toliets.

Probably have to stop anyway for the coach driver’s tachometer.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2025 17:47

Chickenintheoven · 02/09/2025 18:48

I know a secondary school near us keeps ALL toilets locked except for break time.

to access the loo during a lesson first you need permission or a pass to get out of the class then you have to go to reception (large secondary school with sprawling campus so could be a good 5-10 min walk if you are at the top of the science block etc) to ask them to unlock a toilet . Wait for them to do so.

It is absolutely disgusting what they do to these children - as someone with a bowel condition if this was me at 13 I would have now soiled myself as there is no way on earth I could have waited that long. Let alone girls with periods or anyone with IBS etc…

I can’t believe it is legal. I do understand the difficulties with bullying and vandalism but I can’t believe in 2025 in the UK that children are being denied access to toilets.

the child I know that goes there won’t eat or drink at all in school as they don’t want to risk needing the toilet. They come home starving and thirsty .

It is awful .

Do you happen to have a spare thirty grand knocking around to repair the damage done by four teenagers in ten minutes, though? Every toilet smashed, sinks off walls, water everywhere, the need to dig up half the playground in order to remove the towels/blankets/other kids' clothing/bags of cement they've brought in and flushed before they took hammers/etc/ to the pans, mirrors and windows smashed, suspended ceilings brought down and the framework bent beyond repair from the weight of them climbing on each other's shoulders in order to dangle off it, doors off hinges, lighter fuel sprayed around and set alight, floors flooded and going through to the wiring for the lights in the floor below.

Then repeat it with the next set of toilets. And then the next. And the accessible toilet(s). And once a set has been repaired, give it a day and it happens again if they aren't only opened under supervision.

On the positive side, whilst putting the vandalism online for other kids to watch and take inspiration from, usually at least one is thick enough to make themselves or a mate easily identifiable so they can be suspended for a few days.

It's happened in multiple schools I've worked at with completely different demographics of kids.

I'm fairly sure that none of them would do anything like the level of damage to the toilet at home, but get them in school and unsupervised for even such a short period of time as that and, even if it's a small number overall, the scale of the damage can be crippling - and nobody's going to be impressed if the entire school has to be sent home because there are literally no functional toilets on site.

Chickenintheoven · 03/09/2025 17:55

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2025 17:47

Do you happen to have a spare thirty grand knocking around to repair the damage done by four teenagers in ten minutes, though? Every toilet smashed, sinks off walls, water everywhere, the need to dig up half the playground in order to remove the towels/blankets/other kids' clothing/bags of cement they've brought in and flushed before they took hammers/etc/ to the pans, mirrors and windows smashed, suspended ceilings brought down and the framework bent beyond repair from the weight of them climbing on each other's shoulders in order to dangle off it, doors off hinges, lighter fuel sprayed around and set alight, floors flooded and going through to the wiring for the lights in the floor below.

Then repeat it with the next set of toilets. And then the next. And the accessible toilet(s). And once a set has been repaired, give it a day and it happens again if they aren't only opened under supervision.

On the positive side, whilst putting the vandalism online for other kids to watch and take inspiration from, usually at least one is thick enough to make themselves or a mate easily identifiable so they can be suspended for a few days.

It's happened in multiple schools I've worked at with completely different demographics of kids.

I'm fairly sure that none of them would do anything like the level of damage to the toilet at home, but get them in school and unsupervised for even such a short period of time as that and, even if it's a small number overall, the scale of the damage can be crippling - and nobody's going to be impressed if the entire school has to be sent home because there are literally no functional toilets on site.

No I don’t have money to pay for mindless vandalism …

but I also don’t think it is fair that normal kids can’t go to the loo and have to soil themselves / bleed all over the place for want of needing a toilet in an emergency… as they are all locked because of the mindless few…

I know there is no simple solution but I do believe that every child should have the ability to use the toilet at school.

i couldn’t go to work in a workplace if I didn’t have access to a toilet and I don’t believe children should suffer this indignity either.

as so often - the minority ruin it for the majority.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/09/2025 18:14

Chickenintheoven · 03/09/2025 17:55

No I don’t have money to pay for mindless vandalism …

but I also don’t think it is fair that normal kids can’t go to the loo and have to soil themselves / bleed all over the place for want of needing a toilet in an emergency… as they are all locked because of the mindless few…

I know there is no simple solution but I do believe that every child should have the ability to use the toilet at school.

i couldn’t go to work in a workplace if I didn’t have access to a toilet and I don’t believe children should suffer this indignity either.

as so often - the minority ruin it for the majority.

You're right, it's not fair. But the only way to ensure that children do have access to a toilet is to restrict the times to when they can be supervised (and then access is completely unrestricted), otherwise nobody gets access to them at all.

SoMuchLego · 03/09/2025 18:16

I work in a secondary school.

There are soooo many variables around toilet use.

Toilet cubicles are literally the only areas of the school site that aren’t supervised. Even the circulation and handwashing spaces in the toilets open straight onto corridor in my school.

Internal truancy is a problem. In the past maybe those kids would have just wandered out of school or not been in school at all but it’s not like that now. They literally locked in.

Vaping is a huge issue

Phone use and teeing up fights is a huge issue

Drugs and bullying have been issues

Graffiti directed at individuals is an issue

the toilets generally being crowded and unpleasant at breaks also means some kids find it more acceptable to go during lessons.

And how can a teacher really know what’s going on with a child’s excretory system other than being told ‘I’m doing for a wee miss, I’m going to wet myself’?

How so many girls have flooding and unmanageable periods I don’t know… the toilets are well stocked with free, branded Sanpro and students can take as much as they want, wherever they want home with them, for free.

i also think it’s a bit of ‘main character’ culture… why should I be a bit uncomfortable and wait to go to the toilet, why shouldn’t I go and have some unsupervised time in the toilets if I want to, I want to go now, and I’ll start mentioning my mental health if I’m not allowed.

Every toilet visit in our school is recorded and we spend a large portion of each day paying to staff toilets. There are definite repeat offenders.

Now whether the school environment and curriculum actually suits all student is the real question we should be asking IMO…

Chickenintheoven · 03/09/2025 18:27

SoMuchLego · 03/09/2025 18:16

I work in a secondary school.

There are soooo many variables around toilet use.

Toilet cubicles are literally the only areas of the school site that aren’t supervised. Even the circulation and handwashing spaces in the toilets open straight onto corridor in my school.

Internal truancy is a problem. In the past maybe those kids would have just wandered out of school or not been in school at all but it’s not like that now. They literally locked in.

Vaping is a huge issue

Phone use and teeing up fights is a huge issue

Drugs and bullying have been issues

Graffiti directed at individuals is an issue

the toilets generally being crowded and unpleasant at breaks also means some kids find it more acceptable to go during lessons.

And how can a teacher really know what’s going on with a child’s excretory system other than being told ‘I’m doing for a wee miss, I’m going to wet myself’?

How so many girls have flooding and unmanageable periods I don’t know… the toilets are well stocked with free, branded Sanpro and students can take as much as they want, wherever they want home with them, for free.

i also think it’s a bit of ‘main character’ culture… why should I be a bit uncomfortable and wait to go to the toilet, why shouldn’t I go and have some unsupervised time in the toilets if I want to, I want to go now, and I’ll start mentioning my mental health if I’m not allowed.

Every toilet visit in our school is recorded and we spend a large portion of each day paying to staff toilets. There are definite repeat offenders.

Now whether the school environment and curriculum actually suits all student is the real question we should be asking IMO…

Jesus wept…

it is not ‘main character syndrome’ to have a bowel condition or diabetes or a kidney issue where urgent and immediate access to a toilet is essential.

nor is it unusual for a girl’s period to come on unexpectedly and heavily when they are young and just getting to grips with them.

thank the Lord that my bowel condition came on and my diabetes duagnosed after I left school as I couldn’t have survived with the locked toilets that are so common in schools today .

it is nothing to do with mental health having a medical condition where you have seconds to get to a toilet - but I guess it becomes one when you suffer the humiliation of an accident in front of your classmates because schools policies are so inhumane .

If I had wet or soiled myself in class as a teenager - I would never ever have returned to school again as the bullying would have been insufferable.

I really feel for the kids of today.

Endlesswandering · 03/09/2025 18:41

Used to work in schools and found this rule a nightmare. I understood why because we had SO many issues with kids just mucking around in the toilets but it was just rubbish. I used to send kids if I thought they were genuine and senior leaders didn’t like that but sod them. I’ve been on placement in one school where the kids had to go and collect the key for the toilets if they needed it. In a way it worked because, for example, if Kelly hadn’t brought the key back in 20 mins there was either a problem or she was mucking around. Likewise there was a log of who was in there at what time so if graffiti was done we knew who it was. But it was an absolute faff and imo a waste of everyone’s time.

Maybe toilets with a one in one out door policy (students scan their student card to get in?) so no messing around with their mates, and there’d be a log of who had been in the toilets should damage be caused? And then just fire alarms in there so that any vaping would be obvious.

Honestly it does my head in even having to think of ways around this because as an adult I’d be livid if I couldn’t just go to the toilet whenever I needed to, but we had so many safeguarding incidents and general terrible behaviour from a minority that it was sort of needed. Having to explain to a parent why their daughter had been jumped on in the toilets during lesson time was horrendous. Saying those other kids were allowed to the toilet just in case they were genuinely desperate and would have otherwise had an accident just didn’t cut it, but we couldn’t have CCTV and couldn’t have someone inside the toilets monitoring things for obvious reasons.

Also adding, I advocated for a policy of staff having to be in pairs to enter student toilets but they were having none of it because of staffing issues. But we had male senior leaders entering female toilets because they believed kids were mucking around and I found that wholly unacceptable. Bloody ridiculous.

Toilets and uniform were my worst nightmares 😂 I miss the job but don’t miss the drama!

SomethingInnocuousForNow · 03/09/2025 18:42

ridl14 · 02/09/2025 17:04

I've worked in one school really strict with it and one less so. It's actually more confusing in the second one. First one kids would be brought back by SLT if you let them go without a toilet pass. Genuinely more safeguarding issues in that school (kids caught smoking weed in the toilets, sexual activity - serious things) and the students just got used to making sure they went at break and lunch. Timetable was never more than two 50 minute lessons together (+ 20 min tutor in AM).

Current school, you're allowed to give students a pass but there's very wishy washy language around it, which basically means the naughtier students are pushy about going and then wander the school and miss half the lesson. I actually think it's deeply unfair as the quieter students choose to go at break/lunch. We do have a system where you're supposed to log when students go to the toilet during class, a text is sent home so parents can see, heads of year have the toilet key during lessons so there's a discussion with anyone going repeat times a day. But still there's clear inconsistencies which just seems unfair to the majority of students. And it is disruptive when they miss half the lesson and chose not to go at break (totally different if there were queues).

Students with SEND should have their own pass IMO. I think discretion should be allowed especially for accidents but be aware there's often pressure on teachers from SLT not to allow it.

Omg, a system that sends texts to your parents when you've been to the toilet?? That's actually horrible. No wonder so many kids hate school.

SoMuchLego · 03/09/2025 19:34

Chickenintheoven · 03/09/2025 18:27

Jesus wept…

it is not ‘main character syndrome’ to have a bowel condition or diabetes or a kidney issue where urgent and immediate access to a toilet is essential.

nor is it unusual for a girl’s period to come on unexpectedly and heavily when they are young and just getting to grips with them.

thank the Lord that my bowel condition came on and my diabetes duagnosed after I left school as I couldn’t have survived with the locked toilets that are so common in schools today .

it is nothing to do with mental health having a medical condition where you have seconds to get to a toilet - but I guess it becomes one when you suffer the humiliation of an accident in front of your classmates because schools policies are so inhumane .

If I had wet or soiled myself in class as a teenager - I would never ever have returned to school again as the bullying would have been insufferable.

I really feel for the kids of today.

I’m not saying that I agree with all of this but the way.

But honestly a lot of the students that want to go to the toilet A LOT are ones who will use ANY reason to get out and stay out of the classroom; they often have multiple issues ongoing around behaviour; they often come from complicated families.

How teachers are supposed to navigate this I really don’t know… One minute you’re explaining quadratic equations to year 9, the next you’re wondering whether little Jenny really does suffer badly with her periods or whether little Johnny is actually just having you on.

It’s a nightmare, and lots of parents and people who’ve not seen it simply wouldn’t believe it - specifically the complexity, cost, and relentlessness of it.

Fetaface · 03/09/2025 19:51

TheLivelyViper · 03/09/2025 16:37

Most coaches have a toliet you can use. Every school trip I had, had one. Plus even if it doesn't, that's one time. Just because it happens occasionally on a school trip (to be honest, I always had access to toliet on coaches or planes and I think most do), doesn't mean we should then apply it to all the time 24/7 during school. Plus I know that buses will often stop and we'd get off and go to the toilet, especially when any girls were on their period, my teachers didn't mind. But this rarely happened as the coaches had toliets.

You cannot use a toilet on a coach when it is moving. At no point can a child take a seatbelt off and use the toilet. Basic risk assessment. Kids have been killed in the past when they have taken their belts off so no child is permitted to take their belt off at any time. A teacher would say a living child in wet clothes is better than a dead child in dry clothes.

So should the coach stop for every child who needs it when they need it? Every 10 minutes maybe?

Fetaface · 03/09/2025 19:53

Mokel · 03/09/2025 17:10

Probably have to stop anyway for the coach driver’s tachometer.

Have to stop so no one gets killed. Kids cannot take their seatbelts off on the coach while it is moving.

Basic safeguarding which will be on the risk assessment. So the coach will just have to stop every 10 minutes for toilet stops given one where they are all asked to go at the same time is inhumane and cruel.

Zanatdy · 03/09/2025 20:05

I’d keep her off until they sort her pass. My DD had a toilet pass due to problem periods, first one being so bad it lasted 28 days of heavy bleeding and a blood transfusion. Thankfully that happened in school hols and then she was at home with covid lockdowns so never really needed the pass as she went on the pill after a few months, but helpful to have it. I understand why they have the rules, but I can imagine some kids must have accidents if become unwell. I’d be so angry if my child had an accident if they were sick and been denied permission.

Fillyfrog · 03/09/2025 20:09

I've read every single one of these replies so thank you. Some very interesting viewpoints that I don't think I had considered before.
Still don't think I could be a teacher and completely deny requests for the toilet. As a previous poster said I'm a nurse and if I did that I could lose my job 🙈
I think the answer is to have someone monitor the toilets all the time. A boring job perhaps but necessary.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 03/09/2025 21:23

Fillyfrog · 03/09/2025 20:09

I've read every single one of these replies so thank you. Some very interesting viewpoints that I don't think I had considered before.
Still don't think I could be a teacher and completely deny requests for the toilet. As a previous poster said I'm a nurse and if I did that I could lose my job 🙈
I think the answer is to have someone monitor the toilets all the time. A boring job perhaps but necessary.

Schools have no money and no staff. We don't even have enough teachers to teach the kids let alone spare people to watch toilets.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 03/09/2025 21:25

It's only 2 hours til break its not like theyre made to wait all day

MrsHamlet · 03/09/2025 21:39

Fillyfrog · 03/09/2025 20:09

I've read every single one of these replies so thank you. Some very interesting viewpoints that I don't think I had considered before.
Still don't think I could be a teacher and completely deny requests for the toilet. As a previous poster said I'm a nurse and if I did that I could lose my job 🙈
I think the answer is to have someone monitor the toilets all the time. A boring job perhaps but necessary.

Where's the money coming from to pay for the toilet monitor?

rainuntilseptember · 03/09/2025 21:44

Parents could volunteer to do it on a rota.

TheLivelyViper · 03/09/2025 21:49

Fetaface · 03/09/2025 19:51

You cannot use a toilet on a coach when it is moving. At no point can a child take a seatbelt off and use the toilet. Basic risk assessment. Kids have been killed in the past when they have taken their belts off so no child is permitted to take their belt off at any time. A teacher would say a living child in wet clothes is better than a dead child in dry clothes.

So should the coach stop for every child who needs it when they need it? Every 10 minutes maybe?

Edited

First of all, there are always plenty of opportunities on a trip, if it's to France they'll be on a plane and they'll be a toliet. Even if it's a coach journey, they normally stop and also they'll all go beforehand as well. A trip isn't every day, it will be once in a while, and for a short period of time. We don't apply situations which are occasional to set the judgements for every day. You're just trying to use one situation to say that that means that should be replicated in lesson, evem when it's in a different environment. If you read by other posts, you'll see the points which I care much more about, rather than just pontificating on one thing which is an occasional event.

I'd say that yes a dead child is bad (to be honest, kids have gone to the toliet on a coach in my experience but yes I understand the risk), so even if they weren't allowed, I'd day the effect on a child (particularly girls as new research is showing links with rises of 275% in girls absences, not just this obviously), if they bleed through, soil themselves, or feel so anxious about lessons they don't come to school, or don't do the work, is also incredibly bad, not just exposing them to easy bullying (when we already known girls feel shame around periods and endure jokes from boys around them), but also the personal effect on their wellbeing.

@SoMuchLego You say students are unreasonable to think 'why shouldn't I be uncomfortable', how is that unreasonable. They're already in lessons all day, have lots of homework and tests, more than ever, and more kids than ever have issues (complicated families and mental health and so much more), why should they be uncomfortable? Any urologist will tell you it's bad for anyone to have to repeatdly hold their bladder, even if they can and aren't near peeing themselves, it's still bad. What life lesson are they learning from the discomfort. Yes there are times you can't go to the toilet in life, but few and far between (expect teaching, we know). Like I mentioned before, its funny how because teachers can't go, the argument suddenly holds weight that students shouldn't have to also. But for basic jewelry, or painted nails, the argument that teachers can so why can't students, is deemed as stupid.

@Endlesswandering 'Maybe toilets with a one in one out door policy (students scan their student card to get in?'
I actually think (if schools had more money) this would be a great idea, using smart card and tech. But that will have to wait till schools have so much money they don't know what to do with all of it, which is definitely not anytime soon with how stretched school budgets are.

noblegiraffe · 03/09/2025 21:51

rainuntilseptember · 03/09/2025 21:44

Parents could volunteer to do it on a rota.

Parents have offered to do this at various schools I think and (rightly) been told absolutely not.

I think they'd have no idea what they were letting themselves in for.

dcadmamagain · 03/09/2025 21:53

I hope you have contacted SENCo and hit pass sorted. I work in a school and to agree a supporting measure and not to have it in place for first day is unacceptable.

TheLivelyViper · 03/09/2025 21:55

Below is some of the research (not all) on this issue, but we clearly have loads just in this thread of experiences showing the impact:

• 2025 UK whitepaper by phs Group in partnership with menstrual health charity Irise reports 47% of girls have been stopped from using toilets during lessons, 22% have bled through clothing at school, and over a quarter have missed school during their period due to pain, heavy bleeding and embarrassment about asking to go to the toliet and fear of refusal.

• 257% rise in severely absent girls between 2017/18 and 2023/24. With many girls reporting periods as a main reason they're absent and more being absent for their whole period. The issues they report include lack of empathy from teachers about periods (as in the many symptoms which imapct their ability to learn, not being understood or adapted to) and also fear and embarrassment over having to tell a teacher and potentially the whole class they're on their period. When bullying from boys about periods is increasing along with misogyny towards girls. - I personally think this links to the phenomenon of women and girls constantly being told their "too dramatic and should just get on with it" and that "their pain is normal" or that the multiple symptoms periods bring shouldn't effect them in school at all, we're talking pain, lack of concentration, diarrhoea or constipation, tiredness, headaches, and more (also PMS and PMDD - for which they won't have had a chance to be diagnosed for yet).

• Plan International UK’s 2025 survey highlights bullying/teasing about periods (by peers and adults) and reports of not being allowed to use the toilet when needed

• UK Safeguarding guidance (NSPCC, July 2024) notes that children avoiding toilets or being unable to go can lead to UTIs and other medical problems, which in turn contribute to school absence and anxiety. (So then it furthers medical issues and more kids will be eligible for passes anyways).

• UK continence charities ERIC and Bladder & Bowel UK advise schools to allow timely toilet access

• Many menstrual health issues are undiagnosed in adolescence. So girls cannot yet have the medical passes, as the issues will only just be starting to emerge and we know possible gynaecological issues take time to diagnose.
•https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/22/heavy-periods-affect-school-attendance-and-exam-scores-study-in-england-finds?

Heavy periods affect school attendance and exam scores, study in England finds

Charities say more should be done to support girls who experience prolonged bleeding and severe menstrual pain

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/22/heavy-periods-affect-school-attendance-and-exam-scores-study-in-england-finds

MrsHamlet · 03/09/2025 21:56

rainuntilseptember · 03/09/2025 21:44

Parents could volunteer to do it on a rota.

Are they paying for their own DBS?