To be shocked people are actually rear-facing their primary age kids

[EmsandPens]

My DD is 4, 5 in December and we swapped her from rear facing to forward facing in January this year. She started primary school recently and I noticed one of her classmates is still rear facing. I know the family from around town but had never seen them putting their kids in the car before and I know this child is already 5 and has pretty long legs for her age.

I know on Mumsnet it’s quite common to hear people saying rear facing until 6/7 is best but I had never actually seen anyone around here doing it.

AIBU to be shocked people actually rear face their primary age children?
Did you rear face your child past 4?

When I was in primary school, we were shocked to find any primary aged children using booster seats (and none were using car seats). Safety advice changes over the years and some parents will always follow that more strictly than others. The current advice is that rear facing is safer.

Times change, the issue when mine were small was using booster seats past 3! My mil thought it was weird because their cousin just used a cushion . The law changed to 135cm tall when mine were already 4&6 so plenty of parents had already stopped using them and didn’t want to restart though mine had high backed booster seats anyway, dd1 used hers until 11, dd2 until 12 (and even then she barely was on 135cm). As for forward v backwards, the most important thing of all is that it’s properly installed and fits your car model with the belts adjusted correctly- my dd was in a belted forward facing seat in a freeway crash and was fine, if she had been rear facing the police said she may not have been because of the boot crumpling and it actually pierced the back of her seat just an inch from her back. The seat was brand new having only switched to forward that day!

A child being sick is not only a massive distraction, irs also a choking risk. Its not safe either.
So its a balance between safety in the very rare case of a catastrophic crash or the everyday risk of sickness.

I don’t know anyone who rear faces beyond 18 months either, OP. I’ve never seen it. We had to turn both of ours forward facing as soon as we could because they get horrendously car sick if facing backwards. It wasn’t safe with them vomiting in the car, especially when on the motorway and I couldn’t stop immediately.

everyone is just trying their best, in the circumstances they’re in. No one needs to be preachy of judgey.

I totally get the safety benefits of extended rear facing, however I have only heard about it on here.

I genuinely haven't seen anyone with rear facing children over the age of maybe 1 or 2 where I live. So I wonder how common it is?

My DC are teens now and I don't know of any extended rear facing children when they were younger.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DMIxl0RsP1N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I love how you lol at internal decapitation. Maybe take your advice from car safety experts.

Quite common round here. We rear faced all of ours until they outgrew.

Also, this isn't a new thing. My eldest is 15 and had an erf car seat, at that point there were only a few available in the UK but it was definitely talked about a lot. I'm surprised there are still people who have genuinely never seen or heard of it. Even Mothercare staff 😉

This was always our go to for purchases and advice, far more up to date than most.

https://incarsafetycentre.co.uk/

Yeah and that is fair enough if you feel the risks would outweigh the benefits for your particular family. But it still doesn't change the fact rear facing is safer for the child in a crash.

So already another car seat thread has descended into condescension.

• FF isn't actually unsafe. Its just rear facing is safer in serious crashes. If they were unsafe, they wouldn't be sold
• If you walk into a high street shop especially 10 years ago, RFing seats were unheard of They couldn't give advice on something they didn't sell. They were only available from specialist shops. There were 2 on the country when mine were young (10 years ago!). Mothercare and Halford were the "experts".
• the biggest danger is incorrectly fitted seats or no seat at all. Not a well fitted FF seat.

While we are at it... itsca good time to remind people about coats. Thick coats shouldn't be worn in car seats as they stop the straps from functioning properly in a crash... the coat compresses leaving the straps too loose.

In short... RF safer, but FF not unsafe.

I have to say also, that we had big tall kids. They were all grown out of their erf car seats height wise by around 5ish

I was shocked people rear-faced after the initial 9 months in the baby seat, the poor kids! In a few years all passengers will be rear-facing, noses to screens, in the interests of "safety".

I find this topic hard to comment on as I get so badly car sick it horrifies me to imagine sitting backwards in the car! 😂

If it’s the advice now and the kids aren’t car sick it doesn’t sound that shocking logical to speaking as it doesn’t do them any harm, and sounds like it’s safer.

Mine are a bit older so that wasn’t the advice in those days - didn’t have rear facing seats that went up to that age

Yes exactly because car sickness happens every time you get in the car whilst a severe accident like that is thankfully incredibly rare and sickness also carries its own risks of choking or distracting the driver.

The majority of deaths occur in children who are either not using a seat or its been incorrectly fitted and/or isn’t appropriate for their age. A DC using a correctly installed forward facing seat from a well known manufacturer with a good ADAC score is still incredibly safe. Rear facing would be somewhat safer still, definitely not the 4 times safer you often see quoted but there’s no actual evidence for, but forward facing in a proper seat is not dangerous. There’s lots to weigh up when choosing a seat including obviously safety but also space in the vehicle, the comfort of the child and cost.

I turned mine forward at 18 months. I’ve never seen a DC more than about 2/3 in a rear facing seat ‘in the wild’ either. I think it’s one of those things where the people that do ERF are very vocal about it, which isn’t a bad thing because car seat safety should be on everyone’s radar, but that doesn’t necessarily reflect what most people actually do IRL.

I agree op. It’s all very organic mum.

as long as the seatbelt covers where it’s supposed to I don’t see an issue.

mine have been in a high back booster forward facing since about 3 I think. Can’t quite remember. Maybe 4.

there was a time we didn’t have any sort of child seats at all and we survived.

Both of mine were still rear facing into reception. They don’t suddenly grow and mature the day they turn up to school. It isn’t really a milestone that changes how they are in a car.

we survived

…apart from all the children who were killed or seriously injured in car accidents obviously.

OP your post is weird, why would you be shocked that people follow safety advice?
The evidence for rear facing being safer is very strong, but you are right, most people don't max out their RF options.
Lots of people I know made a big deal of buying a rear-facing seat for their toddlers and then turned them around about 3yo.
I'm not sure of the point of your post, you say its "only on Mumsnet" you hear of people RF for longer, and then you start a poll on ...ummm... Mumsnet to see how common it is?

And cars were slower, roads weren't as busy etc etc. Comparing the situation 40 years ago when I was the age in question to nowadays is apples and pears.

It's so much safer. It wasn't really a thing other than for infants when my adult kids were babies but for my 11 year old, he was rear facing until 5 (he's tall so grew out of his seat at that point).

You can get those inflatable cube things to put in the footwell for his feet. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BDKH4BBQ/ref=sspa_dk_detail_4?pd_rd_i=B0BDKH4BBQ&pd_rd_w=uo6mf&content-id=amzn1.sym.7c2bff8e-4ce3-4cc7-b3f6-35ac6c74cf9b&pf_rd_p=7c2bff8e-4ce3-4cc7-b3f6-35ac6c74cf9b&pf_rd_r=4GN28J1YMXY2KA3YA45F&pd_rd_wg=TKwUH&pd_rd_r=c4233a49-23d5-4fd7-8ba8-8312935313d8&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9kZXRhaWw&th=1

If I'm honest, I'm more shocked how many people DON'T know that RF is safer. (Not a criticism of the PP who didn't know, because you don't know what you don't know).
I think there is a long way to go on the awareness.

I knew a baby that was turned the moment she hit the legal minimum (fortunately a good solid baby) because she'd scream and scream until she vomited or passed out. The driver would then end up pulling over to check on baby's safety sometimes in much less than ideal places.

I remember a 15-20 min journey with her wondering why I was gushing milk mid-afternoon as my body had adjusted to DS in nursery by then, and realised that the ferocity of her screaming was triggering my lactation response.

I wouldn't generally advise turning that early, but the consequences for that family of regularly vomiting and passing out vastly outweighed the benefits in a hypothetical crash that never did happen (long outgrown car seat range).

ERF in young children and its increasing accessibility is a positive thing, but enthusiasts do tend to lack nuance and overstate the realistic benefits.

of course there are reasons like car sickness that make parents decide not to rear face but there’s no escaping the fact that It’s still safer to have them rear facing - whether they’re prone to sickness or not - you obviously have to make that call yourself as to whether you want to take that risk. You should watch some crash test videos and read some of the research available and you will perhaps understand better why so many opt for rear facing for as long as possible.

It’s Unbelievable that people get so upset about this topic when it’s just a fact that it’s safer - why would you argue the point. It’s like saying I prefer my kids not to wear seatbelts because they cry when they wear them!
Extended rear-facing travel significantly reduces the risk of death or serious injury - fact.