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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked people are actually rear-facing their primary age kids

291 replies

EmsandPens · 02/09/2025 02:44

My DD is 4, 5 in December and we swapped her from rear facing to forward facing in January this year. She started primary school recently and I noticed one of her classmates is still rear facing. I know the family from around town but had never seen them putting their kids in the car before and I know this child is already 5 and has pretty long legs for her age.

I know on Mumsnet it’s quite common to hear people saying rear facing until 6/7 is best but I had never actually seen anyone around here doing it.

AIBU to be shocked people actually rear face their primary age children?
Did you rear face your child past 4?

OP posts:
ItsAMoooPoint · 02/09/2025 02:56

My kids rear-faced until they outgrew their extended rear-facing seats, which were at 4 and 5 respectively. My kids are incredibly big (one is above the top centile, the other the 91st), so they outgrew their seats earlier than I would have liked. My youngest is about to turn 6 and he moaned just yesterday that he misses his rear-facing seat as it was so much more comfortable instead of having his legs dangling the way they are now.

It's really not a big deal, not sure why you are so shocked by it?

Bobbie12345678 · 02/09/2025 03:10

Shocked seems a strange word to use. Surprised, maybe.
The evidence says rear facing is safest in an accident at all ages. If we were being smart, adults other than the driver would be rear facing too.
When my kids were small it wasn’t an option, but if I had young children now I would keep them rear facing as long as possible.

Squishymallows · 02/09/2025 03:18

More likely shocks me that some people forward face tbeir kids when they outgrow their infant carrier aged 1

IKnowExactly · 02/09/2025 03:39

Yes, I did. This was over 10 years ago.

One child outgrew it on weight at aged 5, the other was 7.

IKnowExactly · 02/09/2025 03:42

My kids both found it uncomfortable when they forward faced and had their legs dangling down.

They loved rear facing. There was room for their legs and they had a better view out of the car windows.

We were in a car accident where a car hit us at five from behind. We had whiplash but the kids were absolutely fine which I put down to them being rear facing.

AnimalFarm567 · 02/09/2025 03:43

What exactly do you find "shocking"? What is it that you disapprove of?

pepperminticecream · 02/09/2025 03:46

Everyone has already said it: It is safer if your kids are still under the weight or height limit and not shocking that the parents were putting the safety of their child first.

Happyhappyday · 02/09/2025 04:25

My DC also preferred rear facing. She actually whined so much at my parents (age 4) that she convinced them to pull off the motorway on a long journey and turn her back around. They were convinced we were being ridiculous to keep her rear facing until then. Now she is forward facing in a booster (age 7) and kicks the passenger seat constantly because her legs dangle…

MikeRafone · 02/09/2025 04:27

Shocked that someone follows safety guidance? Really

Surely it would be shocking you’re not still placing your child rear facing?

Chick981 · 02/09/2025 04:36

Not sure what starting school has to do with someone’s safety in a car??

Ballardz · 02/09/2025 04:42

DC is about to start school and we’ve just bought an extended rear facing seat. Until we can’t rear face for sny reason, we play to do it until the kids outgrow their seats.

It’s really not that shocking…

Turnups · 02/09/2025 04:54

Why is it shocking? Research shows backward-facing is safer. My youngest moved to forward-facing last month. He’s a small 7.

Jasmine222 · 02/09/2025 04:57

My kids felt so carsick that I had to forward face them much earlier than I'd have liked to. I'm surprised so many people's kids don't get carsick. I cant even sit rear facing on a train without feeling sick.

backandforthup · 02/09/2025 05:22

Surely rear facing seats are for babies? Not for age 5. That sounds so uncomfortable and squashed in

UpUpAwayz · 02/09/2025 05:25

backandforthup · 02/09/2025 05:22

Surely rear facing seats are for babies? Not for age 5. That sounds so uncomfortable and squashed in

Edited

If you think rear facing is just for babies then you have a lot of reading to do.

ReplacementBusService · 02/09/2025 05:27

There's a lot of shocking things in this world. Probably best to try n relax some of the shock on this one.

NatalieH2220 · 02/09/2025 05:41

Sadly it’s less common as people just don’t understand car safety or are too worried about what other people think. I will absolutely keep my children as safe as possible as long as possible.

My son starts school tomorrow (5 in November) and is ‘still’ rear facing, he will be for at least another 2 years. My eldest was 6.5 before he switched to forward facing and very tall so the leg length is a non issue if you invest in a decent seat.

verycloakanddaggers · 02/09/2025 05:44

You're shocked that some parents follow car safety advice? People have been doing this for years because the research shows it is safer.

materialgworl · 02/09/2025 05:47

I am surprised like you OP I haven’t seen it in real life too

Natsku · 02/09/2025 05:48

Jasmine222 · 02/09/2025 04:57

My kids felt so carsick that I had to forward face them much earlier than I'd have liked to. I'm surprised so many people's kids don't get carsick. I cant even sit rear facing on a train without feeling sick.

Yeah, I would have loved to have kept my son rear facing longer but he was vomiting constantly in the car and was utterly miserable.

Oldel · 02/09/2025 05:48

It's none of your business, really, is it?

Just as I'm sure you'd say it's none of my business if I said I'm shocked you don't feel the need to keep your child as safe as possible.

WaltzingWaters · 02/09/2025 05:50

What you should be shocked about is that the majority of people forward face their children ridiculously and dangerously young, and that’s because there’s a severe lack of information on the dangers of forward facing in a 5 point harness. FF in a 5 point harness during a serious crash pins the body back and elevates the neck and head forwards, which can result in deadly or severe consequences. Therefore children shouldn’t FF until they are both big enough and mature enough to FF with a normal seatbelt in a high back booster. So yes, as my DS is small centiles, he will be staying in his extended RF seat until he’s outgrown it, which should be around 6ish.

So really your shock should be towards the lack of information on the dangers of FF too young, and the advantages of extended RF.

autienotnaughty · 02/09/2025 05:57

Well it is safer but like all things you assess the risk, your child’s comfort, the type of journeys you go on, the level of risk etc. and you do what you feel is best.
We rear faced my son until he was 5 and then he was too uncomfortable (he was pretty tall) so we changed it. My in-laws were weirdly put out by it, like they literally refused to believe it was safer.

Iocainepowder · 02/09/2025 06:01

I don’t know anyone at all IRL who rear faces their kids. It’s only on here that i’ve read about it tbh.

TheChosenTwo · 02/09/2025 06:01

Squishymallows · 02/09/2025 03:18

More likely shocks me that some people forward face tbeir kids when they outgrow their infant carrier aged 1

We did this with our oldest 2, had no idea at the time that this was so controversial, they outgrew their first car seats and the next stage up were forward facing seats!
they are adults now, I wonder if many people were rear facing for much longer back then, certainly no one seemed very shocked about it at the time.
youngest is a teen and rear faced for longer but by 2 he was forward.