To be shocked people are actually rear-facing their primary age kids

[EmsandPens]

My DD is 4, 5 in December and we swapped her from rear facing to forward facing in January this year. She started primary school recently and I noticed one of her classmates is still rear facing. I know the family from around town but had never seen them putting their kids in the car before and I know this child is already 5 and has pretty long legs for her age.

I know on Mumsnet it’s quite common to hear people saying rear facing until 6/7 is best but I had never actually seen anyone around here doing it.

AIBU to be shocked people actually rear face their primary age children?
Did you rear face your child past 4?

I kept my eldest rear facing till he outgrew his rear facing seat. He was 2 months short of his 5th birthday and weighed around 17.5kg. I then forward faced him. My youngest is 2.5 and I have no plans to forward face until he too has outgrown the rear facing seat, so likely also close to 5.
Rear facing is 5 times safer so I do understand parents who rear face for longer, including up to 7. It's a personal choice. And not something I'd judge other parents for. (Whether forward or rear facing)

We have a Skoda Octavia and Axkid minikid was fine in there for our 90th centile 6yo. We only moved him out as his 4yo sister had outgrown her car seat and needed the Axkid.

I don’t think it’s reasonable to be shocked. Advice changes and people respond to this. Advice can change quite quickly… my eldest now 24 years was in an approved rear facing car seat until he was about 9 months old! It wasn’t even anchored or had a base, it seems madness now. My younger child now 21 had a larger, fixed rear facing until about 18 months of age as this had appeared as a safer option. Given the information available now I absolutely would have kept them rear facing for much longer!

We did exactly the same. He then started enjoying car journeys so much more. My older two were facing forward from much younger than that! I only know one person whose 5 year old still faced backwards in a car.

Same here.

I was more shocked at the idiot grandparents ignoring the toddler's car seat and driving off with the toddler on the front passenger's lap. I did have a word with them about it at the first chance I got. It wasn't the first time they'd done it.

ERF at school age hasn't caught on around here yet, and I'm still more likely to have to insist that an under-height 9-10 yo is not going in my car without a booster regardless of what they do in their own cars. My car, my legal responsibility.

ERF was very new and very niche when my 14 & 12 yo were born. Very expensive, online only. They had a 0+ car seat. I kept DS2 in it for longer as his square build fitted the harnesses better and he was happy. DS1 became too long, and also at around 12-13m began screaming relentlessly and it was far too distracting to be able to drive safely in that condition. While RF has benefits in some types of impact, it's better to drive safely with full concentration and avoid all impacts.

DS1's lean (long backed) proprortions didn't fit car seat law. When he outgrew one car seat out- growing the head support and harnesses being behind his shoulders, he ended up in a stupid gap where he was too light for the HBB with harnesses which was the next stage.

Most people will do what is legal, avaliable, affordable, fits the car and is comfortable for the child (including issues like travel sickness). The outcome of that is variable.

The decisions I made a decade ago would be different today because cars and seats have changed (hopefully DS would have been happier for longer...)
But the safety benefits of ERF do have diminishing returns as the child gets older and stronger.

My child will rear face until they grow out of their ERF seat so 125cm tall/36kg

Not sure why parents going above crappy uk gov standards is surprising

Not convinced of this, I had one in the 70s

For everyone saying their children are moaning, or kicking the seat, because their legs are dangling, put a box or small step on the floor of the car for them - it's much more comfortable

My daughter is 6 in December. She still rear faces.

I’ve never seen a child over 16 months rear facing. I have a small car so couldn’t fit a bigger rear facing car seat. I wouldn’t have chosen one anyway as my daughter was car sick. Moved dd to forward facing at 15-16 months because of both the above reasons. It’s not safe to drive with a car sick screaming toddler.

I know plenty of people who don’t use a car seat at all for their 7 year olds, but that doesn’t mean it is safe!

It’s bullshit like this that I can’t stand.

Instead of sneering, if it’s something you feel strongly about, try to share information with someone to educate them.

Honestly, the preachy posts on here rival the BF/FF threads on here.

I have to say that rear facing beyond maybe 1yo was not a thing when mine were little )in 20s now) but it sounds really sensible and hardly shocking OP. I think you must lead a very sheltered life!

As long as the kids are within the maximum dimensions allowable for the seat I don’t see the issue

I do think it sounds uncomfortable for most though

I had no idea about this to be honest! I thought rear facing was until 18 months onward so my 1.5 year old has been switched to forward facing. Should I put it back? Sorry if this is ignorant, I hadn't heard of this until now

I rear faced my son until he was 6 and outgrew the seat. I don’t think it’s shocking to buy something with that purpose and use it until outgrown. Why would I have spent more money on a less safe forward facing seat instead just because he’d started school? That would have been shocking!

You were “shocked”, OP - really 😂

How dare people follow safety advice that you don’t, eh?

At least they are in a car seat, in the car next to my DD parents had belts on, the 3 kids of different ages not a car seat or belt on either of them

It's actually safer to rear face. Forward facing in a harness is incredibly unsafe as in a crash the head will be thrown forward at force but the body will be held down by the harness. This could put a lot of pressure on the childs neck and spine and can lead to internal decapitation. Children should only forward face when they are tall and heavy enough to be able to move into a high back booster with a seatbelt.

We have the Axkid One 3, the amount of leg room is insane. It will hopefully last my child till 5/6 depending on height/weight.

i would certainly look into it. It is much safer.

In a lot of scandavian countries rear facing to 4+ is standard. The rules here tend to focus on the minimum rather than the safest

Shocked people want to use the equipment available to keep their kids safe? On busy, narrow and fast roads?

Id be more shocked at parents who DONT do all they can to keep their children alive.

You think it’s “really irresponsible” not to want to make your child car sick every journey?

No it’s not shocking for a parent to be making the safest choices for their child. It should be commended. It’s excellent that extended rear facing in this country is starting to catch up with other countries

I think alot of people see car sickness as a lesser evil to death or severe injury in a car crash.