DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

[Pinkpetal9999]

My DSD (12) was visiting, our newborn is 4 weeks old and still has a delicate neck. I am happy with DSD holding her brother as long as one of us has put him in a position that keeps his neck supported. She will hold him from time to time if we are in another room.

However to my horror the other day I saw her taking him out of his Moses basket and putting him back.

Am I being unreasonable in that I feel that’s a step too far?

I take it you're talking about her step mum. Thought so.

@Dancingintherain11 you seem to be skirting past the topic of my son?

Ok. Let's say she wasn't just "a passing visitor" and her father and step mum thought the world of her, she thought of the place as home, she stayed over whenever she wanted, what word would you use then?

You don't remember saying that yourself then?
It's there in black and white.

I'm not going to respond to your incessant questioning, so don't engage with me again as you'll be ignored, you're most annoying with your repeatedly inane comment

Go away.

Yeah, thought you'd catch yourself out and be unable to reply.
Think you owe OP an apology, though?
Bye...

Poor kid, new baby and your son get to live with daddy, she doesn't. She must be feeling odd. Include her.

Show her repeatedly and often how to do it properly. That is how people have learned to care for babies since forever.

Don't leave her (or your son) alone with him. Supervise and teach. 12 year olds are not best known for impulse control and command of consequences.

I'm not skirting past anything, the post is about your 'horror' at finding your step daughter holding the baby is it not?
Besides, you've said that your son hasn't attempted to pick the baby up, so it's irrelevant.

Why are you asking the same question over and over again? That’s already been answered.

@Dancingintherain11
What a load of BS.
I have asked in response to the ‘incorrect’ wording used. Nothing to do with the picking up of the baby, but you are well aware of this, you just don’t have an answer…

double standards as always on MN

She has told both children that they can hold the baby but not pick him up from his moses basket. OP's son hasn't tried to pick him up but her DSD has.

If she had told her DSD that she was not allowed to pick the baby up by herself but had told her son that he was allowed, that would be different treatment.

If she had told both children not to pick the baby up, but her son did pick him up and OP was fine with it but cross when her DSD did the same thing, that would also be different treatment.

You are determined to show OP in the worst possible light as a step-mother that discriminates against her step-daughter but allows her son to do things that she has forbidden her step-daughter from doing but that isn't what has happened here.

I get it now.

The posters who are endlessly nit picking at the OP and showing no understanding of her being a new mother, are likely to be men.

Men can't understand how a new mother would feel, although they recognise she is vulnerable.
Some men take it out on women when they're unhappy themseves.
Some men can't deal with confrontation or questions so they cut women off.
Men who like to dominate a vulnerable woman, regurgitate the same old shit over and over.
Some men don't care that in acting gratuitously for their own satisfaction, they are putting down a young girl.

Which is what's happening here.

Who on earth says my child is visiting his dad when he goes there every week?

Doesn’t ring true, sorry.

Great post. At last, someone with sense and empathy 😊

You are so determined to paint OP as the wicked step-mother and her step-daughter as barely tolerated and treated like an unwanted guest that you are just making up imaginary scenarios. You're being really weird about the whole thing.

You're the one who isn't calm though. You are taking everything very personally.

Who on earth says my child is visiting

I did.
When I got divorced and remarried, my teenage son stayed with his dad to continue his exams at the same school.

When he came to ours, we said he was visiting. And that was my own son, who knew he could "visit" and stay over as much as he wanted.

Omg, I said the word VISIT!
I must have really hated my own son!

@nomas again you’ve chosen selective reading, every other week I said

I hope you are all just as outraged when people refer to their children they are going to their mums or their dads house to stay…
we must remember the house is also the child’s and not solely the parents 😅

The menz are confusing themselves..

Op, you asked for our opinion on this,82% think you're being unreasonable but you're just coming at anyone who disagrees with you.

Yes you'd do well to remember the house is also the child's, a child should feel like anywhere any of their parent's live is also their home, and not that they are merely visiting, (oh and I've already said more than once what my interpretation of what that word means in this context, so no need to keep banging on about it)

You said the word visiting, and people have pulled you up on it so you've now felt the need to back track and argue with everyone who 'dared' to bring that point to your attention.
You also had a massive over reaction to your dsd picking the baby up, I could understand if she was dragging him out the basket by his arm, but you haven't said that she held him that way.

You haven't even said that she wasn't holding him properly, you were just in 'horror' that she'd picked him up, and thought it was a 'step too far:.
It wouldn't surprise me if you now come back at me with something like 'she wasn't supporting his neck and his head when she lifted him up', but if that was the case I'm sure you'd have already made sure you wrote that before

You've said that the baby was screaming, but gave differing times to when he actually did scream, maybe your dsd did inadvertently wake him, but that doesn't mean she wasn't being careful with how she handled him.

As for the incessantly irritating poster who now assumes posters who don't suck up to you are men, she's completely wrong when it comes to me, I'm a woman and a mother and I think you've acted totally over the top.

I couldn't agree more, along with two or three side kicks.

It's been a lot more than posters thinking she's being unreasonable.

Have you RTFT?
For some it's been a vendetta to make her look like the worst mother since sliced bread.
For some weird reason?
I actually think some of them are men with massive chips on their shoulders.

And it hasn't been OP "just coming at anyone who disagrees"
She's been defending herself against the most ridiculous posts I've ever seen and a few of us have been supporting her.

Men always deny they are men when they're being keyboard warriors stirring up trouble.
Seen it all before.......