DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

[Pinkpetal9999]

My DSD (12) was visiting, our newborn is 4 weeks old and still has a delicate neck. I am happy with DSD holding her brother as long as one of us has put him in a position that keeps his neck supported. She will hold him from time to time if we are in another room.

However to my horror the other day I saw her taking him out of his Moses basket and putting him back.

Am I being unreasonable in that I feel that’s a step too far?

Just like I think many posters summed up your initial post very well, hence the reactions you got, oh along with the very high percentage of people who believe YABU via the poll.

I remember when I had my last child I said to a woman that I expressed my milk. She looked at me in a confused way and said that she wouldn't do that and why I didn't breastfeed. That was the first time I spoke to someone apart from the health visitor about any of my babies. When you talk to people all you're going to get is their experience and opinions. I didn't ask anyone after that apart from the HV. It might be worth talking to your HV instead she will probably give you some tips?

@Falseknock i think that’s a great suggestion really and yes i think your right!
I agree, I just think there is a way people can go about sharing their opinions and experiences without being belittling or saying things that are quite harmful to someone who really is in quite a vulnerable position.

I will say apps such as peanut though are much more supportive for new mothers from other mothers and I believe that’s because your profile isn’t anonymous when responding

Do it yourself if you're that bothered.

No thanks, I wouldn't bother wasting my time. Interesting that you haven't answered why you won't call out her posts though, I suppose you've got to look out for each other.
I wouldn't defend a bully.

Is it ‘interesting’ or is it just obvious?

Your bickering with another poster isn’t my concern.

I’ve made it abundantly clear that my concern is OP, the 4-week post partum mother to a who is posting on (what is supposed to be) a parenting support forum, only to receive literally hundreds of belittling, sarcastic, condescending swearing replies. As I have clearly demonstrated. Including from you.

You say you wouldn’t defend a bully – so why are you asking me to defend you?

He's a 4 week old baby? Is he prem? If not he's really not that delicate that his sister picking him up is going to hurt him.

I think Dancingintherain has set up another profile...yawn

Are you serious? Where am I asking you to defend me? And more to the point , why the hell would I want or need you to?, I'm not a bully and I don't side with them either, unlike yourself it seems. Bloody hell, there's no need for you to make stuff up because you don't know what to write.

You've pulled up loads of unpleasant comments from posters, yet none from the poster I've mentioned, that's because she's team OP, just like you are. What does that say about you?
Now, I understand that OP has just had a baby, but she did choose to post on a public forum to ask if she was being unreasonable regarding the step daughter picking the baby up. She was told by many that she was, but also, she DID receive comments regarding her dsd's place in the family unit.

OP hasn't been a shy and retiring character in all of this, and has bitten back at many posters. She might've been better to post in the parenting section, rather than to post on a topic (AIBU) where she would invite differences of opinion.

Oh really? Is that the best you can do?

Fuck me, are you lot ever going to give up? You’re like a bunch of teenagers, except they generally have better things to be doing than bickering on the internet all day.

So true

@Dancingintherain11 sorry, mumsnet.. given away from the name. Doesn’t that mean we should all be parents?

@SomeOfTheTrouble the conversation should have ended about 20 pages back if we are all going to be honest. It’s a never ending merry go round of rubbish

I agree most of this has been absolute rubbish. The fact is most people wouldn't want a child of 12 picking up a 4 week old baby. If child had asked if she could hold the baby, an appropriate response could be to suggest the child sits on the sofa and has the baby placed in their arms. Providing of course the baby was awake and it was a good time. Perhaps next time she visits that could be suggested. 🙂

You’re asking me why I’m not pulling up Petitchat and quoting her because you think she’s bullying you and whoever else.

You've pulled up loads of unpleasant comments from posters, yet none from the poster I've mentioned, that's because she's team OP, just like you are. What does that say about you?

Uh - yes, because I’ve told you now a few times now that my concern is OP. So leave me out of your bickering or your problems with others.

Now, I understand that OP has just had a baby, but she did choose to post on a public forum

So she’s ripe to be sworn at at least 5-6 times on the first few pages? No, that doesn’t fly.

Nice try trying to absolve yourself of making condescending comments to the OP. That doesn’t fly either.

Show her how to pick him up safely.

Foster a loving, protective relationship rather than one of suspicion and mistrust.

This, simples.

P.s. as for the rest of ye bickering children, just stop all the stupid bickering in here , cos ye're making such a blooming racket that you could upset the 4yo baby from here!!

She wasn't sworn at least 5 to 6 times on the first few pages.

No need to lie.

I quoted them – yes she was.

How many days are you going to keep this little fight going on for? Have you not got anything better to do?

@Didimum we must be reading different threads then.
As for your comments @SomeOfTheTrouble, have you not got anything better to do than to involve yourself either?

I may post again, I may leave this thread now. But whatever I do is none of your concern. HTH

I quoted directly, all from first 5 pages. Looked again, they are still there. So I'd suggest you are the one reading a different thread.

@Didimum you are wasting your time and breath trying to explain anything fairly and clearly with @Dancingintherain11. They’ll argue black is white…

No, I'm just telling the truth that's all. The comments people have made are there for all to see.