To be shocked people are actually rear-facing their primary age kids

[EmsandPens]

My DD is 4, 5 in December and we swapped her from rear facing to forward facing in January this year. She started primary school recently and I noticed one of her classmates is still rear facing. I know the family from around town but had never seen them putting their kids in the car before and I know this child is already 5 and has pretty long legs for her age.

I know on Mumsnet it’s quite common to hear people saying rear facing until 6/7 is best but I had never actually seen anyone around here doing it.

AIBU to be shocked people actually rear face their primary age children?
Did you rear face your child past 4?

When you look at accident stats, the overwhelming majority of children who are killed or seriously injured in car accidents are not restrained at all. Close analysis shows that it may appear that the % of deaths of restrained children has increased over the past 50 years, this is down to the fact that the majority of children are now restrained. The actual number of deaths has steadily declined and is now at a plateau.
It stands to reason that a passenger who is appropriately restrained has less likelihood of being injured in the event of a crash. But there are many other factors at play not least the car that is being driven, the state of the driver, the road conditions and the speed it’s being driven at.
Statistics can be manipulated to tell us what the manufacturers want to tell us - rear facing car seats for older children is a case in point. You’d be hard put to find statistics on the likelihood of a rear facing 5 year old being killed in a car crash compared with a forward facing 5 year old. You’d need to find all the 5 year olds who have been killed, they’d all have to be the same size child, in the same car, same road conditions, same speed etc. only then can a direct correlation be made. The rest is just speculation - albeit based on previous knowledge.
When we live in a society whereby the motor industry relied on car safety data based on male test dummies only, it’s important to not blindly believe everything that’s being claimed. Especially when it’s claimed by child car seat manufacturers.

I’m confused, my four year old has just about outgrown their car seat and from what I have read online they are now to go in a car seat with a seat belt rather than straps, have I got this totally wrong? As there is no way it would work rear facing!

Whats your childs height and weight?

If you’d read my post, I was responding to a poster who was referring to a time when car seats were not used at all.

When it comes to the type of car seat, every parent is free to choose within the legal requirements. But it’s bonkers to be “shocked” that some parents choose to use what are [advertised as, if you must] the safest products on the market in this context.

So you rearfaced your DD until age 4

But think it's shocking someone else is rearfacing their 4yo?

Bizarre.

Personally we RFed as long as we could with DC2 but I think it started to look uncomfortable by the time DC was 5.5 and moved him at 6. We had very good medical reasons to want to, beyond the everyday. You don't know what's going on for other people.

Your options for the next stage sear are either:
A high back booster that is forward facing and uses the car’s seatbelt to restrain him, this will last until he outgrows the carseat at either age 12 or 135cm
OR
An extended rear facing harnessed seat that will last until approx age 6, at which point you then buy the booster

Very odd. There are many shocking things in the world but keeping a child in their rear facing car seat until they outgrow it isn't one of them. It's just common sense. Why would anyone purchase a new car seat if their child is safe and happy in their current one?

Just because you, and lots like you, made a different choice, doesn't make this one "shocking".

I think one would just assume they’d be squished in terms of legs if you’ve only ever seen a baby in a rear facing car seat. I’m just googling and there is a picture of an older child having to fold their legs in what, to a stiff adult, would seem uncomfortable but children are more flexible of course.

I'd be impressed. We rear faced til almost 4 years - when my child outgrew that seat. I only came across one other family doing the same - a neighbour with a child the same age as ours. I don't think it's a coincidence that we both work in child public health/medicine. We had also both chosen the exact same car seat - the safest available at the time (I'd read the safety reports). Car seats are definitely not all equal in how they perform in different types of collisions, even within a brand. There's no doubt rear facing is safest. There are increasing numbers of extended rear facing seats on the market - I'd probably buy one of those if I was buying now. But we all have different attitudes to risk.

I turned them at 2 when they started getting carsick. Less risk of us getting hit as there was of them vomiting and choking.

I rear faced until 5.5 and nearly 5. I’d be glad to see children rear facing at primary school. I’m looking forward to the time that people are more accepting of the safest way to carry small children. I’m shocked at the amount of children arriving to school with no car seats or backless boosters when they don’t meet the required height/weight for them.

DD2 will probably still be RFing when she starts school. We have a 36kg RF seat. It took ages for DD1 to be happy FF when we turned her at 4 (she had outgrown the 25kg seat as she’s a big kid) as her feet were dangling.

IMO it’s a very small thing that can potentially have very big consequences so it is worth doing.

Also ERF is becoming a lot more common. Among our circle of friends, most have RF’d their kids to 4 and some are still RFing beyond. Car seat safety was talked about a lot in my antenatal group. I think there’s an element of demographics about it though.

My eldest is 24, all mine were rear facing until at least 2.5yrs, or older depending height. I would have liked to have had them rear facing longer, but at the time it wasn't an option. No one we knew did the same. We had a Volvo seat and an Italian one (not sure of the brand, but not well known).
Also kept the kids in high back boosters until the end of primary.

I'm honestly more shocked at the amount of babies I see on the nursery drop off that are forward facing and the lack of education on the benefits of extended rear facing. My son started school rear facing and only went into a high backed booster at 6 as he'd outgrown his ERF seat. He's very long legged and never had any complaints from him about being squashed - look at the weird and wonderful positions they sit on the sofa they're very flexible!

My 19 month old will be rear facing until she outgrows her current car seat when she's either 125cm or 36kg. She is a tall girl but I'm hoping she gets as long as possible before we have to turn her round. This is the safest way for her to travel. Of course I hope she stays comfortable but even if she finds it uncomfortable for her legs, it would be a hell of a lot worse if we FF her too early and then crash.

As for looking at a seat 🙄 she loves looking out the back windows and in her car seat mirror.

Why is it shocking for school age children to be RF?

I wouldn't be shocked to see children from around 3.5 to 6.5 facing either direction. It depends on the child and the car and the family size (how many seats in the car). People make many of their own personal family decisions and I don't think haranguing them about this either way is reasonable.

Forward facing a 1 year old under legal age to FF for no other reason other than you want them to “be able to see mum whilst driving” - absolutely shocking, bad parenting.

Rear facing a 4 year old for safety - not shocking

I'm pretty sure I was forward facing at school age...but the first car I remember my parents having didn't even have seatbelts in the back seats. Didn't mean it was safe or right.
My daughter (4 in November) is in an extended rear facing seat and will stay there until she reaches the weight/height limit. She's comfy enough and will fall asleep on car journeys at times.

Watch this video for evidence of safety of rear facing car seats:

Why would you be shocked that people follow the best practice guidance on car seat safety. Bizarre.

My 3 all came out of rear facing when they came out of baby carriers, around 9 - 12 months with no issues at all and they could see where they were.

I've heard a lot about modern day parenting and what's best but really 🤷‍♀️

I would be surprised mainly because at our school many kids are sat in the front passenger seat on a basic booster seat from age 5. Where we live no-one seems interested in car seats for some reason.

Most people wouldn’t have any issues as most people wouldn’t be involved in a serious car accident.

I have a seven year old and a four year old. We have an axkid "one" and a besafe stretch. The axkid has more leg room but the besafe goes to a higher weight.

I paid about £350 for the besafe and £450 for the axkid (prices have come down). I pulled together all ebay, vinted and fb sales as well as gifts from parents and grandparents to buy them as we are low income, but I wanted them as I have researched it and know that the UK crash safety testing for child seats is much less rigorous than in Scandinavia, i.e. we test the seats in crashes at a lower speed. That was the case when I bought them, I don't know if they have changed things since then.

I'm aware that this post will get lost as it's coming at page 6 but please do your own up to date research on that point.

Two years ago we crashed on a european motorway at 75mph. We went into the central reservation, not a complete head-on, but a big jolt all the same. I'm shaking as I sit here recalling it. DH and I were really shaken up and frightened, but when we looked at the children, they just slept peacefully through it, totally unharmed.