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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked people are actually rear-facing their primary age kids

291 replies

EmsandPens · 02/09/2025 02:44

My DD is 4, 5 in December and we swapped her from rear facing to forward facing in January this year. She started primary school recently and I noticed one of her classmates is still rear facing. I know the family from around town but had never seen them putting their kids in the car before and I know this child is already 5 and has pretty long legs for her age.

I know on Mumsnet it’s quite common to hear people saying rear facing until 6/7 is best but I had never actually seen anyone around here doing it.

AIBU to be shocked people actually rear face their primary age children?
Did you rear face your child past 4?

OP posts:
IKnowExactly · 03/09/2025 23:52

Airspice · 03/09/2025 18:49

I’m baffled! My kids are now 16 & 17 but in their day rear facing ended at about 2! As soon as you were too big for the baby carrier you went into a forward facing car seat? Same with all my friend’s kids. When did that change?!

My eldest is 6th form age and rear faced until 7 years.

IKnowExactly · 03/09/2025 23:56

Madisnttheword · 03/09/2025 19:39

So did I. Both of my kids were front facing from 18 months old. They were both very tall for their age and it was not comfortable for them to be squished in rear facing

I think that the people that are thinking that extended rear facing squishes a child's legs are imagining an infant carrier/first car seat.

Extended rear facing seats offer leg room for older children. The part of the seat where the children's legs go does not touch the actual seat of the car.

IKnowExactly · 03/09/2025 23:57

IKnowExactly · 03/09/2025 23:31

It cost us £400 back in the day but It's only £125 now!!!!

https://incarsafetycentre.co.uk/products/kiss-2-plus

We had the Kiss 2 in our Ford Focus with two tall/long legged parents.

nixon1976 · 04/09/2025 00:31

When did the information change to suggest rear facing until an older age? My youngest is 13 and it was always front facing after moving out of the initial baby seat at around 4-6 months

FairyBatman · 04/09/2025 01:17

What amazes me is the number of adults who refuse to sit facing backwards on a train but happily sit their kids facing backwards. I get that it’s safer, but how do they not feel sick?

FullLondonEye · 04/09/2025 01:51

seasid · 03/09/2025 21:41

These parents will l get black out drunk and ‘look after’ their kids whilst in that state and leave drugs around the home where kids can access them - but god forbid forward facing their children because it’s ‘unsafe’.

I have known parents to meet with other parents after school at the pub and will drive home after drinking but will preach about how unsafe forward facing kids are. Like, don’t you think drunk driving is unsafe out of anything, but you still do that?

Yeah, I don’t know anyone who does that 🤷‍♀️. If you really wanted to stretch the argument I’d suggest that drunk driving your children in a rear facing seat is still going to be safer than drunk driving them in a forward facing seat. However I’m not aware of any direct correlation between parents’ drinking habits and their choice to forward or rear-face their child in a car so I’m not sure where your post fits in to this discussion.

labooboo · 04/09/2025 01:56

nixon1976 · 04/09/2025 00:31

When did the information change to suggest rear facing until an older age? My youngest is 13 and it was always front facing after moving out of the initial baby seat at around 4-6 months

Yes, same with my DS who is 14. He was in the small baby seat (the type you can hand-hold and move out of the car) then once he outgrew that, it was forward facing. It does seem there are others with similar aged DC who did extended rear facing so clearly the benefits were known and out there, but I certainly wasn’t aware- I don’t even recall extended rear-facing car seats being in mothercare/halfords/argos and I seemed to be following the right ‘guidelines’ at the time?

TheNightingalesStarling · 04/09/2025 06:47

nixon1976 · 04/09/2025 00:31

When did the information change to suggest rear facing until an older age? My youngest is 13 and it was always front facing after moving out of the initial baby seat at around 4-6 months

It was 9 months minimum when yours were a baby... the baby seats went to 13kg.
It changed to 15months minimum in 2017.

Baby26 · 04/09/2025 07:37

FairyBatman · 04/09/2025 01:17

What amazes me is the number of adults who refuse to sit facing backwards on a train but happily sit their kids facing backwards. I get that it’s safer, but how do they not feel sick?

I think it tends to be hereditary. I have no issue facing backwards on transport - train or bus. My 3 year old has never complained of feeling sick either. If he had, I would forward face him. As he doesn't, he's fine rear-facing. He has had a couple of 'goes' at forward facing - has never showed a preference for it either.

Namechange4466543 · 04/09/2025 08:15

NatalieH2220 · 02/09/2025 05:41

Sadly it’s less common as people just don’t understand car safety or are too worried about what other people think. I will absolutely keep my children as safe as possible as long as possible.

My son starts school tomorrow (5 in November) and is ‘still’ rear facing, he will be for at least another 2 years. My eldest was 6.5 before he switched to forward facing and very tall so the leg length is a non issue if you invest in a decent seat.

I think because its less common that like you say people simply dont seem too aware.

I never bothered with an infant carrier, some people will find that odd but given an infant is meant to be in it for 30mins max then I didnt see the point. Many use them now on prams. I bought an extended rear facing seat which came with a newborn cushion. It was £600+ but depending on height and weight, will last my child until 6/7. Il be ERF for as long as possible. Its obviously far safer but if it compare what i paid with other premium brand seats, its saved me money in only having to buy one

YourWinter · 04/09/2025 08:50

Why is it any concern of yours? If the child, the seat and the car are all the right size to rear-face, it’s statistically safer so I’d say good on the parents. Perhaps if you were in Sweden you’d see rather more of this, but in any case, you do you.

PeachShaker · 04/09/2025 11:08

Mine was rear facing until age 6. he would have been longer but that seat won’t go in my new car, only my husbands, and he’s left is so we are forward facing now. H would be even safer rear facing and seats exhaust that accommodate this so it’s sensible for parents to rear face until the child outgrows the seat (typically age 6/7, mine may have made 8 as he’s small)

Beeloux · 04/09/2025 11:19

KeenGreen · 03/09/2025 21:05

Axkid and other brands now to extended rear facing seats up to 36KG
so this would be your best bet!

Look for Swedish plus tested seats.

I have a Axkid Minikid 2 my 5yo is in, this is only to 25KG but I believe the minikid 4 is 36kg.

There are some fantastic extended rear facing Facebook groups which can advise and point you to local stockists of ERF seats

Thanks so much will have a look 😊😊 xx

Poetnojo · 04/09/2025 12:49

nixon1976 · 04/09/2025 00:31

When did the information change to suggest rear facing until an older age? My youngest is 13 and it was always front facing after moving out of the initial baby seat at around 4-6 months

The information out there in around 2012 was still forward facing from around 9kg or 13kg I believe but I dug deeper and found out about the ERF being used in Nordic countries and decided to go against the grain and go for a rear facing seat. They were definitely hard to find and very expensive compared to what you could pick up in mothercare or halfords or the like.

Nearly50omg · 04/09/2025 13:04

ItsAMoooPoint · 03/09/2025 21:17

I saw something recently about that, but the height limit was still 125cm which wouldn't help me! My kids are very heavy but also a higher centile for height than for weight, so very tall 😅 They outgrew their Minikid 2 by height rather than weight.

Great that it exists though!

Britax are the ones that had the biggest and widest rear facing car seat with the highest weight range. My youngest was height and weight of a 5 year old at 20 months old and built like a rugby player and the britax car seat he was fine in until he was nearly 7 years old! He was really comfy in it too and complained constantly about his legs and hips being sore when he started forward facing as the weight of them pulling down and the pressure from sitting he’d not had before

nixon1976 · 04/09/2025 13:09

Poetnojo · 04/09/2025 12:49

The information out there in around 2012 was still forward facing from around 9kg or 13kg I believe but I dug deeper and found out about the ERF being used in Nordic countries and decided to go against the grain and go for a rear facing seat. They were definitely hard to find and very expensive compared to what you could pick up in mothercare or halfords or the like.

Edited

Thanks, interesting. There were definitely no rear facing seats that I noticed in the main shops in my day (2012)!

TheNightingalesStarling · 04/09/2025 14:47

nixon1976 · 04/09/2025 13:09

Thanks, interesting. There were definitely no rear facing seats that I noticed in the main shops in my day (2012)!

The first one was on the high street was the Joie Stages in 2014. I think JL had the the Britax 2 way elite before then.

I hadvto go to several shops for the Joie seat when my baby carrier broke and DD2 was a year old but only 8kg.
Mothercare insisted she had to be FF as she was a year old.
Halford however were brilliant. Got the issue immediately... a 1yo didn't need a baby seat but she was also too small for FF.

namechangetheworld · 04/09/2025 15:07

Ours rear faced until they were 5, they were both small for their age. We bought the Cybex Sirona in 2015 when our eldest was born, and I'm pretty sure it was the only extended rear facing in Mothercare at the time. It gave us peace of mind and the kids weren't bothered, it was the norm for them. Other than my DM constantly harping on squashed legs we had no issues at all.

I'm more concerned about the huge amount of little ones sitting in the front and/or without booster seats on the school run. Ours will be in high backed boosters for as long as we can get away with it, the road to school is lethal.

TriciaA1991 · 04/09/2025 15:13

Shockling that people put safety first?? Really?
Child of 7 is happy in a rear facing seat (he is the size of an average 4 year old). Suspect he will be in a rear facing for another two years at least....
Hopefully he will be out by secondary.
Safety is paramount.

snoopyfanaccountant · 04/09/2025 19:22

If it had been an option when mine were that age, they would have been rear-facing until they were too big for their car seats. My late DF was a physicist who understood forces and advocated that every passenger should travel on every form of transport rear facing. He always rear faced on trains and I do too.

My now 21 year old has always been tiny (she still fits 11-12 age pyjamas) and I remember when she was 13 months old a friend questioned me, because of her age, why I still had her in the baby car seat; she still fitted it and her now 24 year old sister still fitted the next seat so I wasn't rushing to force her sister into a HBB (the overlap in the toddler seat would have been too small to justify buying a second seat unnecessarily).
They were both still in HBBs when they started high school (the first version of the Britax Hi-Liner/Adventure) and the younger one finally outgrew it at 13.5.

A friend whose DS is now 16 used an ERF until he was 4 or 5 and I know someone who has her 3 year old in an ERF seat in both her car and her DM's.

IKnowExactly · 04/09/2025 20:32

snoopyfanaccountant · 04/09/2025 19:22

If it had been an option when mine were that age, they would have been rear-facing until they were too big for their car seats. My late DF was a physicist who understood forces and advocated that every passenger should travel on every form of transport rear facing. He always rear faced on trains and I do too.

My now 21 year old has always been tiny (she still fits 11-12 age pyjamas) and I remember when she was 13 months old a friend questioned me, because of her age, why I still had her in the baby car seat; she still fitted it and her now 24 year old sister still fitted the next seat so I wasn't rushing to force her sister into a HBB (the overlap in the toddler seat would have been too small to justify buying a second seat unnecessarily).
They were both still in HBBs when they started high school (the first version of the Britax Hi-Liner/Adventure) and the younger one finally outgrew it at 13.5.

A friend whose DS is now 16 used an ERF until he was 4 or 5 and I know someone who has her 3 year old in an ERF seat in both her car and her DM's.

Yep, we always sit rear facing on a train.

BertieBotts · 04/09/2025 20:38

12/13 years ago ERF wasn't widely known at all and was only spoken about in the depths of internet forums. You had to order seats from specialist dealers and it wasn't easy to find them. Most people had no idea that larger rear facing seats even existed. They definitely weren't available in Mothercare and Halfords. There was a verrrry occasional long AIBU thread about it (which would go mostly like this one, just with younger ages and more on the "Huh?! Where do they put their legs?" side) but mostly discussion of ERF was limited to "What car seat should I get?" threads and most people didn't bother writing or looking for a thread for that, they just went to Mothercare and chose from what the salesperson suggested.

It was about 2013 I believe that the first ERF seat hit high street stores - that was the Cybex Sirona, the original had an impact shield for forward facing and 5 point harness for rear facing, and it was very expensive at the time, about £300 IIRC? Maybe even over that. Bearing in mind, a reasonable price for a seat back then was about £60-120, and the expensive ones (like Maxi Cosi Axiss, which was FF only but the first "spin" seat, turned to the side) were about £150. 2013 was also the launch of the new i-size regulation, which also started a wider conversation about the safety benefits of ERF since one of the rules was RF up to a minimum of 15 months.

MN RAVED about the Axiss BTW - it was all anyone wanted from about 2010-2013 or so. Isofix was also marketed very heavily as this big new safety innovation if you had it in your car, which a lot of people didn't, so the fact that a lot of the ERF seats (if you had even heard of them, which most people hadn't) were belt fitted really put a lot of safety-conscious people off. There were isofix ERF seats, like the Klippan KISS, and the Axkid Kidzofix, but those weren't well known and again, they were expensive. That's why the Sirona, and the Britax Dualfix, which followed shortly after, were revolutionary.

I am fairly certain John Lewis never stocked the Two Way Elite but they almost definitely would have had the Britax First Class, which was a two-way seat but only 13kg RF, then 18kg FF.

Joie had released some seats in 2013 but I think they were only really sold through Toys R Us initially. So ERF started to become more well known because of the sudden availability of these spin, ERF, isofix seats sold in major high street chains. But still they were totally premium seats, most people didn't touch them because they were too expensive or because Maxi Cosi were by far the most popular infant seat, if they'd "invested into" the Maxi Cosi system they just automatically went for the Pearl seat for the next stage, the 2Way Pearl came a bit later as well. I remember a lot of discussion and argument about ERF at this point, as well as impact shields being touted as an alternative - that was what I went for for my son in the end, because it was that much more affordable and portable to me as a non-driver.

Once Joie seats hit a wider market, this made a huge difference again as they were affordable. The Stages was indeed the first model they brought out and it just about fitted into that "reasonable" price bracket, they later had two models under £100. I honestly think this did a huge amount for ERF visibility and availability. Then the Joie 360 Spin (which I have listed as 2016) really transformed the market in itself. Spin seats were already popular but this made them affordable too. Suddenly everyone had one, and that is why I would put 2016 as the tipping point.

labooboo · 04/09/2025 20:50

BertieBotts · 04/09/2025 20:38

12/13 years ago ERF wasn't widely known at all and was only spoken about in the depths of internet forums. You had to order seats from specialist dealers and it wasn't easy to find them. Most people had no idea that larger rear facing seats even existed. They definitely weren't available in Mothercare and Halfords. There was a verrrry occasional long AIBU thread about it (which would go mostly like this one, just with younger ages and more on the "Huh?! Where do they put their legs?" side) but mostly discussion of ERF was limited to "What car seat should I get?" threads and most people didn't bother writing or looking for a thread for that, they just went to Mothercare and chose from what the salesperson suggested.

It was about 2013 I believe that the first ERF seat hit high street stores - that was the Cybex Sirona, the original had an impact shield for forward facing and 5 point harness for rear facing, and it was very expensive at the time, about £300 IIRC? Maybe even over that. Bearing in mind, a reasonable price for a seat back then was about £60-120, and the expensive ones (like Maxi Cosi Axiss, which was FF only but the first "spin" seat, turned to the side) were about £150. 2013 was also the launch of the new i-size regulation, which also started a wider conversation about the safety benefits of ERF since one of the rules was RF up to a minimum of 15 months.

MN RAVED about the Axiss BTW - it was all anyone wanted from about 2010-2013 or so. Isofix was also marketed very heavily as this big new safety innovation if you had it in your car, which a lot of people didn't, so the fact that a lot of the ERF seats (if you had even heard of them, which most people hadn't) were belt fitted really put a lot of safety-conscious people off. There were isofix ERF seats, like the Klippan KISS, and the Axkid Kidzofix, but those weren't well known and again, they were expensive. That's why the Sirona, and the Britax Dualfix, which followed shortly after, were revolutionary.

I am fairly certain John Lewis never stocked the Two Way Elite but they almost definitely would have had the Britax First Class, which was a two-way seat but only 13kg RF, then 18kg FF.

Joie had released some seats in 2013 but I think they were only really sold through Toys R Us initially. So ERF started to become more well known because of the sudden availability of these spin, ERF, isofix seats sold in major high street chains. But still they were totally premium seats, most people didn't touch them because they were too expensive or because Maxi Cosi were by far the most popular infant seat, if they'd "invested into" the Maxi Cosi system they just automatically went for the Pearl seat for the next stage, the 2Way Pearl came a bit later as well. I remember a lot of discussion and argument about ERF at this point, as well as impact shields being touted as an alternative - that was what I went for for my son in the end, because it was that much more affordable and portable to me as a non-driver.

Once Joie seats hit a wider market, this made a huge difference again as they were affordable. The Stages was indeed the first model they brought out and it just about fitted into that "reasonable" price bracket, they later had two models under £100. I honestly think this did a huge amount for ERF visibility and availability. Then the Joie 360 Spin (which I have listed as 2016) really transformed the market in itself. Spin seats were already popular but this made them affordable too. Suddenly everyone had one, and that is why I would put 2016 as the tipping point.

thank you- very interesting and informative

TheLette · 04/09/2025 20:55

My eldest stopped rear facing recently age 7.5. I'm surprised more people don't rear face their children for as long as possible; my preference is to do the safest possible thing especially when I see maniac drivers locally. Can't understand why FF would logically be preferable (excluding edge cases like disability preventing use of a FF seat, or a child constantly being sick when RF). Car seats are there for safety reasons, after all. They aren't some kind of fashion accessory.