DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

[Pinkpetal9999]

My DSD (12) was visiting, our newborn is 4 weeks old and still has a delicate neck. I am happy with DSD holding her brother as long as one of us has put him in a position that keeps his neck supported. She will hold him from time to time if we are in another room.

However to my horror the other day I saw her taking him out of his Moses basket and putting him back.

Am I being unreasonable in that I feel that’s a step too far?

Completely missing the point....

If she lives with her mother the majority of the time then yes, she was visiting. That’s the meaning of the word.

The 11 and 12yr old DSD and DS are being treated the same. Read the posts.

Well we are all ignorant of the facts except the ones OP shared on the thread- so we’re all working with those and making our judgements.

@hungrypanda4 youve got to be cold as ice to consider a little girl a visitor in her own dads home. It might not be her primary residence but when you are a child, your parents are your home.

Christ alive what is wrong with people.

She's not too exhausted and confused to post on here regarding her 'horror' that her dsd had picked the baby, which is a complete over reaction.

What's your word for a little girl spending some time at her dad's then?
She doesn't live there so she's ?

so she's at her second home.

or she is home for the weekend.

You've never heard of a post natal mum over reacting?
Never heard of hormones? Wow!!

Incidentally, what's your word for dsd paying a visit, but doesn't live there?

So OP's first post should have said:

1. My DSD (12) was at her second home

1. My DSD (12) is home for the weekend

No.1. doesn't sound right.

No.2. is not only similar to "visiting"
but is the same as OP's third post where she said "staying with us"

So what exactly is the problem?

YADNBU
You need to be VERY careful with his neck and head, at this stage.

I wouldn’t let her do it without your supervision at the very least, if at all tbh. It’s far too risky and there could be dire consequences.

Too true. My 2nd son had the wobbliest head you've ever seen, for quite a while.
I use to worry that it would never strengthen but of course it did eventually 😊

This wording malarkey is just ridiculous, my son goes to his dad’s house every other weekend and I don’t refer to it as his second home. I refer to it as him going to his dads or visiting his dad.

(1) - realistically who is going to say this in a conversation. It’s not how i talk

(2) - this makes more sense and I can adopt this in the future, but it’s basically the same thing. When i was university and my parents would say I’m back visiting for the weekend. It means the same thing really, people have just chosen to take serious offence to it. I didn’t hate my parents for not referring to it as “home for the weekend” I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it.

previous post should say “visiting for the weekend”

When i was university and my parents would say I’m back visiting for the weekend. It means the same thing really, people have just chosen to take serious offence to it. I didn’t hate my parents for not referring to it as “home for the weekend” I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it.

Surely you can see that that’s not the same thing though? We are talking about a 12 year old and a step family.

@Blessthismess2 I said I would use the same wording regarding my son going to his dads, and I’m near 100% they have used the same wording also.
Is my son any less loved or not part of their family… absolutely not. They are both loved and supported in both households, and we teach they are even more special because they get to have the love from two families.
We have been a blended family for a long time, you all need to bloody chill

I imagine the word 'visiting' has been used because the 12 year old is literally visiting her own father, just like you would a friend, and her father's home isn't to be seen as 'her home' it seems.
It's as if she's just a guest who drops in every other week probably just for a few hours. Poor girl.

@Dancingintherain11 boring

Poor girl..........

🤣 🤣 🤣

@Blessthismess

What would you have called it then?

And your word for it?

I'm interested to see what others would call it but so far not had anything that fits really...

I'll bet this 12 year old girl would feel very hurt and insulted by some random on the internet suggesting her father's home isn't to be seen as her home.

Haven’t RTFT. My kids were 13 and nearly 10
when my 3rd was born. We showed them how to pick him up and put him down from day 1, and they did. 🤷‍♀️ We had some rules like not carrying him up or down stairs but otherwise they got on with it and it was all fine.

I've said what it is, 'visiting', because it appears that's all she is to her father and step mum, a passing visitor.
I must say, you seem obsessed with asking what everyone else would say instead of visiting, calm down FFS.