The man I’m dating doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet

[michaelsnores]

The man I've been seeing for the past few months has started staying at my house more often lately. My house isn't big, and the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, so you can hear the tap running. He was over this weekend, and I noticed a few times that he didn't wash his hands after using the toilet. I brought it up to him, thinking he just didn't realise, but he insisted he didn't need to and that it's different for men. I told him, "You're still touching the toilet seat etc," and even showed him a screenshot from Google.

He was pretty firm about not needing to wash his hands, so I just said, "Please do it while you're at my house since you're touching me and my stuff afterwards," and he agreed to that. I know he won’t be doing it whilst he’s at home or out and about though.

I’m not sure if it’s dump worthy, but it is a little grim, yes? He genuinely doesn’t think he needs to.

🤮

I’d be dumping him.

Yanbu. I couldn't date a guy who didn't wash his hands after using the loo. Urgh!!!!

Dump

I think most men don’t wash their hands after using the toilet.

Deal breaker. 🤮

And yes it’s gross.

I used to tell my ex and he denied it but the sink was always bone dry.

If they're unclean when you're dating, they only get worse later. My ex for example. Disgusting

Washing your hands after the loo is such a basic that I would wonder what else he didn’t do.
Not for me.

Most men don’t. I worked in the engineering department at a university. We had a ratio of at least 10 men to women in the staff, a bit better for students. The cleaner once told me he topped up the soap in the women’s toilet at least twice as often as the men’s.

🤮 dealbreaker for me too, I dated someone once who insisted he only had to wash his hands after a number 2!

I was once in the bath and my ex came in sat in the toilet (didn’t ask, just waltzed in), did a poo, pulled pants up and walked out.

I didn’t have sex within again. We split up a few months later. Gross.

Urgh, sorry I couldn't get past that.

My Dh and DS are both meticulous about washing hands after using the toilet, as PPs say you can tell when it is and isn't done.

I'd be imagining him not washing his hands before doing food prep too, then... no. He'd be gone sorry.

Why are men so disgusting? Why do they think we want their penis-stinking hands touching everything?

I’m so fed up with men and their filthy habits and general level of entitlement. What is going wrong in the raising of these creatures for them to turn out like this??

My only contribution to this is that men are gross. My DH tells me that it's basically about 90% of men when he's in public bathrooms who pee, shake off wipe on their trousers 😱then walk out. It's grim. He's really a big stickler for cleanliness (thank god!!!!) and will eyeball them as he is carefully washing his hands at the sink. The worst though are men who he witnesses coming out of a cubicle leaving a v bad smell (so obvious it was a no.2) and also walk out the bathroom without washing their hands. Boak. COVID times opened his eyes to how bad it was as you could see some men using hand sanitiser but reluctantly. It's all reverted back to them not doing it 90% of the time though. I absolutely hammer it into both my wee boys about washing hands. And cleaning the seat!!!

The shortly to be former boyfriend I hope.

Omg @MaggieBsBoat WTAF?!!!!

You should have dumped him there and then. Jesus what a disgusting creature.

My first instinct is to thinl gross bit considering what goes where when people have sex and dont wash inside and out of theit entire body, and having a shower beforehand is not going to clean everything, not sure what is the difference

That is a bit grim. Even if it's a quick swill with cold water for 10 seconds, that's something at least. I would be dumping him sorry @michaelsnores

I wasn't taught to wash my hands after using the toilet. When I was about five I was hospitalised with a bad case of dysentery. When I was discharged our next door neighbour expressed her surprise because she assumed I was a "nice" girl who always washed her hands. I felt totally ashamed.
Since then I've always been meticulous about washing my hands, and all the other aspects of hygiene my "nice" parents neglected to teach me about.

There must be so many people not taught about hygiene and good practice when they are growing up. But OP I think the worrying thing is that when you have spoken to him about the necessity to wash his hands he doesnt even as a adult understand why it's important.

I wouldn't want him to touch me knowing his poor hygiene and I wouldn't want to visit his home, eat a meal with him, or touch anything he'd touched. So the relationship would be over.

About 20 years ago, I lived in the UK and a survey was done and published in the newspapers.

A lot of male doctors (gp’s that is), after putting their hands on a patient for whatever reason, needed the presence of a female nurse in the room to wash their hands. Otherwise, they didn’t unless they had actually got a bit mucky.

I think most do

Deal breaker for me as well!

I always feel like a freak when I sanitise my hands after shaking hands with people but threads like this are my justification! Who wants to touch a hand that just touched a stranger’s penis? Disgusting.

My first thought was, his immune system must be world-class.

I’d argue that a lot of men don’t in a home environment unless they’ve done a 💩. Grim, but there you have it