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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked people are actually rear-facing their primary age kids

291 replies

EmsandPens · 02/09/2025 02:44

My DD is 4, 5 in December and we swapped her from rear facing to forward facing in January this year. She started primary school recently and I noticed one of her classmates is still rear facing. I know the family from around town but had never seen them putting their kids in the car before and I know this child is already 5 and has pretty long legs for her age.

I know on Mumsnet it’s quite common to hear people saying rear facing until 6/7 is best but I had never actually seen anyone around here doing it.

AIBU to be shocked people actually rear face their primary age children?
Did you rear face your child past 4?

OP posts:
pimlicopubber · 05/09/2025 05:48

Duechristmas · 02/09/2025 07:27

Not convinced of this, I had one in the 70s

Grew up in the 90s and didn't have one! My husband did though.

Barrenfieldoffucks · 05/09/2025 07:18

I was born in 1981 and it wasn't obligatory, my dad thought this was bonkers and engineered a seat/restraint himself for us himself.

BertieBotts · 05/09/2025 14:09

pimlicopubber · 05/09/2025 05:48

Grew up in the 90s and didn't have one! My husband did though.

Did you have older siblings esp with a big gap between them and you? This would be quite unusual in the 90s. In 1993 a law was passed to require all children under 3 to use a child seat, although it was still allowed for children aged 3+ to just use a seatbelt (or nothing, in the back, if one wasn't available).

OTOH I was born in the late 80s, so just short of this law, I don't remember using a child seat and only occasionally a booster seat when my grandad read an article about them and insisted on them, but we all thought he was being silly and overprotective. I know I did use a car seat as a toddler, because there's a picture of me in it, but it's before I can remember.

I don't know how much was made of this in the news etc, so it's possible if you had older siblings, your parents just did the same as they had for them, not realising the law had changed. The first ever UK law involving child seats was passed in 1989, but it was fairly pointless as it basically was only a problem if there was a child seat installed and the child in question wasn't in it. If you just didn't have one, it didn't matter.

1991 was when seatbelts had to be fitted in the back and front of all cars, I believe this included retrofitting, apart from classic cars over a certain age, but don't know the exact details any more. This would have made a big difference in the ability to fit child seats, because if you didn't have seatbelts in the back of your car, you had to bolt the seat to the seatbelt mounting point using special straps, so they couldn't easily be moved between vehicles or moved for an adult to sit there. I assume this is the reason that the law before 1993 was about using child seats only "when available" - because they were permanently installed.

I suspect we have a similar "blind spot" happening currently, because the law changed again in 2006, stating that children over 3 but under 12 or 135cm must continue to use a child seat or booster seat.

Anyone under 10/11 in 2006 (so, currently under 30) is likely to be aware of this rule, because they would remember it affecting them. So the "blind spot" will pass within the next 10-15 years as this cohort have primary school aged children.

Anyone working in the industry takes it for granted that it's obvious, because it's been the case for nearly 20 years.

But it's not obvious to someone who was already over 12 in 2006, ie, adults currently in their 30s/40s - it's much more likely that they don't remember a law change which happened 20 years ago when they themselves were in their teens or mid 20s and not thinking about children at all. They probably take it for granted that very young children need child seats, because these have been in common use throughout their entire lifetime, but the use among older children has not been consistent, and the publicity about the law change stopped years ago. Some people will look it up to be sure, but some people will simply make an assumption.

So you have quite a lot of parents of primary school aged children currently who automatically buy and use child seats for their babies and toddlers, but don't realise that they are required up to 12 years of age or 135cm, and stop using them early.

Sirzy · 05/09/2025 21:07

I was born 84, my parents had a car seat for me from day 1 but from what they have told me they were very much in the minority taking that approach.

I have no memories of being in a car seat, but I do remember my Grandma sitting me on a cushion so I could see out the window!

Thankfully in the last 40 years we have learnt a lot about car seat safety.

cobrakaieaglefang · 06/09/2025 06:53

My kids were born late 80, early 90s, all had car seats the moment we bought a car. Prior to getting a car, we occasionally travelled in my GPs car. I bought tethers for DS1s carrycot and fastened that on the back seat. 🙈 Grandfathers car didn't have rear seat belts, he wasn't thrilled at me asking to screw tethers into his car but I insisted.
Getting our own car both boys were in forward facing car seats, when DD was born she had rear facing infant carrier that also clipped onto the pushchair. We swopped cars as well so all three could fit across the back seat. Rear facing beyond infants wasn't a thing. Booster seats from 4 were normal.
A relative, younger than me, put her 9 month on a booster seat as he was 'so advanced' ! 🤔🙈😂

Gerardormikey · 06/09/2025 09:20

My eldest is in his 20s. People I know with my now 5 year old are shocked when they find out how young they were put in big forward facing seats two decades ago.

I turned my 4 year olds seat around just before her 4th birthday.

Someone I knew from an activity group saw me and went fucking nuts. Like you know when you want to ask someone if they need help because their reactions are so bizarre? Really over the top and then she got other members of the group to bombard me with videos of crash test dummies. I had to block the lot of them.

They were a bonkers lot in general though.

Gerardormikey · 06/09/2025 09:22

I was born in 1980 and spent many a long drive to Cornwall napping on the parcel shelf.

Quickdissolve · 10/09/2025 08:49

Gerardormikey · 06/09/2025 09:20

My eldest is in his 20s. People I know with my now 5 year old are shocked when they find out how young they were put in big forward facing seats two decades ago.

I turned my 4 year olds seat around just before her 4th birthday.

Someone I knew from an activity group saw me and went fucking nuts. Like you know when you want to ask someone if they need help because their reactions are so bizarre? Really over the top and then she got other members of the group to bombard me with videos of crash test dummies. I had to block the lot of them.

They were a bonkers lot in general though.

nah… because they we’re trying my to help you. That you took that as so bizzare is on your lack of education on the topic. I’m sorry you aren’t educated, that sucks.

Rumors1 · 10/09/2025 08:58

Well OP prepare to have your mind blown. My 14.5 year old still uses a booster seat sometimes. He is tiny, only 4ft 8 and 34kg so technically still in the height and weight range of needing a car seat.
Without the booster, the seatbelt sits right across his neck risking decapitation in a car accident. His safety is our priority and he prefers it as he can see out the window better and it is more comfortable. If we are bringing his friends in the car, we remove it so he doesnt get bullied (though on one occasion I forgot and his friends fought to sit in it!).

Winebefore5 · 10/09/2025 19:14

I’m always pleasantly surprised when I see older children rear facing. Sadly far too many parents in the uk forward face too early.

when you can get ERF to 36kg/ 125cm we should see a lot more primary school kids rear facing.

Winebefore5 · 10/09/2025 19:16

Also, anyone who forward faces because they don’t have space to rear face…you need a 55cm survival gap between your child’s face and the seat infront of them. If you don’t have room to rear face, you don’t have room to forward face either.

Sprogonthetyne · 10/09/2025 20:11

My kids both RF until 18kg, as that was the maximum weight one a reasonablely priced and easy to buy seat at the time. There was about a years age difference on when they reached that weight, so the skinnier one RF until a bit older. If they still fitted in the seat I wouldn't have thought to change just because they had started school, as to me those things aren't linked in the slightest.

GingerBeverage · 10/09/2025 21:32

I need this thread but for TO BE SHOCKED SO MANY PARENTS ALLOW THEIR KIDS TO RIDE SCOOTERS AND BIKES WITHOUT HELMETS.

Literally every single day I see small children without helmets on.

snoopyfanaccountant · 11/09/2025 21:46

Rumors1 · 10/09/2025 08:58

Well OP prepare to have your mind blown. My 14.5 year old still uses a booster seat sometimes. He is tiny, only 4ft 8 and 34kg so technically still in the height and weight range of needing a car seat.
Without the booster, the seatbelt sits right across his neck risking decapitation in a car accident. His safety is our priority and he prefers it as he can see out the window better and it is more comfortable. If we are bringing his friends in the car, we remove it so he doesnt get bullied (though on one occasion I forgot and his friends fought to sit in it!).

My now 21 year old DD was in a HBB until she was 13.5 when she outgrew it (she still wears 11-12 year pjs). I kept her in the HBB because she was happy to use it and she falls asleep in the car so I felt that she was safer leaning on the head wings of her HBB rather than flopping against the seatbelt.

MrsStowToBe · 14/09/2025 09:44

My son turned 7 in July and we just literally started forward facing, he's in year 3

MrsStowToBe · 14/09/2025 10:30

My son turned 7 in July and has literally just turned forward facing! He's in year 3

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